Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

femfree · Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 665

Hi Sam. Here is a question from S

Dr.Vaknin,

In the past months I have began looking at the relationship that me and my
"boyfriend" have. In retrospect, I noticed some very disturbing behaviors
the main one being the lack of empathy and compassion during the pregnancy
of our now 9 month old son then the compilation of the lack of emotion when
my water broke at home and he didn't tell anyone why he wouldn't be at work
or that our son was going to be born that morning by c-section.

Over the past four years it seems that I have made myself a willing victim
of his "drug" of narcissim. I am only learning it now. We meet during the
passing of my mother and difficult divorce and custody battle. He was the
"knight in shinning armor" at the time. Over time, it seems that all of it
was false (as I now understand the workings of person of his type) and I am
now totally dependant on him in every aspect. He prefers that I remain a
stay at home parent, and my financial stability is of lack luster concern,
and my emotional and sexual needs are indeed neglected. I am learning, yes,
I am painfully learning.

All of the "typical" symptoms are evident and as I am (secretly)
strenghthening myself, it is openly being seen and the battles are becomming
more and more common.

Over the past year I have been doing all that I can to get myself back into
school. This is nothing he wants to talk about and of course he finds ways
to inconspicuously demean my ability to do this. I cam to the forfront and
was accepted to school and it has been a terror ever since. Over the
weekend I was emotionally needing him and it hit me so devistatingly in how
he spoke and reacted to me. He blamed me for the argument and that it was
all my fault that he treated me and acted the way he did. I have not spoken
with him since Sunday and left a message that I will NOT take his calls,
texts, or e-mails while he is away for a business trip. He has not spoken
or tried to talk to me as of yet. My concern is when he does, what wrath am
I facing? I am in the midst of a two year plan to get away as I have no
family or close friends for support. I need to get through this and protect
my children as well. I left once before and paid hell night and day for a
month and a half and weakly came back because I was pregnant with our son.
I can't and won't live like this, only I need support untill I can get the
money to get out and that will take time as I cannot get state housing
assistance until 2009. How do I get through the wrath(s) and feel sane as I
am feeling like I am going insane myself. He doesn't like to pay for the
medication I need for my own mental illness (bipolar II) so I am working
with a doctor to get samples and with the drug company for medicine. He is
financially well off ($100,000.00 a year plus) and I am not afforded health
care in an odd way rather than saying I can't go, he says I can go next
month at a payday and then the day comes and suddenly there is not enough
money for me to go.

All I can say is HELP HELP HELP.
_________________
THIS FORUM IS RUN BY WINDSONG WHO WAS DISMISSED FOR ABUSE TO MANAGERS AT OUR MSN FORUMS SHE HAS STOLEN MY PASSWORDS AND REFUSES TO REMOVE MY LINKS AND PAGES HERE

samvaknin · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 2230

Hi,

These may be of help or interest - click on the links:

Divorcing the Narcissist, Psychopath, Bully, or Stalker

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/5.html

Getting Help

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abuse19.html

Domestic Violence Shelters

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abuse20.html

Planning and Executing Your Getaway

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abuse21.html

Should You Get the Police Involved?

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abuse21a.html

Peace Bonds and Restraining Orders

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abuse21b.html

The Narcissist in Court

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq78.html

The Guilt of the Abused - Pathologizing the Victim

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abuse2.html

Conning the System

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abusefamily10.html

Befriending the System

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abusefamily11.html

Working with Professionals

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abusefamily12.html

Interacting with Your Abuser

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abusefamily13.html

What to Expect

The Vindictive Narcissist

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq75.html

The Three Forms of Closure

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abuse17.html

How to Cope with Narcissistic and Psychopathic Abusers

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq4.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily19.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily20.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/npdtips.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/5.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq80.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/4.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq75.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal56.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal68.html

Strategies for Coping with Abusers (General)

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse3.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse17.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse19.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse20.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse21.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse21a.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse21b.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse12.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse13.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse5.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse6.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily13.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily5.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily6.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily8.html

Working with the System and with Professionals

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily10.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily11.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily12.html

How to Cope with Stalkers and Paranoids

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse18.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse15.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse16.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily14.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily16.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily17.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily18.html

Take care.

Sam