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Silent Treatment

Sam Vaknin is the author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" and 8 other books about personality disorders and abuse in relationships with narcissists and psychopaths. He is the owner and moderator of support forums and the first person to have written about the Narcissistic Personality disorder (NPD) online (in 1997). He invented many of the terms currently used to describe the disorder and its effects on family, the workplace, and in various professions.

Where to go to ask Dr. Sam questions. This is intended as Questions to Dr. Vaknin and his responses

** Please do not post replies in this forum. This forum is for Dr. Vaknin ONLY to answer questions. Any general discussion posts WILL be deleted without warning.**

Moderators: WindSong, samvaknin

Silent Treatment

Postby Jujuba » Fri Mar 03, 2017 9:12 pm

Dear Dr. Vaknin,
I wonder if you could give me some advise on the following situation:
I have been in a relationship with a schizoid man for the past 6 years. For the last two years his schizoid behaviour has kind of succumbed and in its place he began to display more and more narcissistic behavior/traits.
Three weeks ago he unfairly and for no reason "attacked" and humiliated me during a sports lesson (he is my teacher) and for the very first time I refused to accept it. I fought back. When I got home, I received a message from him telling horrendous things about me. After one week of talk I offered to move to another sport school purely as a way to cooling him down temporarily in order for us to be able to talk again. He accepted the offer and since then has given me the silent treatment. During this time I have been abroad and sent him a couple of messages but he has not answered any of them. The only thing he did was to post a cartoon on Facebook where the character says that he is fed-up with relationships. 10 days ago, I stopped messaging him and have also not appeared on FB anymore. How would you advise me to cope with this situation? It is the very first time that he is giving me the silent treatment in such a way and for such a long time. Yes, I love him (!) but also need to make a decision as to either to return to the sports school and get lessons from him again now that I am back home or stop my membership. Not only that and most importantly, I am confused, at times anxious, and need to have a direction as to what is going on. At a certain level I fear losing him although I have gone through enough hell by now and feel, therefore, that if I could manage (which remains to be seen!!!) I would rather let him go because my life has been a nightmare for the past 6 years. What would be your advice if I was to try once again (!) to keep the relationship alive?
Thank you very much for your guidance. Much valued!
Jujuba
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Re: Silent Treatment

Postby samvaknin » Thu Mar 09, 2017 9:54 pm

Approach-Avoidance Repetition Complex and Fear of Intimacy

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5000

The Narcissist or Psychopath Hates your Independence and Personal Autonomy

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4959

I miss him so much - I want him back!

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4934
Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy:

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/siteindex.html

Buy 16 books or 3 video DVDs about narcissists, psychopaths, and abusive relationships - click on this link:

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html
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