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Why do we care so much what N's think of us?
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NPDS



Joined: 04 Dec 2007
Posts: 72

PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 11:09 pm    Post subject: Hi Kat Reply with quote

I'd have to agree with Feeling Groovy, that well, whether or not you still care for him is the case, you still have a deep connection, an attachment to him, it may or may not necessary mean you still have feelings for him with a buried hope... Once that connection is cut, I think that's when it gets better, sadly the children seem to tie you together and clearly you're forced to see him.

It is a tricky one when you can't go complete NC due to children involved. But just stick with what you're doing, live your life, adjust to the new path your taking, it'll take time to get this new vision into your psychi, but once your committed to a new life even with minimal contact, I know any feelings that still get battered by ExN will definately diminish.. (er, just going with my gut on this one as opposed to being a qualified person to say... it's kind of how I feel if that makes sense)

Once this new way for the future has been imbedded into you and that is how you see your future. ExN will have less relevance. And his empty words will just what they always were and you can see them finally for what it all was. And you know, you wont have regrets, you wont think anything, you'll just be hmm ok then and won't even bat an eye lid.

Just keep focussed on you, you're brood who you have masterfully grow into strong bright adults.

I think you should treat yourself to afternoon brunch with a friend al fresco. A back drop of calm and tranquility and just enjoy the sun on your face as much as you can.

All the best and well done for achieving what you have done to date.

Strength to you coming in bucket loads

xxx
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nemesis



Joined: 17 Feb 2007
Posts: 535

PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 3:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well it is a good thing that when it came to boiling potatoes I always let N boil them. And cooking too, he was welcome to it. In fact I learned from N since his way of motivating me was to compare me to some female he knows who does it so much better than me, that I have let him do just about everything for us, including paying for the suppers that he either cooks, brings home or takes me out to. By the way, it my observation, the more I let N do for me, the more he valued me.

However, an N is an N and his selfshness always reigned supreme. The last straw was when he cheated. That broke the camel's back.
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louxloux



Joined: 20 Jul 2007
Posts: 1532

PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 3:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tilda and Hank,

just wanted to say that I have also noticed that old posts have been popping back up.

Most of the original 'posters' and/or repliers don't even visit here anymore.

From time to time, I may revisit old posts when I want to explore a certain idea or theme further... but Hank, you pull them up to say "good post" or "valid point", as if to give your stamp of approval... not to 'explore' anything.

What is up with that?

What IS the point??

If you are genuine, you will find that you get the MOST benefit out of posting NEW threads to pose questions, ideas, thoughts, etc... OR by interacting with CURRENT members re: current issues, thoughts, questions, etc..

Just my observations.


peace and SAFETY to all,

loux
_________________
Beautiful light is born of darkness, so the faith that springs from conflict is the strongest and the best. Light is the symbol of truth. Give light, & the darkness will disappear of itself.

~ This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...
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Shadey Lady



Joined: 19 Feb 2007
Posts: 172

PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Matilda,

I have been wondering what has been going on- all these old posts dredged up by the same person. There have probably been 8-10 old threads being recycled in the past week. No personal stories were included, other than to say how much he loved his ex and for how long.

No, the red flags have been flying with me too...

Peace, Shadey Lady
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