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Thriving after survival -2

Sam Vaknin is the author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" and 8 other books about personality disorders and abuse in relationships with narcissists and psychopaths. He is the owner and moderator of support forums and the first person to have written about the Narcissistic Personality disorder (NPD) online (in 1997). He invented many of the terms currently used to describe the disorder and its effects on family, the workplace, and in various professions.

Where to go to ask Dr. Sam questions. This is intended as Questions to Dr. Vaknin and his responses

** Please do not post replies in this forum. This forum is for Dr. Vaknin ONLY to answer questions. Any general discussion posts WILL be deleted without warning.**

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Thriving after survival -2

Postby Zara » Mon Nov 10, 2014 5:45 am

Hello again. I just read as many of the posts/questions and more videos that I thought would be relevant to my own case. I am wondering if I am suffering from PTSD, and would like to know what to do about it? I am definitely operating like a 'machine' compare to what I remember of myselfTrue that much of how I operated during my 25 years of marriage (which ended after I found out he was homosexual) was about getting things done...at a demanding career, raising a family, etc., except then I 'thought' I had hopes and dreams! He travelled a lot and I had much to focus on, so there was not much time for a life for me...so I was absorned in my family's life. And as much as I enjoyed and loved everything I did for and with my children, I didn't enjoy myself. So I don't know if I was co-dendant or just a busy wife and mother! Now, I can't tell if the 'abandonment' by the 'perfect man' 3 years ago (post divorce...who treated me as if I was a gem and then dropped me as if I was worthless...an experience which started me on my research into narcissistic/sociopathic/manipulative people) was the 'sudden trauma', or the prologed 'abandonment' and 'rejection' by older my siblings (lost father at 11, mom at 20) that may have contributed to it all. But here I am, lacking enthusiasm, with no plans, just going to work, not exercising, not wanting to date (though no one that I would date has happened in the past 3 years), and not interested in making new acquaintances like I used to. I used to exercise, ate healthily, and was OK. Yet, in spite of some things that I did right, like creating no contact with the 'perfect man' in spite of his attempts at getting together again 'as friends', as well as cutting contact w/ my sibblings, as soon as I noticed their manipulations and games (thanks to my research), I seem to have no idea on how to enjoy life. The kids are grown and about their own life, I like my work, am still sought after, but I would like to be interested in life and living! What suggestions do you have for me? I know if I only exercised I'd feel better, but don't do it! I am doing better with my eating habits, but that is ups and downs too, I hope you can help. What do we do when we have lost trust, and the desire to create anew? Thank you.
Zara
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Re: Thriving after survival -2

Postby samvaknin » Sat Nov 22, 2014 5:25 pm

These may be of help - click on the links:

The Narcissist's Victims

http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq38.html

Victim Reactions to Abuse by Narcissists and Psychopaths

http://vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders70.html

Mourning the Narcissist

http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq68.html

The Three Forms of Closure

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse17.html

Back to La-la Land

http://vaksam.tripod.com/journal78.html

The Spouse/Mate/Partner of the Narcissist

http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq6.html

Divorcing the Narcissist and the Narcissistic Psychopath - How Do I Get Rid
of Him?

http://vaksam.tripod.com/5.html

Traumas as Social Interactions

http://vaksam.tripod.com/trauma.html

How Victims are Affected by Abuse

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily21.html

How Victims are Affected by Abuse - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily22.html

How Victims are Affected by Abuse - Recovery and Healing

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily23.html

Rescue Fantasies - Surviving the Narcissist

http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq80.html

The Malignant Optimism of the Abused

http://vaksam.tripod.com/journal27.html

The Inverted Narcissist - Codependence and Relationships with Abusive
Narcissists

http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq66.html

Codependence and the Dependent Personality Disorder

http://vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders22.html

The Dependent Patient - A Case Study

http://vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders56.html

Danse Macabre - Trauma bonding and the Stockholm Syndrome

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily.html

The Cult of the Narcissist

http://vaksam.tripod.com/journal79.html

Narcissists and Personality disordered Mates, Spouses, and Partners

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5013

Projection and Projective Identification - Abuser in Denial

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5002

Approach-Avoidance Repetition Complex and Fear of Intimacy

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5000

Guilt? What guilt?

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4931

Narcissists, psychopaths, ***, and marital fidelity

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4920

The Narcissist or Psychopath Hates your Independence and Personal Autonomy

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4959

I miss him so much - I want him back!

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4934
Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy:

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/siteindex.html

Buy 16 books or 3 video DVDs about narcissists, psychopaths, and abusive relationships - click on this link:

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html
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