Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Pretty_Lady · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 554

Hi all,
Here I am.
Beside each family having their rules and conditions I have also been caged by huge cultural victim box. I hope I am choosing my words appropriately here. Now I am slowly learning how much of my life has been taken away from me. I can not believe how many years it takes to realize that being here and having a healthy and happy life is my birthright.
I am cleaning my kitchen. This is where I start. I need to do my whole house. Yes, MY house that I AM paying for with my hard earned money.
Why is it absolutely necessary for me to clean my whole house and why it is triggering so many feelings in me? Because this is just one small example of how my family has violated my space and privacy. They "helped" me to get this house so they could live in it. My house that I am paying for, and yet, I own them with every thing I have because "I could not do it without them."
I am at this point now and I have had it. They are out of my house now. Things are being packed and placed in the garage. I do not own anything to anybody. I have come to this point because the pain became greater then what I could possibly take. I am here with lot of support and I am not looking back. Still I am not sure what waits for me as far as family's reaction. But if they can get quite long enough they will see the truth. Admitting it is a different story.

Here I am cleaning after them again, one more time as I have done it whole my life. But this time, I am doing it for the last time.
The reason for my post is I want to put down exactly how I feel.
It is more like you work so hard to put together a very complicated puzzle for yourself and someone comes and destroys it. Now you have to start over. Why, because you did not know what your birthright was. Because you did not know how to say "No, that does not work for me."
No blame. Not your fault. This is because this is where they exactly wanted you to be. Till today.

PL
_________________
The way out is through the door you came in.
R.D. Laing

justmee · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 692

It is our birth right. I am glad you can now say, No. I am still learning about that little, but powerful word...

hope youre day is bright,
justmee

Riccy101 · Joined: 18 Feb 2007 Posts: 287

Hi Prettylady!

What a great post! I can feel your new insight and strength. I remember that feeling. It leads you out of bondage! LOL. But kidding aside, it really does release you from them.

They cross all your boundaries. We mean nothing to them. When N's come in a family unit, you can multiply the havoc they wreak on your life. It takes exceptional courage to get out of those circumstances, and you've found it! I am so proud of you.

You're not alone, PL. We're here and we've walked in your shoes...Support is here for the taking.

Riccy Wink

thayilflies · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 486

I'll tell you what works as a great motivator: the fact that the N's in your life, want and expect you to fail. They derive pleasure from the fact that you need them to survive. Don't give them that satisfaction. F 'em.

Good post PL, we all feed off the positive vibes.

Pretty_Lady · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 554

hi justmee,
Thanks for replying. It's hard to re-learn things and make a permanent note in the brain. But I know it's possible.

Thank you Riccy. Your words mean so much to me. (((((Riccy)))))

Thanks thayiflies.... I feel great reading your post.

Cleaning my kitchen is a slow process, but I just hope one of these days I will have that "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" feeling.

PL
_________________
The way out is through the door you came in.
R.D. Laing

thayilflies · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 486

The "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" feeling from the satisfaction of a job well done. I love it! Get that kitchen sparkling PL!

Pretty_Lady · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 554

Thanks thayiflies Smile

It's a slow process, but still. Smile

_________________
The way out is through the door you came in.
R.D. Laing