Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

smith01285 · member Joined: 31 May 2008 Posts: 12

growing up, i was trained to say that everything was going well. that my mother was a good mother and raised us 2 kids by herself. (my father died before i was born and she made it known). but something was missing. it never seemed right. it never really felt normal.

to be honest, i hate my mother. she was and still is a manipulative, self centered, over bearing, blaming, over emotional child.

always making me out to be the bad guy. then when i did something wrong, "i raised you by myself with no help..."
blah blah blah. it wasnt my fault your life didnt go according to plan. over here trying to get credit for something a mother should be doing anyway. always talking about jehovah this and christian that. always turning on this facade of a good mother when in public.
i couldnt imagine what kind of mother would call their daughter a failure talking to relatives on the phone RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER FACE. called me a bitch in my own home then tried to fight me then had the balls to say NO when i told her to leave. then had the nerve to steal money from my account out of spite cause i told her to leave and called the police. i got an apartment with her and she forges my name to get herself off the lease. i was trying to move in with my boyfriend and got stuck with on this lease because of her. then she tells me not to pursue a case against the apartment complex to protect her own ass. i was the one who helped her and worked for her and didnt get paid for all the work i did and i was treated like a dog. but she can tell her friends how lucky she is to have me working there. ha, coulda fooled me. (she lost the business by the way and she deserved it cause she was nothing but unappreciative to her employees). and then i confront her and she DENIES EVERYTHING.

to be honest, i dont want a relationship. but its easier said than done. its not like a boyfriend of friend. i share blood and family with her. plus the fact that she gets all hysterical and teary eyed when you say anything other than how she wants you to view her. plus she calls my friends to get a hold of me. i swear i can just beat her senseless. but of course she will just become the victim. and me the horrible delinquent child.

lynn1234 · member Joined: 14 Aug 2007 Posts: 769

Hi Smith...
I can understand where your anger comes from having an NM of my own!!!.. It is very frustrating dealing with them and for me every time I let my guard down my NM takes advantage of me and hurts me in some way which makes me angrier.. I think most of us have given our N parents a million and one chances to change at get it right.. only to become frustrated with the realization that the N can't and won't change.. The list of things my NM has done to me is similar to your story.. My NM would call my sister and I a B**** for no apparent reason.. fly of the handle in rage at the drop of a hat, my NM also stole from me... not money but jewelry.. when my husband was about to shake her down to find it (since he was smart enough to realize that if anything disappeared it would be her doing) She realized she couldn't get away with it and suddenly my jewelry miraculously appeared in her suit-case.. (she was visisting at the time...) My NM would also turn the tables on me and if I stood up for myself she would point out to anyone who would listen to her what a delinquent child I am..

I have been NC with my NM now 3 months.. I couldn't even handle limited contact with my NM and realized I also needed to protect my husband from my NM's ways... all I can say is that NC helps.. I don't know if you have gone NC yet? But going NC for awhile or forever may bring back some peace of mind for you.. It was a gradual process for me of disconnecting from my NM.. It took me about 8 months to do and I am glad I have done it!

thegabrielle77 · member Joined: 19 Oct 2007 Posts: 315

smith01285,

hugs to you.

Am sorry you are going through this and can really empathize with you.

It is hard when family members are toxic for us. Not sure if you are but would suggest going and talking with a professional, therepists have the tools we need to help us with abusive situations.

Do understand all your feeling s but stating you could stab your mother in the neck with a pencil and later say you could beat her senseless.

This anger is not good, talking violence is NOT GOOD FOR YOU.

Do you wantt o wind up in jail?

PLEASE GET AWAY FROM YOUR MOTHER, SHE IS ONLY CAUSING YOU STRESS AND ANGER...GO NC...CALL THE COPS...LET THE PROFESSIONALS TAKE CARE OF THIS.

Hugs
Gabs
WOULD STRON
_________________

bobcatpaw · member Joined: 21 May 2008 Posts: 21

Sounds like my sister, And its not much better haveing a sister who is an N...especly when she wont get the blonk out of you life and still insists on holding onto grudges from before puberty....But no matter

Take care of your self. In general i have found that if my sister trys to prevent me from doing something. It is to protect her own patookus. That being said she esclated to useing family members (includeing her own kids) as a shield of sorts...But in the situation with the lease. Forgery is Forgery. You can fight that. And with her haveing established a patern of abuse you can explain away why it took so long to act.

Just food for thought, but remember if she got away with it one time and you let her. In her own mind she views that she is permitted, alowed, encoruged. and by gosh it is her bloody right to be able to use your name on paper work. After all she brought you into this world raised you bla bla lba.....