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Telling the Narcissist He Is One

 
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longing4peace



Joined: 06 May 2008
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Tue May 06, 2008 8:21 am    Post subject: Telling the Narcissist He Is One Reply with quote

I am longing to know the experiences of other people who have told the narcissist that he is one.

I want to go out on a ledge and tell my husband that I know he is.

I want to give him a list of all the symptoms and go over them with him.

What do you think he will do?
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Cookie2



Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 1395

PostPosted: Tue May 06, 2008 11:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi and welcome.....After many years on this board I would say he will eventually say the very same things about YOU.....To whomever will listen......and no matter how he would 'seem' to listen and understand believe me this will give him n injury...He'll probably come back at you with a vengence(if he is a true n)An n I once knew I caught her in a few lies and called her on it....told her flat out she was a liar.......All hell broke out......this is seen as n injury.......read thru the links at the bottom of the index page...youll find it......I definantly advise against doing this......It will serve no good purpose.....
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I have a photographic memory....I just don't have same day service.....................Cookie
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samvaknin



Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 2015

PostPosted: Tue May 06, 2008 2:15 pm    Post subject: Narcissists, Disagreement and Criticism Reply with quote

Question:

What is the reaction of a narcissist likely to be when confronted with your texts or book?

Answer:

It takes a major life crisis to force the narcissist to face up to his False Self: a painful breakdown of a close (symbiotic) relationship, a failure (in business, in a career, in the pursuit of a goal), the death of a parent, imprisonment, or a disease.

Under normal circumstances, the narcissist denies that he is one (denial defence mechanism) and reacts with rage to any hint at being so diagnosed. The narcissist employs a host of intricate and interwoven defence mechanisms: intellectualisation, projection, projective identification, splitting, repression and denial (to name but a few) – to sweep his narcissism under the psychological rug.

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq7to9.html

Narcissists, Disagreement and Criticism

http://samvak.tripod.com/criticismdisagreement.html

The Intermittent Explosive Narcissist - Narcissistic Injury and Narcissistic Rage

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal86.html
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Falldowngetup



Joined: 27 Apr 2008
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2008 2:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think it is a bad idea to tell him.

I even gently asked h do you think something may be wrong with you, and I admitted what was wrong with me in same conversation.

an UNQUIVOCABLE NO!
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Cookie2



Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 1395

PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2008 4:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi falling down....Welcome to the group......No it's never a good idea to tell them what they are......denial is too strong....and it would NEVER do any good so what would the reason be for doing it? Again I want to welcome you to the group.....
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I have a photographic memory....I just don't have same day service.....................Cookie
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longing4peace



Joined: 06 May 2008
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2008 11:05 pm    Post subject: ok you can all have a good laugh on me Reply with quote

I just keep thinking that maybe he can be the only one that can handle this, and be different.

Sam did it, didn't he????

Go ahead, laugh. I know how stupid I sound.

I won't have the guts to do it. I just like to fantasize.
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thegabrielle77
Site Admin


Joined: 19 Oct 2007
Posts: 436

PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2008 4:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

longing4peace



Quote:
I just keep thinking that maybe he can be the only one that can handle this, and be different.

Sam did it, didn't he????

Go ahead, laugh. I know how stupid I sound.

I won't have the guts to do it. I just like to fantasize.


Why are you fantasizing about it telling the N he is an N? What do you hope to get out of it?

Is it Malignant Hope you? Meaning, are you hoping he will see he is an N and want to change?

Is it satisfication? Meaning you are letting him know that you know that he is an N and he is the bad one?

Is it closure you are looking for?

All the questions I ask have all been felt by victims of N/abusers, so you are not alone.

BUT, you can't change him...he won't change...if he is an N. If he is just a plain toxic person...you can't change...he has to want to change and hon, that is damn hard work and most of the time they don't change...N's never change.

As for satification and closure...you have to do both of those on your own...by going NC! Going NO CONTACT is your way of saying...STOP I WILL NOT ALLOW ANY BAD BEHAVIOR IN MY LIFE.

Know it maybe a fatasy you have but hon, that fantasy has to to go away cause that is all it is a fanatsy.

Hugs
Gabrielle
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Losingher



Joined: 23 May 2008
Posts: 8

PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2008 1:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I confronted someone that I think is an N. He just twisted thingsand said I was a dumb*** and to leave him alone. He discounted anything I said. You can't penetrate them! If you can it must be a slow process! I only try to save my daughter who seems brainwashed by him. It is a losing battle they only give you the time of day if you provide them with something they can use. They are selfish and vindictive. A normal person will not survive them!
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