Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

1ablueprincess · Joined: 07 Oct 2007 Posts: 195

S 15 is still afraid of N but because N abandoned S for several years, S finally agreed to take unsupervised visitation with N just so he could know his dad. S 15 has been having daytime visits for 8 months now and is starting to talk about overnights, though when it comes down to it he does not take the overnights offered. S always takes a cell phone on the visits in case he wants to get away. S lost his own phone and had to take mine today. My text messages were maxed out at about 60 and N has the nerve to ERASE them ALL!!!! Then N told S that I could sue him!!!!!!!!! And to make it worse my grandma died a couple of days ago and I wanted to do a trade on weekends to go be with my family but N would not trade the days!! I swear I HATE that A$$hole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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survivor

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 907

Blue,

I,m sorry abut your Grandmother passing away-Can you just take the kids with you when you visit your family?They would probably be happy to see them.
When my Grandmother passed away, I was living in Hawaii, and all my kids were still vey close to her, yet the N used the excuse he did not have the money(bs he visited his family all the time) so I had to fly alone to her funeral even though the kids were crying and begging to go.

You know the more time S-15 spends with N, the more N will alienate him, that is what happened here but S-15 will be 16 soon and all I can say is at least your son is older now and it won't go on much longer.

Your N sounds like mine-a total jerk, just out for revenge and punishment and determined to keep dragging the process on forever (custody).S-5 is the youngest right?

Sorry all this is happening to you,
Summer

1ablueprincess · Joined: 07 Oct 2007 Posts: 195

Summer, thank you for your sympathy about my grandma. The kids and I are leaving today and will be back on Thurs. My S is involved with sports and is turning into his dad in a lot of ways, he was FAR from begging and crying to go...... long story there too. BUT S15 told N he should not be erasing my messages, so that is a positive thing (maybe there is still hope)!! S has been getting alienated more and more, but also he IS getting to know his dad too! For instance, my daughter turns 18 in January and N has told S on multiple occassions that I sold her to the state and when she is 18 they are coming to take her away, poor S actually came home in tears asking how I could do such a thing. Anyway I told S to just wait and he will see because D turns 18 pretty soon. I also tried to explain you cant sell a person and that they did that in the slavery days but that is long gone, of course S does not want to believe his own father would lie to him and especially about something like that. S is getting older and his eyes are getting wider, unfortunately I have found that I dont always play by the proper rules and when N does something crazy and over the top I react without thinking or knowing what I am doing is wrong and it ends up putting S in the middle. I have been told by multiple professionals over the years that I will FOREVER be an object of abuse to the N, when he had supervised visitation and abandoned S for so many years we did fine...... but now with unsupervised visitations and the garbage N is pulling with S I am finding my own self reacting in inappropriate ways and although it kills me to say it, since I am going to forever be abused by this creep and I dont always react right and my S gets put in the middle..... maybe the KA was right and alternative home would be the best for S15. I am in a crooked court anyway and the normal methods of dealing with problems like this are never going to happen in my case and the law does not apply here (unless I have about another $50,000 and over a years time and took it to a court of appeal, which at 15 under the circumstances I am not going to do).
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survivor