Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

NarcNobbler · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 341

I have re-run all the “Nice” memories of me and my XN over in my head after taking off the rose tinted glass’s, this took a while as we were friends years ago also and filtered those moments with what I have learned of the disorder from the board and stomped all over them in the harsh light of reality. But that’s old news.

That aside, what I mean by Talking in the 3rd Person, my XN would relate a story usually a nasty one but refer to it happening to an acquaintance of her’s.

Stories of her previous sexual exploits(early on in the r/s) when I told her I was willing to break up if this continued, she suddenly started relating stories where her friends were the protagonist’s. They all didn’t relate to a skanky plot, some were plain nasty, but I always thought the smugness in which she relayed them she was boasting in the 3rd person.

Another example in one of our last interactions when I would not take pity on her, she told me she’s going through, a tough time at the moment and trying to help a suicidal friend who’s girlfriend had left. Could I help her for his sake?.

That week I’m contacted by one of her discarded friends, lost of prying questions, I wouldn't answer ,but at the end, I was told, how could she have left you for Z,
Z being the name of the suicidal friend in her story, I had forgotten his name and not picked up on the connection. One thing, I had got some weird vibes about ,(long story and you’d think I was out their with the fairy’s) she also had a lesbian lover (Xn’s Bi by the way),so I told her friend this and she looked shocked ,she didn’t think I knew about her(I didn’t, but I did now, had to ask to prove I wasn’t going nuts). I’m not even counting her current boyfriend, who was in the mix at the same time also, sounds like a bad soap opera plot.

It was as if she had pulled a switch in my head and a myriad of little lights came on.

Lots of memories where my gut had just not felt right about the answers she had given me.

Ok deception, plain and simple you may say.

But when I went over these I realized she had dropped little clues, very cryptic one’s, throughout the relationship in conversations, of what she was and what she had and was up to. They say certain criminals leave clues behind not to be caught but because they feel superior to the police.

Just wondering if anyone can relate to this, is it an N thing? 3rd person / cryptic clues.

And the flip-side she would also recycle other peoples story’s, replacing herself as the main character.

P.S. I can laugh now, knowing she needed 3 people to replace little old me.  Smile

Then again was I the only one. Unlikely. Wink

Narc.
_________________
"You become what you Hate"

God loves a trier, but I can take a hint!

nolongertrusting · Joined: 25 Feb 2007 Posts: 275

NarcNobbler, Never had the 3rd person experience. Just some truths with a poop load of lies.
The clues were cryptic, and because he was so flipping smart I didn't question anything.

nolonger

NarcNobbler · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 341

Hi Nolongertrusting,

Thanks for the reply.

nolongertrusting · Joined: 25 Feb 2007 Posts: 275

Narc, Their crap does catch up in the end. It always does. People start seeing through the bs and eventually get out. Its just too bad we didn't see the red flags in advance. For me, that's been the hardest part, how could I have been so dumb?

Arrogance, plenty of that.

Your and old Thin Lizzy fan? I noticed Mark isn't playing in the US.

I'm doing ok, I can't complain too much.

Nolonger

disengaging · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 1342

Hey Narc,

Can't say I identify with the talking in the 3rd party thing, but those cryptic clues? Oh yeah.

Long before I had any idea my husband's X was an N, well, we attempted to remain basically "civil" with her, and I honestly had no idea why she not only showed up at my husband's family function such as weddings, but would also insist on sitting with us--directing most of her conversation towards me. I thought it was weird, but figured she'd eventually go get a life of her own...

Oh, the things she'd say to me! They were just so "off"--but I was still pretty naive and it all just went right over my head. I was completely clueless--until the day my husband's grandfather dragged me downstairs on the pretext of wanting to show me some of his photography, and then told me how pissed off he was at my husband's X pulling her crap at HIS house--not only had he not invited her, he had told my husband's parents NOT to bring her, and they did it anyway. He then asked me why I was continuing to put up with her condenscending patronization and continuous insults, didn't I get it?

No! I really didn't! She always acted so nice and sweet, as if she honestly wanted us all to be "friends". I was so eager to "fit in" with my husband's family, and she was just so smooth and subtle that I never actually heard those demeaning insults behind her sugarcoated words. He had to point all the nuances and implications out before I finally "got it", and OH my GOD!

NarcNobbler · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 341

nolongertrusting · Joined: 25 Feb 2007 Posts: 275

Narc, you made my day!!!

Narc, my x-husband used to sound and lights in his younger days. I won't go into details because he wasn't a P.

One time he me backstage. Unreal, what it takes to set up a concert. I mean concert. Not an outdoor concert. BUT CONCERTS!! No, he wasn't a roadie either. He was highter up on the food chain than a roadie. He was a master trouble shooter. When things didn't hook up, he was always able to figure out what when to what. All the chords and electrical. You woundn't think about it but there really is a skill involved with all of that.

This brought back memory lane for me. Thank you Narc.

NarcNobbler · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 341

Glad you enjoyed.

Sorry for the delay my nuts resurfaced, I'm ignoring.

Narc.
_________________
"You become what you Hate"

God loves a trier, but I can take a hint!