Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Tearlet · member Joined: 31 Mar 2008 Posts: 29

I had this dream 2 nights ago & it is sticking with me throughout the day.

MY DREAM:

My NM mother is staying with me and for some reason I have a vat of sugar in the garage. It is set on like a hot dog stand type table & a bit of sugar is in a silver container you'd see at a restarant 'make table.' Everytime we need sugar we need to go out into the garage to get it. I know recenlty my mom & DS (age 6) had retreived some sugar. Then I'm in the garage with both my DS & my mother & see the cover of the sugar was not replaced. I step over & look in and see thick, black spiders crawling around in the sugar.

I'm angry at my mother for not replacing the cover & she tries to blame my 6yo for it (even though she should have been helping him get the sugar & it should have been her responsibility to make sure it was all taken care of). So I shove the sugar towards her & tell her to get rid of the spiders.

My mother then pours the sugar onto the floor & as the spiders run they become larger & grow great big yellow armors on their back & now we think of them as cockroaches.

I run to my door to guard it & try to stomp the cockroaches before they enter my home, but these yellow armors they hold on their back (and by this time they are about the size of the palm of my hand) make it impossible to control. Then I have the thick, black spider version of them crawling up my legs by the thousands & thus the end of my dream.

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I've looked up the following on Dream Moods....

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SUGAR:
To see or eat sugar in your dream, signifies that pleasures and enjoyment that you are denying yourself in your life. You need to indulge yourself sometimes and forget about the consequences.

VAT:
To see a vat in your dream, denotes sorrow, grief, and unfaithfulness.

SPIDER:
To see a spider in your dream, indicates that you are feeling like an outsider in some situation. Or that you may want to keep your distance and stay away from an alluring and tempting situation. The spider is also symbolic of feminine power. Alternatively, a spider may refer to a powerful force protecting you against your self-destructive behavior.

COCKROACH:
To see a cockroach in your dream, signifies your need for renewal, rejuvenation and self-cleansing of your psychological, emotional, or spiritual being. You need to reevaluate major aspects of your life.

ROACH:
To see roaches in your dream, represents an undesirable aspect of yourself in which you need to confront.

YELLOW:
The color yellow has both positive and negative connotations. If the dream is a pleasant one, then the color yellow is symbolic of intellect, energy, agility, happiness, harmony, and wisdom. On the other hand, if the dream is an unpleasant one, then the color represents cowardice and sickness. You may have a fear or an inability to make a decision or take action. As a result, you are experiencing many setbacks.

ARMOR:
To dream that you are wearing an armor, symbolizes your defense mechanisms and your ways of shielding yourself from things that may hurt you.

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I can see all the symbolisms above, but I'm not really sure what the dream it trying to tell me exactly.

justmee · member Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 691

I am not sure what it all means but egads....that is one scary dream.

justmee
_________________
If you can not deal with it, or change it, then its time to walk away from it.

thegabrielle77 · member Joined: 19 Oct 2007 Posts: 315

Tearlet,

big hugs to you.

Am not a professional or an expert but I do know that our dreams usually signify us working stuff out subconsciously.

Think that your dream was just like your life, your NM putting the blame, shame and guilt on you. And when you confronted her in your dream what did she do? Well her inner child, the hurt little girl that she is, did not like what you were saying to her so she puts the blame back on you and your 6yr old. you stood your ground, held to your boundaries and as any N will do she didn't like it so she reverst but to her hurt little inner child and throws a tantrum, she pours the sugar on the floor, cause a mess and also causing the spiders to crawl all over the place. and then the spiders, they turn into cocckroaches, well cocckroaches I know about, LOL, grew up in Florida, they are the nasitiest little buggers in the world and they say coackroaches can survive a nuclear bomb.

Think that when you say you tried to fend off the cockroaches and spiders and tried to keep them from entering your house this is again you in life trying to set and hold your boundaries, The spiders and the cockroaches symbolize your NM, her trying to stomp on your boundaries and you trying to keep them out.

Just my thoughts

Hugs,
Gabs
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thayilflies · member Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 520

Wow! That is an interesting dream.

Tearlet · member Joined: 31 Mar 2008 Posts: 29

Boundaries ... wow, didn't think of it that way. It makes a lot of sense. I have been resetting my boundaries with my mother recently. I have come to understand I simply cannot speak of my sisters when I talk to my mom. Not in kindness, not in concern, not in any way.

