Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Theresa13 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 1547 Location: , Ontario

Hi guys, just heard from a dear friend who's a cop that it sounds to him like the N may run..........(based on his behaviours this summer so far). Been down east and had sister visiting from west................Friend said we should let the powers involved know of his actions and contacts , because if he does get convicted------he'll likely get out on bail till sentencing.................Any thoughts...........Always, Theresa
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disengaging · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 1307

Theresa,

Whether he runs or not very likely depends on exactly what he gets convicted on and how long it would be likely he would have to remain in jail--and also how much money he has, and would be willing to lose.

You're in Canada, so I don't know all the "rules" regarding bail or bondsmen there. Here in the states though, you usually need to put up 10% cash of the total bail to the bondsman, and then basically have collateral to cover the rest, so if the court sets the bail at say $200,000, then you need to pay $20,000 to the bondsman, and have property worth at least $180,000 to sign over as collateral so in the event you don't make your court date, forfeiting the $200,000, the bondsman can then cash in your collateral so he doesn't lose his investment.

Now, if I was looking at a 5 year sentence, and with parole possible after only a year or so, I don't think I'd be willing to lose everything I had by running, not to mention having to spend the rest of my life living as a fugitive. But if I was looking at the prospect of having to sit 10 years or more in prison, then unless I had many millions, yeah, I think I just might take a shot at running--especially if I was convicted in Canada where I could easily cross the boarder to the U.S., change my name and identity, and very likely, live out the rest of my life freely, in anonimity.

But in that case, gee, would that be so bad? I mean, if he runs, then good riddance! If he runs, there's far less chance of him ever risking coming back to Canada to harrass your or your daughter--however, on the other hand, if he goes to jail and does his time, well, who knows what he might be capable of doing once he gets out.

OxDrover · Joined: 13 May 2007 Posts: 1465 Location: Arkansas USA

Running "might" get him away, and across the border, but it is getting much more difficult to "hide" in society in the US today unless you have a lot of money and can blend in. Running will leave him very anxious of discovery andhe is only one traffic stop from being caught--a tail light out on a night when a cop is bored--there are a million ways he can get caught by just some accident "meaning noting" and running will increase his time when he does get caught.

I am "in hiding" but LEGALLY and not from the police, but from the Ps. So I don't have that anxiety of being "caught" and thrown in jail.

Without papers now, without a real idenity, it is becoming more and more difficult.

Also, people DO notice others andyou have to know how to go to a place that will NOT likely make you "stick out"--in the rural areas some people try to hide because there are not many people---but that actually makes you stick out because strangers are noticed. Hiding in a big city where you will not be noticed as a stranger causes problems too--buying a vehicle, registering it licensing it, renting an apartment--all require documents. Even a post office box requires documents now.

If he runs and lives underground he won't be very comfortable unless he is filthy rich and can rent something for cash, and even spending cash causes people to notice you. He will be caught if he runs, but he may try-- my Ps all tried to "run" but their "I'm smarter than the rest" attitudes got them caught and arrested.

I spoke to the judge at the bail hearing and he set the bail higher so that kept this last bunch from running. No ties to the community and not much in the way of assets.
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Life is lived forward, but understood backwards.

disengaging · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 1307

OxDrover · Joined: 13 May 2007 Posts: 1465 Location: Arkansas USA

Well, Disengaging, if living in a "single room occupancy" for $80-100 a month is his idea of "living" I bet it can't be too plush...

The things you said in your reply to my post are amazing, though, and I don't doubt you at all--I sometimes wonder if our country is INSANE and in DENIAL--and if our society as a whole isn't playing "RESCUER" to those that won't help themselves---and of course won't "wake up" until our society completely breaks down trying to keep our noses above the water and "swim" with the weight of the criminals and the lazy on our backs.

While I have a great deal of compassion for the "truly needy" in the world to allow "entitlement" for support for the criminall and the lazy in our society doesn't make sense--it brought down the Roman empire and it is bringing our society down as well.

Well, I hope he gets sent to prison, but if he does run, maybe at least he will not live too well in "hiding" and maybe some drug addict will shank him for a $5 bill.
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Life is lived forward, but understood backwards.

WindSong · Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 1:28 am Post subject:

Well, think of it this way Theresa.... If he goes to jail and doesn't run and goes to jail, he is out of your hair. If he runs, you still win because he won't come near you or D because he knows you will turn him in.

But I sincerely hope that he goes to jail. That would be hell for him. And maybe he will get shanked while he is in there. He molested a child and inmates don't take kindly to that. You can kill and chop up your mother, but don't you dare hurt a child. They don't put up with that.

But if I were you and I could notify the authorities of anything that will keep him from being able to run, I would do it.

unfortunately we can't tell what they are going to do. They are so unpredictable that we just can't know. But either way it's win/win for you IMO.

Hang in there Darlin. When is court again? I'm sorry my memory sucks.

Hugs,
Tammy
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Theresa13 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 1547 Location: , Ontario

Thanks for all the input guys, the case starts Dec 3rd and that's quickly coming upon us...........I was at psychologist today and she agrees completely to let prosecutor know what's up, and DD was at her SAC(sexual assault centre) therapist and everyone's in agreement.......the general consensus seems to be he'll go to trial cause his ego won't not let him............and if given a chance (Bail) he'll run...........He's been in Jail several times before our r/ship but not on anything like this..............You're so right about that Wind they certainly don't look kindly on pedophiles............AND WHO WOULD KNOW THAT BETTER THAN HIM.......... I'm just grateful as hell that my life seems to be getting better, and as my friend Stephen Colbert says, I'M STAYING THE COURSE.................I believe that it will all work out just as it should................ACTUALLY I KNOW IT WILL........DD having a bit of a tough time, but we've waited a long time for this to come to trial and I think it's pretty normal........She's not having panic attacks, (Thank GOD) but vivid nightmares and quite a bit of anxiety.........little grandson is down visiting his Daddy (who's in University in another city for about another year or so) so she's missing him big time and her husband......but all in all we're doing pretty good....................Thanks to all of you for your continued support and prayers on our behalfs, It's truly appreciated and we love you so much for it............Alway, Theresa
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I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can't divorce a book.

Matilda · Joined: 27 Feb 2007 Posts: 1834

hey Theresa, have you read "Ellie's story" yet? she's a member here...and wrote a book about her recovery, and now has her own blog spot...but she went through something similar.....if you can't find the link to her story, let me know I will get it for you.

Matilda
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"I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out."-Steven Wright

Theresa13 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 1547 Location: , Ontario

Hey Matilda thanks so much, I remeber Elle very well and I recall her story on old board..............but would very much appreciate the link ..........................Tend to forget..............have read so much..........DUH................. Thanks.......Always, Me
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I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can't divorce a book.

Matilda · Joined: 27 Feb 2007 Posts: 1834

no worries Theresa.....here tis... Very Happy

http://groups.msn.com/NARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER/elliesstory.msnw

Matilda
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"I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out."-Steven Wright