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femfree
Site Admin
Joined: 11 Feb 2007
Posts: 654
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 Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 3:55 pm Post subject: The Nature of the Beast |
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THE NATURE OF THE BEAST
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"After thirty-five years of work, Bob Hare has brought us to the stage where we know what psychopathy is, how much damage psychopaths do, and even how to identify them. But we don't know how to treat them or protect the population from them."
Dr. Robert Hare Interview Psychopaths Among Us
'Take a Look Around' Robert Hercz
http://www.hare.org/links/saturday.html/ |
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"Con artists will sometimes honor their commitments in the beginning so that you begin to trust them. They'll pay back initial loans, or appear to be unselfishly helping other people. Their objective is to get you to drop your guard."
Donna Andersen -
http://www.lovefraud.com/
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"I feel that I am kind, sensitive, and gentle and these people just eat me alive."
"I stop and ask myself what I was doing with a person like this...I wouldn't have a friend like this, why would I tolerate these qualities in someone I supposedly loved?"
"When my 6 yr. old daughter and I moved in to his house, he said he would put his hunting rifles away, out of reach of my daughter. He put one away, but left the second one at the foot of our bed for 3 days. When I asked him to put it away he said, "Nag, nag, nag, A_____, pick, pick pick!!! I said I would put it away and I WILL!" Then he says, "You want to see it?" I said, "not really, I just want it out of sight." He then put the gun case on the bed (I was sitting on the bed) pulled out the rifle, pointed it past my right shoulder and looking down the gun barrel said, "Look at THAT! That thing would blow your head clean off!" Then he laughed, like it was a joke. I moved quickly and said, "That's not funny." It was just this weird moment. I told my parents about it and my Mom said my Dad flew off the couch and said, "If she doesn't get out of there, I'm going to drive out there and get her myself." He had really liked my N before that, but as soon as I moved in, things just got weird. I left 10 days later."
"My Psychiatrist was wonderfully supportive and knowledgeable. In the course of our discussion he said -- Ps are Cheetahs in human form.
"How so?" I asked. He replied..."In the wilderness, the Cheetah does not chase an entire herd. Hundreds of gazelles could go past until the Cheetah recognizes the one who is his prey. It is perhaps limping, perhaps slower than the rest, perhaps not paying attention to where the others are going. It doesn't matter what the gazelle is doing, the Cheetah targets it -- and it is dead. It doesn't stand a chance. It could be running right beside the fattest, plumpest, juiciest gazelle, but it is not the Cheetah's target. The fattest, plumpest is safe. Only the target dies."
"Ps," he said "do that. They identify their target, put them into the crosshairs and pursue -- without being distracted by any peripheral activity or people. Their target is their dead reckoning." Now, my challenge, as we both agreed, has been to identify what it was within me that recognized the P as desirable. Because he was, at one time, very desirable to me."
"Lawyers tell us we all have the right to make bad decisions, but this guy made it a career."
"Spectacular absence of common sense."
"This evil seeks and finds anything and everything that is sacred, special, or cherished and seeks not only to destroy it; but to do so in the most agonizing, never-ending, worst way imaginable."
"Even now I find it difficult to fathom how you can give so much of yourself to a person and have them so totally wipe it all away as if it never happened with no remorse and go on their merry way leaving a path of destruction behind them."
"The first time I pissed him off, I looked into those piercing blue eyes and felt like I was looking at the devil himself. Those eyes were so full of evil and so dark."
"One common theme that everyone seems to post is how their Ns told stories of a tragic past. Stories about how they were picked on as children, suffered at the hands of their mean parents, betrayed by every friend, abused and/or taken advantage of by former lovers, and poorly and unfairly treated by the entire world in-general due to no fault of their own. Bleeech!
Anyway, a few months ago I saw a "pan handler" being interviewed on TV. You know, one of the many down-trodden you see at street corners, holding signs and looking for cash. Anyway, this man was very successful and made quite a good living doing that. He asked the interviewer, "Do you know what is the first prerequisite you need in order to manipulate someone?" While the interviewer and I both pondered the question for a moment, my knee-jerk response was, "Trust!"
"He said exactly the same things he has always said in exactly the same order."
"Within the first week he had warned me that he was an evil person, and like most of you probably I laughed it off as a joke."
As my answer quickly came to mind, the interviewer quickly said "Trust" as well. The pan-handler grinned, leaned back, and said, "Nope!" He added, "Oh, you can certainly manipulate someone if you have their trust, but that's not quick or easy to get. The first prerequisite is pity. You see, once I get someone's pity, I've elevated them to a position that is higher than mine. In their subsconsciece minds they have more power than I. In a few moments I could see his eyes dance with delight, "I have immediate control, and it only took 10 seconds." I have thought about that interview every time I read someone's story about the woeful past of their N. Yep. It's just meat tenderizer they use on us."
"In my view, as long as Ns can find prey and victims to feed off of they will not, nor cannot, change."
"They adopt the 'silent treatment' waiting game. The rough translation is they will try to wear you down, and wait to see what, when, and how you do something for them."
"Abusers are evil people who have opted out of the human race."
"My NH always has one foot on the Pulpit and the other in the Gutter."
Q. "Will I ever have that feeling I had while with N...that safe feeling, the feeling that we were meant to be together...it just felt so very right??"
