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Please define No Contact

 
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fraggle_1972



Joined: 03 Mar 2007
Posts: 570
PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 9:47 pm    Post subject: Please define No Contact Reply with quote
I have not contacted N since Jan 2005, court for AVO

however

N, had been ringing me at work and hanging up till Nov 2006. No words spoken, just his spooky silence and disconnect.

So to the veterns, since when have i had NC.
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femfree
Guest
PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 10:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Since the last time you had any contact.

What's AVO?

They usually give up when it becomes easier to target a new person than trying to resurrect contact with a previous one. Laziness rules their world.

Do not talk to him on the phone. Hang up the minute you hear his voice
Coping with Your Abuser – Dr. Sam Vaknin
http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse3.html
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fraggle_1972



Joined: 03 Mar 2007
Posts: 570
PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 10:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
AVO = Apprehended violence order (the Australian term for restraining order)

He is not giving up, he has several new sources and has had since August 2005, as well as maintaining some of the recycled ones.

Nov 2005, was the last time he rang me, I answered work phone (usual work speal) silence then hang up.
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alamobelle3



Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 615
Location: San antonio Texas
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 1:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
then no contact Jan 2005.

you cant control what he does but not giving supply is maintaining NC .

Now if you had argued and you went home crying and couldnt get off

the couch that would be contact .

The difference is whether or not you feed the monster or give the junkie
his fix or get a hit yourself.


My 2 cents
_________________
illegitimis non carborundum

Ginger Rodgers matched Fred Astaire step for step only she did it backwards and in high heels !
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fraggle_1972



Joined: 03 Mar 2007
Posts: 570
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 3:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
I dont get what fix he gets out of ringing and hanging up. Where is the control there I have no choice but to answer the phone at work.

But yes every call upset me ...15 months later...and he still cant get over it.
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sallyishere



Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 833
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 4:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Fraggle:

My ex husband did not stop for two years. The only thing you can do is NC.

Sally
_________________
Sally


Just when I thought my life was over, it started again.
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samvaknin
Site Admin


Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 2316
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 2:01 pm    Post subject: No contact and other strategies Reply with quote
Hi,

No Contact is only one of many coping strategies - click on these links for the full list:

How to Cope with Narcissistic and Psychopathic Abusers

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq4.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily19.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily20.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/npdtips.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/5.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq80.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/4.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq75.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal56.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal68.html

Strategies for Coping with Abusers (General)

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse3.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse17.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse19.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse20.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse21.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse21a.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse21b.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse12.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse13.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse5.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse6.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily13.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily5.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily6.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily8.html

Working with the System and with Professionals

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily10.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily11.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily12.html

How to Cope with Stalkers and Paranoids

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse18.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse15.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse16.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily14.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily16.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily17.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily18.html

Take care.

Sam
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alamobelle3



Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 615
Location: San antonio Texas
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 3:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Fraggle - In their disordered minds - calling puts him in your thoughts

and if he is there he can still control and manlipulate you . NUTS !

They are wingnuts and I agree you are doing fine .

Just keep ignoring him - can you see his desperation - having to

resort to prank calls to feed his illness . Shhheesh
_________________
illegitimis non carborundum

Ginger Rodgers matched Fred Astaire step for step only she did it backwards and in high heels !
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sallyishere



Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 833
PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 5:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
No Contact means:

Dont phone him at all, not for any reason
Dont answer ANY of his calls for any reason
Ignore email, delete
Dont email him
Dont open any mail he sends
Dont send him any mail
Dont answer the door
Dont show up to mutual friends houses, clubs ect just to show him how much you are over him and how good you look...STAY AWAY
Dont drive by his house, work ect
Dont call anyone he knows

Treat him like the infectous disease he is.

Sally
_________________
Sally


Just when I thought my life was over, it started again.
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