Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 908

My paralegal just emailed me because she can not get N,s lawyer to respond to her calls about setting a date and going to a settlement conference before the trial NEXT Thursday(which n and his lawyer swore to the Judge we would do at the last court hearing)--and because N has NOT submitted any of the subpeoned financial records as of yet--which we NEED at Trial Thursday!All subpeonas have to be issued in connection with a hearing (trial)

My paralegal said she is asking for a continuence until June and she is subpeoning MORE records now too (taxes 2007), she had to wait until N filed them,, oh and more documents from N's employer,due to the incomplete vocational evaluators report,,, becuase we can NOT divide anything without the information N is refusing to give up,or maybe the n and his lawyer are hoping we do, maybe they think we are that insane.We'll just divide all asests/accounts based on hearsay, whatever n says.so far that's worked for him with other investigators.

Paralegal also informed me she found out N IS taking money out of the 401K and she is filing a motion to "join the 401K to STOP N from taking another dime",,,I am not sure what that means,*joining*- waiting for an answer..

My paralegal apologized for this case stalling again but honestly I told her that I would rather wait a little longer (June)UNTIL we get all the financial documents and facts, or I could end up with nothing , like n is hoping.

Also, she said my Attorney wants more time (June) because he is unhappy with the Vocatoinal Evaluators Report,wants to argue it, stating it did not do us any justice, since N LIED about his income and the VE wrote a report based on hearsay without investgating the FACTS, like producing a simple paystub or tax transcript, to PROVE N,s REAL income.What is up with that!!

It makes me wonder-is N that good that he can con and fool so many of these court "proffessionals" to the point they are so mezmerized with N that they feel no need to even look into the facts!!!
Someone please tell me how the N manages to get away with such a thing??

N's lawyer is ignoring our requests to continue,ignoring our requests to even attend a settlement conference beofre trial,, not even returning calls to my Attorney in hopes that we just go to the trial next week without any financial documents ,or possible settlement,,and we just rely on N,s word.evidence.
Is it that thrilling to N? Running up his own legal bills, wasting time and energy in court and with his lawyer??I have almost complete NC with him and the rare times we have contact I am calm and normal and happy and do not react at all to him, so he never sees me upset, so what is he getting out of this, when he doesn't see any reaction from me ever?I just don't get it.

I just can not stand the N and his lawyer for a second longer.

How is it that the N and his lawyer control so much of the legal system with all of these neverending criminal like games they continue to play??
Why am I even the least bit surprized this is even happening yet again?
Guilty as charged!-me!-for having malignant optimism again!Guilty! for having faith and hope. Someone please pinch me so I can wake up out of this nightmare.

Summer

livedthroughit · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 968

Summer,

I can completely relate to your post and I suspect many others on the forum will too! I will say this -- I know there are professionals out there that don't care whether they do their job right and there are professionals out there who can be easily duped by Ns. I can also say that it is our job to demand accountability, at least with those professionals we are paying ourselves. I can also honestly say that in my case, I got very lucky and ran across a great attorney to take my case that was assertive, knew what she was doing, and she wanted to win. I also ended up with a case manager who saw through the N and cared more about my d than anything else. I also caught a huge break and went in front of a couple of better judges.

I only mention my luck here to let those of you who are frustrated with the legal system that there are some good professionals out there.

livedthroughit · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 968

Oh, forgot to mention that my attorney has always been very selective about what professionals were brought into the case. If it is something where we could request a certain person, she was careful about the choice. We even waited an extended period of time just to get into this particular case manager because my attorney said it would be worth the wait. If we couldn't just pick the professional, my attorney has still given her opinion to the judge about who she wanted and why, and fortunately that's worked as well. The case manager was also very picky -- when it came time for exN's psych evaluation, she gave him two choices of who could do the evaluation. She told us she wanted to make sure the evaluator knew what they were doing.

vmm · Joined: 07 Aug 2007 Posts: 185

Do you have the copies of all the contempt charges your attny filed with the court?

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 908

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vmm · Joined: 07 Aug 2007 Posts: 185

I thought the judge said no mor continuances.

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 908

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vmm · Joined: 07 Aug 2007 Posts: 185

What did you decide to do on the house?

What if you prepare based on the thought that N and his attny do not agree to the continuance and you will be before the judge on the planned date? I'm not sure they have to agree to continuance. Would your attny be prepared to argue for you?

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 908

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vmm · Joined: 07 Aug 2007 Posts: 185

So if N tries to say that your attny would not meet, you have the email from pl. It might even be better if pl sent you copies of the letters that your attny sent to Ns attny requesting the setlm conf. Also if Ns attny sent any letters to yours trying to set up dates. Then there would be no dobt. You save all the emails right. Maybe print pl emails and put in offsite safe place. Mail to a friend or relative.

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 908

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vmm · Joined: 07 Aug 2007 Posts: 185

I thought your attny told you he filed contempt several times.

My judge did not read the case at all, and was ready to give everything to N. I mean everything, because N phrased everything "oh poor me". Your N can say "oh poor me and S".

the contempt charges highlight the record in hte docket htat you are trying to settle and N is not. In my case, the contempt filings would have actually saved me a ton of money, as N used the withhold to make me meet with my attny nore, and Then when my attny left town for a week, N conned the assitant attny into signing out of escrow all our bank accounts(long story)

That last line was what I was refering to.. no more delays on trial.

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 908

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mollydog · Joined: 08 May 2008 Posts: 59 Location: Pennsylvania

Summer-

After reading your past messages, I can't believe how similar our cases are. N just love drama and attention, cause scenes and love to push your buttons. At least mine did, and I let him until I got wise to him. So many times, I ask myself,"am I doing the right things for my children"? My pastor advised me years ago to hire a good attorney to protect me and don't get caught up with the attorney and cost. Well, the way this is headed, I've done the exact opposite. He said it was because this is what the N wants, the drama and the fight and don't give it to him. His advice to me was to just get on with your life. I now have the local magistrate, school counsellors, the Courts and possibily CYS involved. I don't know where this may be headed, but I do know my children need help and need to get away from this monster in disguise.

Financially, the N has been planning this divorce for years. I have recently learned that the N has been gradually taking distributions from his 401K, for YEARS and does not want to devulge any of his financial records. Everything is a fight. Ironically, the years that he took large distributions, he electronically filed! Imagine that????? N are very calculating, at least he is.

If you met this N, I know you would be fooled. The evaluator order through Court was. How??? How could this be?? He is a professional who is trained to radar in on this disorder, well, he recommended custody to the N, until I ripped apart his evaluation. Everyone the N comes in contact with thinks he is a loyal, honest, kind man, especially at our church. Behind closed doors, I know differently and so do my S and D, but it is going to take time and patience. It is frightened to know how many man out there are like this. Evil, they are just evil to put this type of pressure on their own children and to use them as pawns in a divorce.

My advice, don't let a N get away with ANYTHING, stand up to this devil, especially when it comes to your children, I AM!!!!!!!!!

Molly

Stand4Change · Joined: 09 May 2008 Posts: 67

Molly,

How did you rip apart the evaluation?