A. "I hope you don't mean this. If you are one of those emotionally-demonstrative, needy, clingy, dependent types, any N on the prowl, and they are all on the prowl, will shout out with glee as he easily radars you and immediately and he'll be able to put on a show of mimicked human emotions performed with amazing accuracy. Trying to get past level-headed logic and realistic expectations will be much more difficult for the N. If you want 'feelings' go buy a Harlequin, any N will delivery feelings alright - romance, false promises then rage, terror and betrayal - you'll get them all."
"The problem with the narcissist's lack of attachment is not just a fear of commitment---it means they are capable of walking away at ANY POINT when there are better options elsewhere. A narcissist is a huge risk for anyone to have as a partner. They will leave when we need them the most."
"Yea, I remember the day the n dumped me. He called me the next day like nothing had happened."
"I believe I've been to Hell and met the Devil."
"The bottom line it seems to me, is if you lost your leg, a P would find that a personal inconvenience somehow and be complaining about it."
"Normal rules of conduct between normal human beings do not apply with a person like this."
"Now, I think the answer to your question " on what qualities in a person might totally avert a P" is the total and complete UNWILLINGNESS to put up with any BULLSHIT whatsoever.
"If my ex P and I were ship-wrecked at sea with one life ring to swim for, he would have pushed my head under water whilst telling me how sorry he was and how much he had always loved me."
"They throw out a huge net. Like a big fishing net, hoping to pull in a few gullible ones. What I saw were 75 women on his network ans he was writing them all, better chances with more numbers I guess. Quantity over quality by golly. Yeah, these guys are WORKIN IT!"
"People were so envious of me and us. Things were great. Then one day, overnight almost - it all changed. There is nothing he didn't do to me and my kids. It was a living hell. I couldn't even tell anybody for 2 years - cause I knew nobody would believe me. And when I did start to talk a little.... nobody believed me. But he knew that would happen. He turned into a monster and he tortured and tormented us daily."
"He's good at getting you to do things for him. Just stop it. Say No. He's using you and laughing at you."
"He's a monster. I have never seen anyone do such a huge about-face in my life. It was as if I didn't even KNOW this person at the end. That makes no contact so much easier, because I wouldn't be talking to the fake guy anyway. The new 'real' him makes my stomach turn."
"He is a person of deep evil. Why did I let him do that to me?"
Reply: "You didn't 'let' him do it to you. He did it. Please do not hold yourself accountable for what you believe you 'let' him do. You didn't choose to let him abuse you."
"You say your guy might actually be an NPD. Sometimes I don't think there's a dime's worth of difference between the P and the N (narcissist). So if he is violent, unpredictable and a chronic liar he's more likely to be a P; more needy of admiration, more likely to be an N. In most other respects they are quite similar."
"I wish I could offer you any encouragement with your loved one, but in the 11 years I've dealt with them in my life, I've only known grief, lies, distorted realities, schemes, police, chaos, courts. I often feel like they sit in the eye of a self-created tornado and watch their loved ones circling around in total chaos, and if the winds ever die down, they find a way to get them whirling again. I have always felt like they did this on purpose - like they were the most cunning people I've encountered to orchestrate all this turmoil but through this website, I've come to learn that I'm wrong and that there truly are deeper reasons an N acts out like they do. The key for you is to learn as much as you can as fast as you can, and protect yourself financially and emotionally. Not too many people survive the devastation of a tornado.?
"I used to absorb everything he hurled at me. The nasty people at work, his money problems, the xgf, thinking of how I could remedy the situation for "poor N." So while I was up to my eyeballs in his baggage, finding solutions for his problems, he went about his merry way, knowing I would take care of everything."
"He always had time to prowl around my house when I was at work, go through the trash, the rooms, everything."
"He appears to the outside world to be loving, considerate, helpful, charming, knowledgeable and hardworking. They think he's boy wonder. He tells everyone of his deep religious commitment, attends church, and has little old ladies bringing him religious writings. His business is a source of NS for him (big time) and puts him in contact with many people where he is able to garner much NS. It works beautifully. And, I have never met a more evil, cunning, ruthless predator in my life."
"It's hard to believe there are people among us that our so diabolical, so calculated, so callous and would do almost anything if they could get away with it."
"Sometimes I really believes he thinks he loves these women until their money runs out, and he suddenly has glitches in the relationship and that is when he tells these women "Oh sorry but this isn't going to work out." Where he finds these women with money I don't know, but this is the 3rd. He must have a radar."
"A psychiatrist told me that N/Ps are literally grocery carts of mental health problems."
"He's now giving his new g/f everything I asked for and he promised me."
"He staged these phoney telephone calls. I would ring him about simple things and I?d hear "Jessie, Jessie calm down. For God's sake what's the matter, why are you screaming at me? Look pull yourself together I can't talk to you when your like this..... yes right right I'm coming down now." I would be dumstruck and whoever was at his home when he staged this show must have thought I was a nutter. This went on for ages, years, and I was at a loss what the hell to do. My P is a master with words, an absolute genious."
"He has gone on to another woman. Moved in within a few days of leaving me. I found out afterwards from one of his wives that this was definitely a pattern."
"How could something that was so real to me have been a lie? How can someone create such a false world and let you happily live in it then turn it upside down. Why the hell did I have to experience that?? How can someone be so cruel?"
"Anything I valued he put down or disregard - anything, from human life or where I bought gas to a simple restaurant choice."
"The therapist says that if they live in a certain level of chaos, it is uncomfortable for that chaos level to drop, so they will increase the chaos themselves. It's the nature of the beast."
THANK YOU FOR VISITING !!
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