Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

americanwoman · member Joined: 10 May 2008 Posts: 7

I have been through the whole bit, as portrayed in so many of the personal stories on this board. It is especially sad to read how people are still going through the emotional pain of losing someone that filled their life with so much good, then so much bad.

My best therapy was talking to my husband's 2nd wife. I was quite fortunate and already knew her a bit and assumed we could talk to each other like rational human beings. It worked. I phoned her 2 days after my husband left me for another woman. I was in tears and beyond help, or so i thought. I couldn't stand being in the house without my husband and would have given anything to have him back - even though he made life hell on earth. She asked me to come right over cause she was worried about me. Thank god! someone who really cares.

we compared notes and got through a lot of issues together - finding out all the lies, deceit and hypocrasy. She still had a lot of unresolved feelings for my husband, and was quite happy to talk it all out. We discovered that all the things my husband claims women did to him (cheating, financial issues, emotional abuse) he actually did to all of them. Me and this woman speak each day no matter how early or late it is, she has become one of my best friends ever. She is finally completely over him and feels like a new woman, so do I. I have NO desire to have him back ever, and it is only 2 months since he left me. A weight has been lifted and I feel like dancing.

My advice to those who cannot not get past the pain is to contact an ex - find the most reliable, honest and emotionally balanced one and talk, really talk. My life is different because of doing this.

good luck to all of you! xx

Shania73 · member Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 62

Your very fortunate to have an ex to talk to.

I am the first wife in my situation, I have had one other girlfriend of my N phone me since our split, we had an hour long talk. Her first words were "IS there something I should know about him?" She kept asking me "Do you want him back, if so I will step out of the picture"

I was all HUH????

I have since learned he plays women off each other, hes busy telling all his relationships past that I was a cheater, want all his money, and he also tells them Im jealous of their new girlfriend and want him back?! lol

He has had a gf now for several years, this one has been the worst. She emails me, leaves me voices mails, I have even had a temp restraining order for my kids, oh I could go on and on. Anyways, she believes everything N says and then trys to attack me and defend him. (Ive spoken to her maybe 3 times in 3 yrs and very briefly) She doesnt know me really. I have had to block her, she went thru a work acct to chew me out also.

Shes just not open to hearing the truth, so I just ignore. I do feel bad for her in some ways but know she must be mentally in a really bad place to do all the things she is doing. But know should the day come where she wakes up and REALLY wants to talk to me I would be there for her.

smith01285 · member Joined: 31 May 2008 Posts: 12

comfort in the ex girlfriend huh??
thats pretty cool...
wouldnt expect that one...