Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

am · Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 126

I changed my numbers; however, I still live in the same place that I did with P and have kept my e-mail b/c we have a common bill. I realized yesterday that it has been forever, can't remember when, that P has tried to communicate with me. In the beginning, even with his new gal, he was persistant. I feel safe as though I can relax and not worry. HOwever, friends and family tell me I am doing so prematurely.

Am curious if any of thought P had let go of you, moved on, only to be contacted again.

Is okay to let my guard down a little?

Thanks for your input,
AM

lemondroppr · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1464

I don't think you can Am. As long as you live in the same place, chances are pretty good that he will just show up some time. Where I'm coming from is based on what I've been reading others say, not from personal experience. I too live in the same place that my ex knows about. It's going to be a long time before I truely feel safe here and that's ok. I think it's a good thing to stay aware. I'm not saying be totally afraid, just aware.

am · Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 126

Thanks Lemon..... My lease will be up in a few months. I plan on moving. Will I be safe then?

Guess I am asking if anyone has heard from P after an extended time of NC.

Lukky · Site Admin Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 2616

Hey am......

I think we always have to be on guard...... We were NS to them and when there supply runs short they often try going back to original sources which means us unfortuately!!

I would never trust mine ever!! I think I will spend the rest of my life on guard cause thats just how it has to be.........

Sorry if thats not what you wanted to hear am...... but I think its always important to be cautious...
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'The Best reaction is no reaction'

alamobelle3 · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 617 Location: San antonio Texas

Time - distance means nothing to a P . Close every avenue as soon as you can . If he does contact you do not read it - listen - open the door
if he confronts you face to face look right through him . Dot react and get away as soon as possible. If you are capable of following through you can tell him next contact you will contact police -- then do it . Dont issue empty threats, you must be prepared to carry them out.
I agree relax but stay aware .
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illegitimis non carborundum

Ginger Rodgers matched Fred Astaire step for step only she did it backwards and in high heels !

Cookie2 · Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1395

I agree with the others am Embarassed

I also know it's not what you wanted to hear...Always watch your back...not as much as b4 but you still need to (like Lemon said) beware...We NEVER know why they leave us alone for however long they do...don't really give a crap either Laughing

We just want it to continue...Many p's WILL return...I've seen it with members over the years too.Sorry hon Embarassed

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I have a photographic memory....I just don't have same day service.....................Cookie

am · Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 126

Thanks all for responses. I guess I am tired of the anxiety attacks and looking behind me all the time. For the last few weeks, I have let my guard down since NC has been so long. It has been refreshing and have felt a little more normal.

However, I started reflecting on the abuse and extreme terror of being locked up in a room afterwards without being able to escape. I do believe he is out there lurking somewhere, and you are right, I should be catious. It's just been so darn nice to live life the last few months without the fear.

Reading Cookie's post on another wife being killed is no big shock. It's a heartbreaker but being an Ann Rule reader and crime TV watcher, it happens more than we realize. I am so thankful that it is none of us and that we have found each other for support. I truly believe that I could have been in the news. I often told friends and family that if anything happened to me that he did it. On the other hand, I am sad that those woman don't have what we have, each other. If they did, I believe they would be here.

Thanks for knocking sense into me like always. You supported me on getting out and every step since. I just wish we could reach more before it was too late.

It's kinda sad that we will have to live life looking over our shoulder. Our lessons in life have not been easy.

Sorry if I am rambling......tired and emotionally drained.

Hugs,
AM

Cookie2 · Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1395

am

I wrote this out n a letter marked'If I am murdered' and had it in my place for the longest time....so I too thought I would be a statisitic Embarassed

I even wanted everyone who stood by this abusive ahole to be charged for stupidity!(well maybe not that but as accessories to a murder that I KNEW would happen and they refused to believe would) Well as my family would tell me...IT DIDNT HAPPEN NOW DID IT? My sisters were always telling me this...if I changed the locks they would say'He has never come after you yet so why are you doing it?' Always made me feel I was stupid...how stupid was I not to realize I was never loved by this jerk....One might say my sisters were right...but I certainly didnt want to find out they were WRONG! and if they were WRONG I was gonna protect me Laughing

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I have a photographic memory....I just don't have same day service.....................Cookie

Matilda · Joined: 27 Feb 2007 Posts: 1834

Hi,
I can remember telling all sorts of people post p, rather inappropriately too, about my ex -because I was frightened that if I disappeared, or if he made good on his threats that no one would know where to look to...
and if I did disappear it would have been because of him. I am sure people thought me quite mad at the time, but I reasoned to myself that I would rather they think me mad than for me to disappear and no one know what might have happened.....anyhoo as it happened my ex began stalking me and sending weirdo mail to my place of work etc so a few people then saw that what I said had some validity.

That was four years ago. Man I can't believe how far I have come. Time and distance really does heal. I am so sorry you guys are going through this.

Matilda
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"I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out."-Steven Wright