Never in a million years had I thought my mother, while living on the other side of the world, could continue to create the amount of havoc she's been able to create. Her time as a foreign teacher is coming to an end, she has reached an age they'll no longer allow her to live this dream. Now she needs to start remaking her bed on her home soil. She needs to make sure she regains the control she once had. This evil woman is doing what she can to destroy my youngest sister, to make her weak and in desperate need of my mother. This means taking away her relationship with her sisters & her husband.

Now that I understand the rules of the game, I will no longer be a pawn. But it's hard to ward against cheating.

zanderman1 · member Joined: 01 Aug 2007 Posts: 474

Wow, what a dream! It reminds me of a dream I had when I was very small which I have never forgotten, of being paralyzed & eaten by a spider who was talking to me the whole time and telling me it didn't hurt. And I realized (in the dream) that it didn't hurt physically but that didn't diminish the horror that I was in fact being eaten alive. Which pretty much sums up the following 5-decade relationship with my NM. Rolling Eyes

Tearlet · member Joined: 31 Mar 2008 Posts: 29

EEeek!

"The spider is also symbolic of feminine power..."

So it was feminine power devouring you. It was a way to let you know you were being abused w/o sight scars. Eaten away, day by day by day.

What a horrific dream for a child.

zanderman1 · member Joined: 01 Aug 2007 Posts: 474

Especially when you don't really wake up from it until 45+ years have gone by. But it takes what it takes, I guess.

Congratulations for the clarity that your dream and the group's feedback seems to have brought.

lynn1234 · member Joined: 14 Aug 2007 Posts: 769

Tearlet...sounds like you are in touch with what your subconcious is telling you....I think our fears come out in our dreams...
I also had a bad nightmare about my NM which I posted about several months ago.. I doubt I will ever forget this dream..
I had a dream that I was shareing a bed with my sister ( something I have never litterally done) anyway... snakes were coming into our room and kept coming to the side of the bed where my sister was sleeping.. I was on high allert and somehow I would wake up every time one came close enough to bite her and then I would wake her up and sit up in bed and scream scareing the snake away... then the snake would turn around and go into a room next door to us.. This happened about 6 times.. Finally my NM heard me screame and came to the doorway of our room.. I got up and started telling her about the snakes thinking she would protect me.. But then I looked down and noticed these venomous snakes were at her feet and coming from out of her room... The scariest part about the dream was realizing that she had sent them into the room to bite my sister who was sleeping and if I had fallen asleep I would have been bitten too... I looked in horror into her room and saw all kinds of snakes that wouldn't bite her and were serving her...
Freaky and scarry!!!!

lynn1234 · member Joined: 14 Aug 2007 Posts: 769

also in this dream my mother could look at a snake and they could telepathically communicate her orders to go into the room and bite my sister and I..Like, my mother could look at the snake and the snake would look at her and do whatever she wanted it to do... There was such a weird close bond with her and the snakes that I felt in the dream that it really disturbed me when I woke up..It also reminded me that my mother is out to harm my sister and I and I better watch out!!

zanderman1 · member Joined: 01 Aug 2007 Posts: 474

I think snakes and spiders are apt metaphors for our NMs. Snakes hiding in the grass, under rocks, porches & things, and you don't know they are there until you're bit. Spiders, oh, they can weave the most exquisite webs -- such silky, symmetrical perfection -- and then, GOTCHA!! But the similarity ends when you remember that snakes and spiders actually serve useful functions in their ecospheres. Maybe cockroaches is a better fit . . . oh, don't mind me, I'm just philosophizing Rolling Eyes

tattooedscarlett · member Joined: 03 Apr 2008 Posts: 43

im going to pm you . . .

tattooedscarlett · member Joined: 03 Apr 2008 Posts: 43

lynn1234 · member Joined: 14 Aug 2007 Posts: 769

Zanderman.. I agree with you about the spider and snake thing! I think cocroaches is a good analogy too.. Maybe a dangerous Amazon cocroach..I hate to say this but my NM actually calls some people cocroaches as a deragatory name... Crying or Very sad

Maybe it would be fitting for her to live with a name she calls other people......

I think a black widow spider is a good one too.. Isn't that a spider that eats the males or it's babies??? something like that? Anyway they are poisonous spiders...fitting for an N...?