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Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group
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Stella Sleepwalks
Joined: 11 May 2008
Posts: 6
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 Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 4:51 pm Post subject: Figuring out my ex's behaviour. |
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My ex blamed the stresses in his life for his behaviour. He was a blame shifter, thought his abusive behaviour was him just being "cheeky", and never let me express myself. If my opinion was different to his he took it as a personal attack, rather than simply just a different point of view. I ended up crying constantly, begging him to calm down, apologising for everything and never resolving anything. If I ever tried to talk things through I was accused of being patronising, and if I shouted he threatened to leave me. He was paranoid that I was going to leave him or let him down because I was his "dream girl - too good to be true", even though I was incredibly romantic and supportive towards him, he would pick something petty out of thin air like wearing trousers instead of a skirt to dinner, and blow things completely out of proportion, insinuating that he "Thought I was a certain type of girl and had let him down...." If I challenged him he would say it was all in my head. I felt like I was constantly walking on egg shells and that I was unappreciated and taken for granted. He never did anything romantic after the first month we were together, although he bragged that he was this very impulsive and spontanious fellow, he worked 7 days a week and studies most nights....it wasn't physically possible for him to be any of those things.
He spends every night studying and cannot sleep as things race through his mind. He often spends hours driving around until he falls asleep and cries about things beyond his control. He is somewhat of a perfectionist, and has criticised the physical and intellectual levels of previous girlfriends. I felt like he was trying to catch me out, and setting me up for failure, nothing I ever did was good enough. He falls out with his friends constantly, (always their fault not his according to him), and his friends all seem to be a lot less intellectual and ambitious than he is......
He ended it when I stood up to him and told him he was a fantasist who needed to wake up to himself that he wasn't treating people with the respect they deserve and as a result people were walking out of his life left right and center, and he told me it was over because I had "insulted him". He also forced me to take the blame for everything that had happened between us. I told him I would only accept half the blame, even though I feel our problems were mainly his.
Is this narcissistic behaviour or GAD? The night we split up he told me I had ripped his heart out and that he was gutted. I know narcissists rarely fall in love but I think in some weird way I got under his skin.
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samvaknin
Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 2015
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Stella Sleepwalks
Joined: 11 May 2008
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:57 pm Post subject: |
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Thank you for your post, its very encouraging to know there are people out there who want to help (not to mention listen). 
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