Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

freedom · Joined: 19 Mar 2008 Posts: 5

I have the temporary orders hearing this thursday and a 4 way conference tomorrow. After no contact since I got a temporary restraining order on April 28th. (It did end on Thursday May8) soon to be XN calls me yesterday at my office and wonders if I want to get together before Wed and discuss. Of course I do not but not sure what he is trying to pull here. Any thoughts?

motwgk · Joined: 19 Feb 2008 Posts: 49

Not sure whether you talked with him, or got a voice mail or email. He's mining for data. Don't fall for it.

If you have, or had, a restraining order, DO NOT agree to meet with him.

Let him know via email that if he has questions or concerns he can put them in email format for you to review. This shows you are willing to deal with *issues* without violating the need for the restraining order. In other words, if you were so worried for your life that you needed a restraining order, and the order expired and you were able to meet with him, then it would appear that you didn't need the order to begin with. Don't fall for it.

Make him ask the questions or voice the concerns. Don't volunteer anything. Make him put it in writing.

If there are valid responses required on your part, send them in email. Be objective and be brief. Don't volunteer anything.

freedom · Joined: 19 Mar 2008 Posts: 5

Thanks for the reply.

He actually called me and I did not commit to seeing him. He ask me to send an email or call him but I have done neither. I am afraid if the email communication is opened by me he will see it as an opportunity to keep it going. He has sent me over 200 emails in 3 months. And they are nasty and horbbile most of the time.

I have seen both of my 15 yr old twin boys this week and also talk with them everyday so I know they are ok as they can be.

I think he can wait until the 4 way meeting tomorrow. I don't want to start that email and texting stuff again.

Does that make sense?

Trinity · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 96

Temporary Restraining Order- What type of contact did this include: email, written, phone- All of the above? And, what was the TRO based on? stalking, phone calls, emails?

I would have to say, you had a TRO...Do not meet with him at all. Just wait till the conference. Any type of communication you have outside of that conference WILL be twisted to his defense....and if you meet with him, this could be viewed as you playing games...that there really is or was no need for a TRO.

NancyCT · Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1236 Location: Connecticut, USA

My take on this - he doesn't want there to be any surprises.