Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

With thanks to our member Space_for_truth who wrote the advice below.





Hello Kids,

I have had a revelation today from reading several posts and links about the OW (or in my case, the OM).
Right now, as I sit here, my ex-N is in Mexico with the OM, and in a relationship that has lasted OY (One year - sorry, I couldn't resist)
I was really bummed out about it earlier this week thinking those unhappy thoughts (even after all this time):

1. She's been with this guy longer than me
2. She tells everyone how great things are
3. She appears to be giving him everything I desired from her
4. They will probably get engaged
5. She was terrified of even kissing me, but she's probably sleeping with this guy, making the Kama-Sutra look tame
6. There was no way on earth that she was functioning anywhere near the level of a 'normal human being', let alone 'relationship', especially when she was with me - but it's working with him - I must be the one who's nutz, right?
6. And so on...

So, if any of this sounds familiar... take a step back and remember one thing...

'The beginning of your relationship with the 'N'.
Do you remember how great it was? How it made you feel? How perfect it seemed? How he/she was your soul mate? That it would be impossible for them to look at anyone else?
You knew that you were in their thoughts constantly... that there was NO WAY ON EARTH they could ever be or think or do ANYTHING ELSE WITH ANYONE...
You were THE IDEAL for that person.
Maybe your friends made a comment like "the two of you go together like bullets and guns"? (Maybe you are friends with the Frog brothers)?
You were GOD-LIKE, right?

But then, look what happened...
You got turfed.
And before you got turfed, the 'N' sent your emotions and guts through a rusty sausage grinder. Their words to you were like breathing in tiny shards of glass. Their gleeful expression at your pain - like snapping a baby's fingers... You were tortured, and you died slowly. And when they were gone, you continued to die, well into memory.
And do you think for a second that the N was going to broadcast any of this behavior?
Good.
Didn't think so.

So... going back to the initial stage of the relationship... what seemed impossible to comprehend, let alone occur (i.e. a devaluation of any kind) DID JUST THAT. It occurred, all right.
It occurred hard.

Now look at their current situation.
What makes that any different?
The OW/OM seem like they are the soul mate, don't they? JUST LIKE YOU DID!
So when those moments hit you and you find yourself trapped in the green fog of envy, curled up in the fetal position and sick inside at the thoughts of Mexico, or wherever/whoever/however/whateverthehell else involving the the OW/OM...
Just remember how long it took for you to get sliced and diced...
Chewed and spit up like a bad banana in a Howler Monkey feeding frenzy...

When it seemed impossible...

It took one moment.
That is all.
That is it.
One moment.
One single second.
Tick-Tock...
For your ENTIRE WORLD TO CHANGE.
ONE
And then... from there on...

D
O
W
N
W
A
R
D
S

And guess what... it's the same story for whoever is next in line. IT IS INEVITABLE.


Trust me.



* And I know it might be hard, but try to have a good thought for the OW/OM. Jealousy can be a nasty thing, you guys. I've gone so low as to say this OM looks like a shaved goat - that kind of stuff just makes me look like an ass.
Feel bad for these poor souls. Have compassion and lend an ear when they get their lungs ripped out. Help them to breathe in this sick maze...
The 'N' sure as hell won't.
And then, tell them to hook this place up...
It's good for the soul.


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