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The Professions of the Narcissist

The perspective from inside the mind of a Narcissist/Psychopath

Moderators: WindSong, samvaknin

The Professions of the Narcissist

Postby samvaknin » Thu Aug 23, 2007 1:02 pm

By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited"

The narcissist naturally gravitates towards those professions which guarantee the abundant and uninterrupted provision of Narcissistic Supply. He seeks to interact with people from a position of authority, advantage, or superiority. He thus elicits their automatic admiration, adulation, and affirmation – or, failing that, their fear and obedience.

Several vocations meet these requirements: teaching, the clergy, show business, corporate management, the medical professions, the military, law enforcement agencies, politics, and sports. It is safe to predict that narcissists would be over-represented in these occupations.

The cerebral narcissist is likely to emphasize his intellectual prowess and accomplishments (real and imaginary) in an attempt to solicit supply from awe-struck students, devoted parishioners, admiring voters, obsequious subordinates, or dependent patients. His somatic counterpart derives his sense of self-worth from body building, athletic achievements, tests of resilience or endurance, and sexual conquests.

The narcissistic medical doctor or mental health professional and his patients, the narcissistic guide, teacher, or mentor and his students, the narcissistic leader, guru, pundit, or psychic and his followers or admirers, and the narcissistic business tycoon, boss, or employer and his underlings – all are instances of Pathological Narcissistic Spaces.

This is a worrisome state of affairs. Narcissists are liars. They misrepresent their credentials, knowledge, talents, skills, and achievements. A narcissist medical doctor would rather let patients die than expose his ignorance. A narcissistic therapist often traumatizes his clients with his acting out, rage, exploitativeness, and lack of empathy. Narcissistic businessmen bring ruin on their firms and employees.

Moreover, even when all is "well", the narcissist's relationship with his sycophants is abusive. He perceives others as objects, mere instruments of gratification, dispensable and interchangeable. An addict, the narcissist tends to pursue an ever-larger dose of adoration, and an ever-bigger fix of attention, while gradually losing what's left of his moral constraints.

When his sources become weary, rebellious, tired, bored, disgusted, repelled, or plainly amused by the narcissist's incessant dependence, his childish craving for attention, his exaggerated or even paranoid fears which lead to obsessive-compulsive behaviours, and his "drama queen" temper tantrums - he resorts to emotional extortion, straight blackmail, abuse, or misuse of his authority, and criminal or antisocial conduct. If these fail, the narcissist devalues and discards the very people he so idealized and cherished only a short while before.

As opposed to their "normal" colleagues or peers, narcissists in authority lack empathy and ethical standards. Thus, they are prone to immorally, cynically, callously and consistently abuse their position. Their socialisation process – usually the product of problematic early relationships with Primary Objects (parents, or caregivers) – is often perturbed and results in social dysfunctioning.

Nor is the narcissist deterred by possible punishment or regards himself subject to Man-made laws. His sense of entitlement coupled with the conviction of his own superiority lead him to believe in his invincibility, invulnerability, immunity, and divinity. The narcissist holds human edicts, rules, and regulations in disdain and human penalties in disdain. He regards human needs and emotions as weaknesses to be predatorily exploited.

You can learn more about me and my work here:

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/indexqa.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/cv.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/archive01.html (scroll down to section
titled "Sam Vaknin, NPD")

http://www.suite101.com/articles.cfm/npd (my journal)

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/journal1.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/sipurim.html (short fiction)

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/contents.html (poetry)
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Postby psychochunder » Fri Jan 04, 2008 5:34 am

My ex business partner was attracted to the venture we started because (a) it was in corporate management consulting, (b) it was about making positive changes to the way businesses work -- innovation, change management etc.

These appealed to his need to be in a position where he could tell others what to do. Even tho that was against the humanist founding principles of the business. Which of course he paid lip service to and purported to believe in 100%.

He was very keep to exploit uni students to come and work for us for free - because he wanted the awe-struck admiration.

He certainly misrepresented his knowledge and skills and achievements. Even his philosophical position.

He gradually became extremely controlling - telling me exactly how long I can spend doing something, demanding I spend time with him to listen to HIS ideas. He even controlled what ideas we could and could not explore in brainstorming sessions!

Totally malleable ethics. No morals. No remorse. When I got tired of his abuse and left the company, he did all sorts of illegal and unethical things by me and our clients. But he had no fear of repercussions from even the corporate regulators because he believed he was utterly correct.
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Postby wlw35 » Wed Jan 23, 2008 2:30 am

PT,
My NF was unable to work for anyone else, he was self-employed most of his life and "retired" in his early 30's. He did exactly what he wanted to do, when he wanted, regardless of his wife or children. He had a way of conning his employees while dominating them, brainwashing them, he did this to his own daughter, only happy when she made him money. For the longest time, I believed he was of influence, high intelligence (told us he was a mensa), probably all lies or gradiose ideas. He was involved in illegal actions, feels he is above the law, too. I am ashamed to call him my Father, he is not a good man, as much as he tried to convince me, I saw right through the charade. I'm positive he had a whole other life may never even know half the story.
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Postby Stand4Change » Mon May 19, 2008 5:38 am

Don't forget computer repair technicians. They get to play "savior" when the computer breaks down and everyone is in a panic. They can speak a "language" that most people don't understand. Then after they complete the repairs, they are showered with compliments and praise.

