Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 876

This is just great;

N emails a LONG tirade explaining he NO longer has any funds to pay me support starting June 1st (the next payment due).
Also the same day my rent is due.

WTH was he doing gambling, vacationaing, buying toys, new expensive teeth and several vehicles for then?Oh and all new name brand"skater boy" clothes for himself?

I guess N doesn't have any idea that we are almost certain he already has taken funds out of the 401k, after all he did pay the IRS 30 grand in taxes for 2007, the year he did not recieve any income, so it obviously came out of the 401k.

So far I am ignoring this email because if I respond right now, I can not control myself from cursing the N out or saying something I will surely be sorry for later.
The next court date is rescheduled and continued until JULY 17th due to the N refusing to disclose his financials that we subpeoned.

Any advice?

Summer

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 876

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vmm · Joined: 07 Aug 2007 Posts: 175

When did your attny get the QDRO? When did your attny send you your copy of the QDRO?

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 876

He hasn't recieved anything yet.

dagna · Joined: 18 Apr 2007 Posts: 493

So Mr. Horse-teeth can't keep up with his payments? The poor dear...

I would take the email straight to your lawyer.

Does he make the payments directly to you, or is there an intermediary?

N emailed me saying that he didn't think he would be able to provide as much child support for the kids now that he is quitting his job and getting married (the poor dear...). Our CS goes through the state so I was able to kindly 'explain' to him that the state sets the support, and all of the money goes through them so if he felt there needed to be an adjustment, he would go through them. Then I gave him the web link.

He backed off right away. Said he didn't mean that he wouldn't be able to pay the support, he just meant he wouldn't be able to pay extra (which makes no sense because he wasn't paying extra anyway). It was VERY amusing. Of course the N here is terrified of court and laws and lawyers, so I was able to use that to my advantage, at least temporarily.
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Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 876

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Shania73 · Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 46

Hey there,
Id love to be the bearer of wonderful news, but mine doesnt feel he has to pay, he is in over $30,000 in arrears and constantly violates court orders, we chase him from job to job with wage garnishments, you can also go to the state agency and I recommend you do so, even if hes doing a direct deposit to your bank you still want to file with them, they will keep track of everything and have it logged in should you ever have to go to court you have them tracking it and not just you.

I have had to learn to live without it and when I get it consider it an extra.

1ablueprincess · Joined: 07 Oct 2007 Posts: 195

Ive been doing divorce stuff with my N for 5 years now and have had to do about half of it pro per, the other half cost $60,000.00 Anyway, I think I read an Insurance law that if you have a judgment against someone you can make them take out life insurance with you as the benefiiary Laughing

It might be the only way to get these creeps to honor their debts to us....... Wink

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survivor

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 876

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Shania73 · Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 46

Summer,

You asked if there is anything I can do? Well yeah I pay an $8000 retainer fee just to get it started to go after him for contempt and he could "possibly" get 30 days in jail.

And $8000 is just the retainer fee, and what will that accomplish, I live in a state and county of a high number of child support cases and not enough case workers to handle the load of it and enforcement is a joke, they are starting to crack down more and I guarantee you mine will appear on a most wanted deadbeat site before you know it.

He doesnt have any assets to go after which most attnys I speak to want to know "Does he have a house, vehicles, money, a rich relative who will bail him out, etc" he doesnt have any of these.

So we pretty much just chase him from job to job. Hes currently evading support services, not responding or coming in to speak to them, hes moved 3 times as of recent and left this county and moved to a gated community. (I suspect to hide from being served) He is also driving on a suspended license but has yet to be pulled over (Im told if hes pulled over in my county its a felony charge, but not in the county hes living in)

Yet mine still shows up every other weekend for visitation.

Right now hes in contempt of court for failure to pay my legal fees from over 2 yrs ago and they are also after him legally for that. (the last time I went in to try and enforce child support it cost me $8000 in legal fees and he was ordered to pay half, he paid a few hundred dollars then stopped)

Yeah I can take him to court, but for what? Hes a narc. He just blows up and gets worse and plays every diversion game in the book in the court room. I just read the book "The Gift of Fear" on people like this and the court system, he views it as Humilation and REjection when I take him to court and he gets worse and starts up custody issues and problems with the children, sabotage, manipulation, hes nasty plain and simple. So the less involvement I have the better.

I have a case with child support services, I go in often and have them review and they run his social sec # and they can find employers, bank accts, etc.

He cannot get a business license, he cant get a passport, all of his tax refunds are intercepted(Ive only gotten one so far a few yrs ago) I think that upset him that I got it so he hasnt file taxes since, Im hoping the stimulus payments this year got him to file, but they will intercept it and send it to me.

Mine is a walking tornado,,, Im just wanting him to get out of lives and leave us alone at this point.

The support arrears will remain, he cant remove it, he cant file bankruptcy and be excused, no matter what he does, they will attach, I might not see it till he collects retirement, social security or disability, but I will get it eventually.