Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

freenhealing · Joined: 04 May 2008 Posts: 60

I got to thinking about this topic some more and realized something that I think is pretty common. The times when I MOST need to take care of myself are the times when I will commonly most NEGLECT myself.

For example, I have been seeing this Naturopath for my thyroid problems over the last year +. I missed my prior appt. with him (see him every couple of months) while I was w/ my ExN. Just spaced it out. Finally got back to see him last month after at least 4 months. He had put me on these supplements in addition to the thyroid med. I take--mostly for stress stuff/adrenals, etc. He asked me how that was going and I sheepishly said I can't remember when I'd last taken them. And I was undergoing SEVERE stress at the beginning of the breakup...and was forgetting to do the most basic of things--take my supplements!

And this is my FIELD! Crazy. He did make me this herbal formula (potion..haha) to "build me up" and I take it twice a day and I swear, don't know if it was a placebo affect or what, but I went back in to my office w/ that bottle, took my first dose and I IMMEDIATELY felt my mood shifting. It was weird as I don't usually respond to things that way. Maybe it was just also symbolic of my mind/body saying "YES" to me finally remembering to do something. I had gone completely blank to the obvious for at least a month...more!

I know I'm not alone in that but just wanted to share it...hope it helps in some way.

cangel · Joined: 24 Feb 2007 Posts: 297

Knoxy,

I was thinking about you this morning and thought that first I would send you some positive thoughts and then share something that popped into my head.

I went through a huge SAD valley about a year into the end of the N episode (I like you thrived with and stuck to NC). Wondering if it isn't something like that impatient phase you land in when you are getting over an illness and are at about 85% of normal. Feeling better but mad as hell that you aren't feeling 100% normal. I found myself out of the fog, done with the obsessive thinking and ready to move on! Only....really only 85% READY to move on. I still struggle but the valleys are shallower (still too frequent though damn it!)

You probably have a good idea of who you are and what you want now - probably a clearer vision than ever but there is still some lingering junk that needs clearing up. Part of you is screaming OK let's get on with this already but part of you is still healing. I too find that my motivation for certain things - for me work and maintaining my house - has suffered as well. I put that down to some lingering depression but am trusting that as soon as I hit 95% the log jam will loosen and I will zoom up to 100. At least that is what I need to tell myself.

Continue to be kind to yourself - give it more time (don't you hate that phrase!).

Cheers to you!
cangel