My Ex N offered to repair the printer at the custody evaluator's office. He charmed them completely with his sweet helpfulness and it paid off for him bigtime.

I've read online that N's are drawn to be police and computer geeks, one for the power they wield and fear they provoke, and the other for the praise and godlike status.
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Postby wlw35 » Mon May 19, 2008 1:04 pm

I've also heard they are drawn to a number of professions, including medicine (physicians) & clergy, haven't we all experienced the Dr. who is the know-it-all, don't need a second opinion-I am God, clergy, say no more, look at the mega-churches. You got it, they love all the glory and praise-- just like your computer experience, hey, I thought you would end it with the whole network going down the minute he/she left!!!!
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Postby Domitianus » Wed Sep 24, 2008 5:17 pm

My ex N was highly promiscuous from the age of fourteen. She moved to London in her late teens and became a pornographic model, stipper, peep-show owner and dancer and, out of curiosity, she dabbled in prostitution to see what it was like. She also did some extras work in film and on TV, including soft-core movies. She also got deeply into drugs, developed a heroin addiction, became a prostitute once again in order to support her habit and I believe also dealt in heroin.

After leaving London to get off drugs she did a degree in law, became a fitness instructor, set up her own fitness instruction business. She also trained in psychotherapy and vaious spiritual traditions and leads spiritual tours throughout the UK and around the world. Very careful, of course, not to portray herself as a 'guru' but rather lets others do that for her.

It strikes me that so much of this either revolves around control of others or 'look at me' behaviour which would fit a narcissist down to the ground.

Any other opinions?
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Postby Mirna » Tue Nov 25, 2008 5:37 am

I have to say that my N is in the medical profession , he is a fireman / trama paramedic. He has switched jobs 6 times over the last 8 years, either by his choice or by being fired. His biggest issue is that he is not promoted to the better position, later he found out that it was because he was too arrogant so they did not want him as part of the team. This pissed him off and he quit that job so now he is in an emergency room and part of a trama team. That is when he moved out, he has the adoration of the entire nursing staff there now he says...they love him and give him more than I have. He even calls me to tell me how he saved patients lives because the doctors could not.

I always thought bi-polar was also a big problem in the medical community, but now that know he is an N and saw this post I know I am not crazy. People in these professions are very rule based when at work, they have very strick guidelines. They absolutely thrive on the compliments that they can get from patients and co-workers. One this stops they move on and everyone there is wrong. Of course nothing is their fault , it is all mine or someoone else at work that is jealous.
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legislative auditor

Postby spawnofsherie » Sun May 17, 2009 4:50 am

My NM is a legislative auditor and it is the best suit in the world to fix her need. She gets to go to state ran agencies and have them move to her beckoned call in fear that she may look at their books even harsher if they dissapoint her. Before discovering that she was an N her constant boasting of everyone having to say that she had the cutest grandbaby in fear used to strike me as somewhat mallicious- now it infuriates me to see that she is in a position that sparks so much fear in otherwise good people that they will tell her exactly what she wants them to at all times- ths fueling the beast within her
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Re:

Postby Tee49 » Wed Dec 23, 2009 2:22 pm

Stand4Change wrote:Don't forget computer repair technicians. They get to play "savior" when the computer breaks down and everyone is in a panic. They can speak a "language" that most people don't understand. Then after they complete the repairs, they are showered with compliments and praise.

My Ex N offered to repair the printer at the custody evaluator's office. He charmed them completely with his sweet helpfulness and it paid off for him bigtime.

I've read online that N's are drawn to be police and computer geeks, one for the power they wield and fear they provoke, and the other for the praise and godlike status.



My N husband is a computer. He is not only a computer tech, geek, "god", (he tells me his clients say this exact word) I think he actually can plug into a computer and become one! His thought patterns are so black and white; he is very good at computer stuff. It is also interesting that when he comes home from his appointments, he always has a complaint or complaints about his stupid customers...most is complaining about middle age women who are belligerent. Funny, he used that same word in counseling when describing his "past" behavior. It always seems to be a middle age woman he complains about. I am more and more aware of how he talks about women in general as well.
In addition, I think he likes this because it is he and only he in control when repairing / fixing; he also does tech support via phone with a large group and always announces his performance rating; he is on top. Women are stupid & angry, he is almost perfect on his daily scoring. Hm. So yes, computer techs are definitely jobs for N's.
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