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Psychopath sister

Sam Vaknin is the author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" and 8 other books about personality disorders and abuse in relationships with narcissists and psychopaths. He is the owner and moderator of support forums and the first person to have written about the Narcissistic Personality disorder (NPD) online (in 1997). He invented many of the terms currently used to describe the disorder and its effects on family, the workplace, and in various professions.

Where to go to ask Dr. Sam questions. This is intended as Questions to Dr. Vaknin and his responses

** Please do not post replies in this forum. This forum is for Dr. Vaknin ONLY to answer questions. Any general discussion posts WILL be deleted without warning.**

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Psychopath sister

Postby lillygirl » Mon Sep 21, 2015 10:33 pm

I hope you can help.

Years ago after my mother died. I caught my sister lying about the estate. There were so many lies, It's hard to even remember them but just a small sampling were her claiming to be on the deed of the home so therefore she owns it (Her name was on the deed, but only as a witness!) to claiming to have filed probate (she hadn't and lied for 4 months about it) to claiming to have it rented for a year. After several months of her lies, I finally called her out on them as things needed to get done. I knew she always tended to lie and exagerate things but I never realised how psycho she really is until I called her out on the lies.

All hell broke loose. Earlier she had asked me to box things up which I did but after I was able to prove she was lying, suddenly she was telling everyone who would listen that I had stolen things. (Ironically, it was she who was attempting to steal when I discovered the lies!) From me being a "thief" progressed to "stripper," and "convicted felon." None of which are even remotely true. She called family, friends - anyone who we know in common and totally smeared me in everyway. And she did it all before I even knew what was going on. I figured it out after my family members no longer returned my calls. A beloved aunt, who did not believe her, called me to see if I really was in jail. Apparently sister convincingly feigned concern of my "drug habit" in the story she received.

During the time she was smearing me, she was calling me leaving messages of love. I chose not to speak with her and had an attorney send her a cease and desist letter. She continued to call, email, text about 7 times a month and I never ever replied. Fast forward 3 years - and she still tries contact but started leaving threats.The things she texed where so "out there" they didn't make sence. Then it seemed that the lies she was telling everyone where suddenly truth. She wanted to know about the felony crimes I did, where I was stripping these days, it was apparent she now believes the stories she madeup. The threats increased and on my attorney's advice I texted her back once with no other words than, "Stop contacting me." The thought was if she continues after that text, I could file an harrasment & stalking police report. After a year I did have enought to bring to the police and I was able to get a stalking restraining order for 20 YEARS and the investigation for the stalking continues so she may get arrested too.

I just want no contact with her at all. I want nothing to do with her. And over the past five years she has heard from me once. She is blocked form everything, I have moved & changed phones yet she finds me. You think that after 5 years, she would give up but she didn't. She actually got bolder. I figured that although she wasn't getting supply from me, the fact that she can whine that I won't speak to her and that I harasse her (how can I harass her if there has been no conact?) she gets sympathy from anyone she tells her tale to. Although she threatens me with violence, somehow she is the victim.

Now I have a stalking order of protection against her for 20 years. I though I'd have peace. Last week, I was served with a temperatory order of protection from her! Obviously retalitory. I mean what do I have to do to get this woman out of my life? Her claims for the order are baseless and there is no support of it, it will get dismissed. (She says I am a felon (I have never been arrested!), I have called Child protection svs on her and I intimidate her. How can you intimidate someone you haven't seen or spoken to in 5 years? I never made a call to CPS.) In the mean time, I now have a court hearing and by having to go there I guess she feels she is in control. And what is going to stop her from filing another one once this gets dismissed? This could become a revolving door of control games for her. My attorney said I should file a civil defamation claim. He thinks I could win that and if I am awarded money, she may stop and get the message if it costs her a few thousand dollars. (I'm concerned she will become violent!)

What is your opinion? How can I get her to stop contacting me? (Remember she gets supply not from me personally, but her lies about me gets her the sympathy she receives from others.) She has already slandered me and that clearly won't stop, but how can I get her to leave me alone? What is the best way to get her out of my life once and for all? No contact doesn't work.
lillygirl
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