Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

sag07 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 537 Location: Elgin, IL

N-Bombed

I will go out on a limb here, but maybe it was for another reason she felt the relationship wouldn't work. Also, I would like to date a person that went thru a toxic relationship as we might have more in common. I have found time and time again that normies has a very hard time understanding these (dysfunctional) type of relationships and might find it's in their best interested not to get come involved with the issues, and who could blame them?

As for contacting your pass xN, I don't think that would be a wise choice! If it's closure you are looking for, you won't find it there!

Just my 2 cents and N-bombed more information would be helpful..

Sag

fraggle_1972 · Joined: 03 Mar 2007 Posts: 567

Its interesting how a normal person disclosing a dysfunctional relationship to a normal person = gotta get out of here

but a N person disclosing a dysfunctional r/s to a normal person = sympathy and support.

How do they do it so quickly.

He uses the last geniune/out in the world r/s (as opposed to the other hidden reserves) to become the victim for the next string of women, and so the cycle goes.

sag07 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 537 Location: Elgin, IL

Fraggle

Good question,

fraggle_1972 · Joined: 03 Mar 2007 Posts: 567

like a used car salesmen?

so if someone is looking for sympathy and someone to fell sorry for them is this an indication of an N or P?

I know I dont want sympathy, I want to be acknowledged, I want understanding and to understand and support. I dont want someone to feel sorry for me.

snowynight · Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 3:01 am Post subject:

I think usually the sympathy they garner is based on lies from their past. For instance when I first met N he told me the most awful stuff about his two ex wives. Told me the second one just up and disappeared on him with no word. He at the same time was being such a sweetheart to me in the idealization phase that I was just livid at his ex. I was determined to comfort and sympathize and be there for him every step of the way and be nothing like her. Well, turns out she actually "left" because he had made up lies about the 1st wife not letting those 3 kids from first marriage come visit if 2nd wife was there. So he asked her to leave, and blamed the reason on wife #1 no less, when their own baby was only 6 months old!!!!!! She went to live at shelter with a 6 month old baby that he did not see for over a year!!!! What a freaking compulsive liar. Everything he said about them was so untrue, and I felt sooooo much sympathy for him not realizing how much I was being lied to. Yes, they want sympathy, but usually, what they really want is to get people to buy into their lies about the past and assume none of their past was their fault and that they were victims. This is huge NS to them.

sag07 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 537 Location: Elgin, IL

snowynight

Harley · Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 6

N-Bombed · Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 10

Sag07, I think you may be right - she actually told me she was very indecisive and didn't know her own mind and said I would 'mess up her head'. She said she was commitment phobic at present and might be moving abroad. She talked about exes and was quite open with me so I was open with her in return.

When someone suddenly changes you run through your head all possible errors. Maybe it was because I had to cancel a date owing to flu? Maybe she just met someone esle? Who knows. But it's maddening.

jomo20071 · Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 3:30 am Post subject:

Nbombed,

I can relate. Though I am not divorced from my N yet, I foresee that the scars will run deep, and I can totally see myself in your situation.

I mean I will heed the "it didn't work out" thing, for sure, but just revealing that my marriage only lasted two years will sound weird enough. If I heard that from someone I dated I'd think, "someone was a nut."

I DEFINITELY agree with survivormom that she may have interpreted the stalker comment incorrectly. I would have wondered the same thing that Survivormom said. It's just that you gave her just a little info, but not the full picture, so one ends up forming conclusions based on what one has and that can be very unfortunate.

I guess this is why it is good to remain silent until the story can or should be told in all it's glory....

Liamo 722 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 77 Location: Ireland

Guys
I had never really thought too much about the expression "stalking" before I finished with my ex.
I had seen the movie Fatal Attraction yeras before and I would have thought yep that´s kinda stalking someone.
The idiot that I was with accused me of "stalking" him, when I was calling him and asking a couple of strange questions like "How the hell are you in a relationship with your landlady.....asshole???"
Now I being a reasonable kinda person would not have considered this as stalking???? but then again I don´t live in the N world??
However, I did go on a date once and I told the guy that my ex accused me of stalking him...... he asked me " What did you do ??"
I answered " I was calling him"
My date said......... " He sounds like a psycopath to me "

Allleluhia and praise the Lord!!!!!
ITS TRUE............. There are normal men out there!!!!! Surprised

Liamo
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Sandy