Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

withall1sheart · Joined: 16 Apr 2007 Posts: 33

I made a mistake, I think, but I texted the XNH about this weekend and if he was picking up our children...something quite simple. I only asked because I'm trying to get things together for my oldest son's graduation party and XNH taking our children would be a great help to me.

Anyways, he texted back and stated, he didn't ask, that he was coming earlier then what is usually court ordered I said fine and that I would have them ready. Then I proceeded text him about their food allergies and S being potty trained now since he's only seen them but once this calendar year.

So now he texted back asking questions about where our children are going to be in the am and I'm thinking what does matter since he already demanded to pick them up 2 hrs early and I said fine and besides this is the first time he's asked there whereabouts in ((((((3 years))))) never does he ask!

We went to court earlier this week and his luck has run out so he's pissed so I summoned the devil by inquiring about pick up and I thought we had settled on a time but he's pissed.

I decided not to text him back because I can picture this going back and forth because he is enraged....ANY SUGGESTIONS?
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With All One's Heart

knoxy · Joined: 24 Jul 2007 Posts: 865

Expect him at the time he said he was coming, but don't count on it.

Have a list ready for him (i.e. food allergies and emergency contacts).

Document, document, document.

No need to further correspond as he's given you a time already. I wouldn't text him anymore.

Hope that helps, sweetie.

withall1sheart · Joined: 16 Apr 2007 Posts: 33

Thanks Knoxy...I thought by letting him know ahead of time he would have what our children need before he gets them...and you're absoulutely right I am not texting back...he is throwing his temper tantrum because, in fact, this time his luck has run out with the courts... Thanks again.
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With All One's Heart

nemesis · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 534

Another reason why documenting is better, Ns don't like to be told what to do, ever. They just get upset that you think you can inform them of anything at all. If you give them a document they'll read it when they are ready to so that is more effective. Keep communication (even texting) to an absolute minimum, it works better with them.

An N will not pay any attention to your observation about what your child needs usually. He just doesn't care about what you think at all. That has been my experience with N. Best wishes to you, nothing seems reasonable with these people.

withall1sheart · Joined: 16 Apr 2007 Posts: 33

Thanks Nemesis. I've tried sending letters with our children and they get returned when they come back so I don't know if he reads them. ....its sad that I can't even talk to him about our children and their welfare. I just have to ride it out because soon he'll disappear again...
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With All One's Heart

NancyCT · Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1233 Location: Connecticut, USA