Sam,

I am just out of a relationship with a guy who possible has NPD something I will never know for sure but I have a question after reading posts on several sites.
These NPD characters are showed in a very bad light and condemned. Many people say they are aware of the hurt they cause but don't care, they are manipulative and they don't think we are worth considering or empathizing with.
I can appreciate that the effects of their actions are cruel and downright evil at times but could it be a subconscious reflex that is happening.
In simple terms, for example we watch our mothers wash their hair and copy the method to fulfill our needs. Through trial and error we may find alternative better ways to fulfill this need and after repetitiveness it enters our subconscious. Therefore, are they oblivious to the destruction they are causing rather than with malicious intent?
When he uses third party proxy to back claims, when he lies, when he tried to control me in a way that was blatantly wrong to me and others did he know he was wrong? Does it sit back now single and think well those tactics didn't work, she saw right through me? Or does he think I just can't understand why she behaved that way?

Question:

If the narcissist becomes self-aware, if he accepts that he is a narcissist, isn't this the first, important step, towards healing?

Answer:

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://samvak.tripod.com/2.html

Also Read

Guilt? What guilt?

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/4931

Narcissists and Introspection

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq49.html

Projection and Projective Identification - Abuser in Denial

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/5002

Does the Narcissist Have a Multiple Personality (Dissociative Identity Disorder)?

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/4950

Take care.

Sam