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Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group
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femfree
Site Admin
Joined: 11 Feb 2007
Posts: 654
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 Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:43 pm Post subject: The Narcissist/Psychopath Child |
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The Narcissist/Psychopath Child
| Quote: | "Contrary to popular myth, abusers do not suffer from anger management problems. They manage their anger just fine -- whenever there are witnesses."
S.C. Elgin |
The Parents Speak Out...
"My son had zero attachment to me as a baby. He never acknowleged me, never once called me mommie, no eye contact, bizzare behaviour. I remained single until he was 9. Then I made another horrible mistake. I got involved with yet another one of "them". This one being much smarter than the last. I have beautiful twin daughters. They are quite normal!"
"I feel guilty for bringing one into this world to prey on others. And there isn't a thing I can say or do to help him. I don't want to sit by and watch him lie and manipulate his way into someone's life."
"I adopted my daughter when she was six. She was like a hardened character...lied and stole when she could get away with it. As long as I kept her in a structured environment, things were okay until age 13. Went downhall from there. By the time she was 16, I felt like I'd opened Pandora's box and couldn't close it."
"I also have a son 18 years of age. He has exhibited problems since childhood. He also has rages, lies. manipulates. He is now off to a very good college and is extremely bright which actually makes it more lethal. He just hasn't been right since birth. He is no longer living with me and I pray he does well in life. My therapist said i did everything I possibly could for him including therapy since age 3."
"The grief never goes away because after all he is my son and I will always love him. I wish I could say the the grief gets better. I can't. There are times when the pain is just a little duller and there is some respite and there are times when the pain is as acute as an open wound. Birthdays (his) and holidays are the hardest. I live with the knowledge that the day will more than likely come that I will get the phone call that every parent dreads..."
"My daughter has no idea of how she has hurt me. NONE whatsoever. And even if she did. . . these are the words she would utter: “Well if you are hurt MOM - then that is your problem”. That’s how she is. NO empathy. NONE!!!"
"For years I lived with the verbal and emotional abuse. I have listened to him rant and rave against me saying things to me that no mother should ever have to hear from her child. He has told me that he can't wait for the day that I die. That he will spit on my grave. He has called me unspeakable names and physically threatened me. He has also written me heartbreaking letters of apology, promising that he was going to get his life together and make me proud of him. I have watched him cry real (or so I thought) tears because his life was so messed up. I have comforted him and I have loved him and I have forgiven him time and time again only to have him turn around and stab me in the heart when he didn't get the thing he wanted from me or hear the words he wanted to hear. He has cost me thousands of dollars. He has laughed in my face at my tears of hurt and mocked my sadness."
"You ask, how can I just 'walk away.' It's horrible to watch our children headed for rock bottom and their lives spiral down as they circle the drain in self-made sad and obvious consequences. If we don't step away they'll drag us right off the cliff with them. When we step away and detach it's absolutely amazing how resourceful they become. Heaven help anyone who gets targeted by them. So give yourself permission to walk away or psychologically detach as best you can. One way or another they seem to make sure we find out about their lives anyway - brace yourself for that. Hitting rock bottom is a first-class education for them. Let them get that education."
"We have learned to deal with him unemotionally as ASPD find emotional people scary. We have learned to be tough and to not allow others to malign us for our "harsh attitudes". We have learned to deal with him with our own best interest at heart because nothing we do will change him or his behavior. We have learned to never show any real depth of feelings for him because he interprets this as weakness and will exploit it. We only deal with him matter-of-factly. We have learned that, although this is not his fault and he is mentally ill, he is also dangerous to those around him and their protection must come first. We have learned the definition of true powerlessness. We have learned that to love a child with ASPD can be deadly both to them and to yourself. We have had to learn to start trying to kill that emotion as much as possible for our own survival. We have had to except he will, most likely, end up in prison or dead and can only hope he doesn't hurt too many along the way. We have learned we can only do the best we can because there will be very little help for us along the way and probably none for him."
"By two we wondered why she was so sad and nasty. We were so blind and always made excuses, just knowing that she would outgrow it or would get better with each stage of her life. Instead, it almost seems to have gotten worse. What a hard time it is to have people with this disorder in our lives!"
"We have been through numerous therapists. They waste a great deal of our money and time while we wait for them to finally come to the same conclusion everyone else eventually comes to. Then they don't want to treat him anymore. We have gone through the same thing with his schools. He is the master at identifying and latching on to a co-dependant teacher of counselor and exploitiong them most of the school year before we finally get the call of resignation that he is indeed ASPD. We have repeated this over and over. We begin every school year and every first counseling session the same way; begging for them to address this for what it is as opposed to buying his "poor little me" routine. We have put up with numerous attitudes that they know better. We have been told they are sure he does have emotions, he just surpresses them. We have been assured they can get to the bottom of it all. Most of the time they are a little arrogant about it. But, eventually, they admit defeat. Then they act like something must be wrong with us to have birthed such a twisted kid. (In fact, he is adopted)."
"We have come to the painful realization we are living with a little monster who will probably only continue to get worse. It hurts. It's painful, but we now see that to believe otherwise will only destroy us."
"She made comments of her 7 year old daughter as being pure evil and how there was absolutely no mother/child bonding no matter how hard she tried. She did bring her daughter to work once, and at 7 years old, she was not a very likable little girl. There was some very distant weirdness with her, but I felt sorry for her thinking it was her mother's lack of love. Fast forward to where I am now, I do understand what she was trying to say. I wonder how things turned out."
"I think my son is a psychopath. Has has always had "something wrong with him." He leaves devastation wherever he goes. He has 2 wonderful boys by 2 wonderful ex-wives who I love dearly. He was just recently arrested for sexual assault. Our family is shocked and grieving. Even though my head knows that there is nothing I can do to "fix" this, my heart is breaking because he is still my son and I love him."
"It seems the best we can hope for is he will end up as a con-man as opposed to a rapist or murderer. We have even had grave concerns that he will be released on society and probably do much damage to others before he is stopped (if ever). We also fear what will happen if he has children. We are left to wonder why they cannot officially diagnose him when he is 18. Looking back, he has displayed these tendencies all of his life. They have just grown consistantly worse until they are undeniable."
"I have had to work so very hard to distance myself emotionally from my own daughter. I would do anything to make it "right". My husband and I have done everything in our power to help her. We can do no more. I still love her, but I know that she is who she is, and that just about kills me."
THANK YOU FOR VISITING !!
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