Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

WindSong

Thank you. I'll try to be brief. After working in Civil Service for 23
years, my age being about 45, my boss referred me for a psychological
evaluation to determine my ability to work. This after receiving above
average evaluations from many supervisors during the previous years. This
boss is confusing and inconsistent with instructions. My mother had died
that year, she was the last to go after my father, and 3 siblings over the
years due to illness. When my co-workers found out it bothered me, they
talked about death, violence, stabbings, serial killers on and on until I
asked them to stop. (I was still grieving) They refused to stop. I got
upset and cried. That when I was referred, long story short. The
psychologist who evaluated me leaned back in his chair when I told him what
happened and said "what is wrong with these people?" Of court he evaluated
I had no problem working and needed no further counseling. But the referral
was in my personnel file. Two years later, she attacked again. I work for
Social Services. All Social Service workers have huge backlogs She went
through my cabinets and draws on overtime, without my knowledge, counted my
backlog, and brought me before administration that I was a detriment to the
agency. (I think I'm am excellent employee). I brought in the union, wrote
memos, and eventually got her off my back. But when I asked to be
transferred to another unit, administration refused to move me. I am still
there 5 year later. She respects me now, and I think she is being watched.
I avoid going into her office with questions (she used to be mean lecture me
about respecting her, etc). I email her any questions I have about my work.
Here are my questions to you:

1) How could I get a transfer out of there within the agency. I have been
very sick and don't really have time to get a new job right now.

2) I am keeping notes all the time about my work accomplished and other
goings on. Should I continue to do this?

3) She and her assistant both have NP as far as I can tell, so I always
watched my back. But the other 4 workers in the unit are happy to be the
favorites, and lie whatever way they are rewarded for. They always report
their statistic showing work completed to be higher than mine. How can I
deal with this without making an issue of it. I refuse to lie. I wouldn't
be able to stand myself.

4)I feel like she put a glass ceiling over me. Although I scored number 1
on the list for a promotion, after taking an exam,I have been passed over
2xs.

5) I don't know how to let it stop bugging me that the other workers lie
about their statistics and make it look like they are doing more work than
me. I never get credit for my talents in the office. Even though
administration is now nice to me, I don't go anywhere. The reason
administration started being nicer to me, changed my boss's boss, and now
watch her more, is because I pressed charges after I passed the
psychological through the NYS Division Of Human Rights, to get the whole
thing off my record. The case was transferred from Long Island to NYC?, (
don't live in NYC) and I lost the case. I did not sue for $. But now the
ones in charge are more respectful to me.

Thank you for your time.
_________________

I Love Little Steven And That Guy He Sometimes Plays With.
Confused and Dazed Administrator. Email me if you have any questions:
windsongsharmony@gmail.com

samvaknin · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 2186

samvaknin · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 2186

Hi, Jan,

lies are a bad long-term strategy, though they can be effective in the short run.

I know a bit about narcissism. Your third question has more to do with ethics.

Narcissists and lies - click on the links:

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal59.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal23.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal75.html

Take care.

Sam

samvaknin · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 2186

Hi, jan,

You are probably right. People who resist bullying in the workplace are often cast as troublemakers and whistleblowers and pay the price.

Whatever you do, will only aggravate the situation. You are very unlikely to get promoted. People don't "respect' you there - they shun you because they don't want to get into a conflict with you.

Why do you insist to continue to work there?

Sam