Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

limited · Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Posts: 47

I wasn't really thinking of "talking positively about myself" (even though that could be part of affirmations?) but of trying to see life, words and events through a lens of normality instead of one of narcissistic distortion. That would also lead you to see yourself in a more benign light. As in loving and accepting yourself. Aren't we all to some degree responding emotionally to our own thoughts?
Being aware of your thoughts, practicing detachment from toxic words/thoughts ( from self or others) and trying to live in the moment all seem to be great goals and tools to free yourself. But are these goals incompatible with thinking?

thayilflies · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 488

"Being able to observe one's thoughts so that we can see that our thoughts are not us is very helpful. It is calming because we are also practicing detatchment -- not to be so caught up, or enmeshed with negative thoughts. This is a similar exercise as practicing detatchment around negative people. We disengage from their babble -- just as we disengage from the negative "chatter" within by observing it as a thought, or as chatter. We step back. It is calming."

Exactly! Detachment.

"2. The origin of suffering is attachment.

The origin of suffering is attachment to transient things and the ignorance thereof. Transient things do not only include the physical objects that surround us, but also ideas, and -in a greater sense- all objects of our perception. Ignorance is the lack of understanding of how our mind is attached to impermanent things. The reasons for suffering are desire, passion, ardour, pursuit of wealth and prestige, striving for fame and popularity, or in short: craving and clinging. Because the objects of our attachment are transient, their loss is inevitable, thus suffering will necessarily follow. Objects of attachment also include the idea of a "self" which is a delusion, because there is no abiding self. What we call "self" is just an imagined entity, and we are merely a part of the ceaseless becoming of the universe." http://www.thebigview.com/buddhism/fourtruths.html#truth2

"It's also a laudable goal to be content in the moment with where we are at -- with sadness, or whatever we are feeling. That is the hard part -- not wanting to "fix" our negative feelings. Being able to sit with them. I am very sad right now about some professional-career dissapointments and humiliation. It's hard being in the thick of the sadness. But it is there -- no denying it."

Acceptance. Two key principles here: detachment and acceptance. Don't forget 'em!

"I think very few people reach a Buddha like enlightenment. Even when you can eliminate thoughts during meditation, you have still a mind that thinks and interprets situations, conversations, events during the rest of the time. As good as it probably is to just "be", most of us will continue to have thoughts."

This is true. But are you a prisoner of thought, or are you liberated from the prison of thought?

"The question is what kind of thoughts...substituting a negative and distorted interpretation of events that places us as the cause of the negative event itself, or uses the event as a confirmation of negative traits we have, with one more realistic and plausible that actually uses a rational interpretations of facts that allows us to perceive ourselves positively (or at least neutrally)."

Any interpretation is a distorted one. If you are truly awake there is no interpretation just one reality! Idea

"Phew..long sentence, I hope I was not confusing. Anyway, I am not saying this method is better then the one you are talking about, I just can wrap my head around this one better!"

Go with what works.

"I wasn't really thinking of "talking positively about myself" (even though that could be part of affirmations?) but of trying to see life, words and events through a lens of normality instead of one of narcissistic distortion. That would also lead you to see yourself in a more benign light. As in loving and accepting yourself. Aren't we all to some degree responding emotionally to our own thoughts?"

Why view the world through a lens when the resolution is better without one?

"Being aware of your thoughts, practicing detachment from toxic words/thoughts ( from self or others) and trying to live in the moment all seem to be great goals and tools to free yourself. But are these goals incompatible with thinking?"

No. You still utilise thought but instead of the tail wagging the dog, the dog is wagging the tail. Why carry around the burden of thought when you don't have to? Use it when necessary then put it away and return to the here and now. Are you a prisoner of thought or are you liberated from the prison of thought?

zanderman1 · Joined: 01 Aug 2007 Posts: 397

Our minds are wonderful tools. So are hammers. But not always the most appropriate tool for the job.

thayilflies · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 488

"Our minds are wonderful tools. So are hammers. But not always the most appropriate tool for the job."

Everything in it's right place.

What is the purpose of sin? Deliverance? What is the purpose of being lost? To be found?

If I am being too cryptic I apologise. The point is that pain delivers joy! It is only in hindsight that you see it. For hindsight you have to wait.

Are you a prisoner of thought or are you liberated from the prison of thought?

What if one entered the space between one thought and the next? What if one severed the train of thought and entered the canvas behind?