Hi. I have been with my boyfriend for four years now and don't know if I should stay or leave. Three months ago I decided to look on the internet for help because I was being verbally, mentally and emotionally abused. Through all this abuse, which has been going on for three years now, I stayed with him and I don't know what is wrong with me that I would let someone do this to me and then say that I love him. What do I love? I have no clue, yet I do feel love for him. He has done horrible things that have caused me such hurt, anger, and extreme frustration.I don't know how I got so lucky but while searching the internet looking for reasons for his behavior I stumbled upon a website that was all about narcisstic . personality disorder and I found myself reading for hours. Anything I could find I read. Anyway, I realized that my boyfriend had every characteristic trait of a narcissist. I definitely believe that he has this disorder and that I am not the crazy one. He did have me believing I was crazy. My problem now is that I keep thinking that if I tell him that he may have this maybe he will want help and then I tell myself that now I really am crazy because he will never accept it and probably will only get extremely angry with me for even thinking he has this, never mind telling him. I want so badly to believe that he can change but I don't know the right way to go about getting him help. Is there help? I am starting to think that the only thing I can do as far as help goes is to help myself. I don't want to give up on us. I want the guy that I fell in love with back. Is there any help for him. For me? Is our relationship a hopeless cause and am I hanging on to something that will never be? Please help me, I have never felt so hopeless and alone. Thanks.... JK[/b]

Only a qualified mental health diagnostician can determine whether someone suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and this, following lengthy tests and personal interviews.

These may be of help - click on the links:

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/1.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/npdglance.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq82.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faqpd.html

Healing and Curing Narcissism

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq63.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq77.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq70.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq12.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/10.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/case03.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq31.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/abusefamily8.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders37.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders45.html

These may be of help - click on the links:

Rescue Fantasies - Surviving the Narcissist

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq80.html

The Malignant Optimism of the Abused

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal27.html

The Inverted Narcissist - Codependence and Relationships with Abusive
Narcissists

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq66.html

Codependence and the Dependent Personality Disorder

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders22.html

The Dependent Patient - A Case Study

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders56.html

Danse Macabre - Trauma bonding and the Stockholm Syndrome

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily.html

The Cult of the Narcissist

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal79.html

The Narcissist's Victims

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq38.html

Victim Reactions to Abuse by Narcissists and Psychopaths

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders70.html

Mourning the Narcissist

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq68.html

The Three Forms of Closure

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse17.html

Back to La-la Land

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal78.html

The Spouse/Mate/Partner of the Narcissist

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq6.html

Divorcing the Narcissist and the Narcissistic Psychopath - How Do I Get Rid
of Him?

http://samvak.tripod.com/5.html

Traumas as Social Interactions

http://samvak.tripod.com/trauma.html

How Victims are Affected by Abuse

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily21.html

How Victims are Affected by Abuse - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily22.html

How Victims are Affected by Abuse - Recovery and Healing

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily23.html

Narcissists and Personality disordered Mates, Spouses, and Partners

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/na ... ssage/5013

Projection and Projective Identification - Abuser in Denial

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/na ... ssage/5002

Approach-Avoidance Repetition Complex and Fear of Intimacy

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/na ... ssage/5000

Guilt? What guilt?

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/na ... ssage/4931

Narcissists, psychopaths, sex, and marital fidelity

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/na ... ssage/4920

The Narcissist or Psychopath Hates your Independence and Personal Autonomy

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/na ... ssage/4959

I miss him so much - I want him back!

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/na ... ssage/4934

Take care.

Sam