Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

thayilflies · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 476

"thayilflies, there is one more factor in the mix (besides empathy and reason, I mean). That is my own egoic mind, which stubbornly identifies with an image of me as a kind, loving, helpful, thoughtful and fair person. When my ego fears that the world may not see me that way (and the NM manipulates this, and I've been letting her for decades) then the mind goes into fear-and-defense mode. However, most of this fear of how others "see" me turns out to be just phantom baseless projections into the future. When moments of confrontation come about, I usually find that people understand my situation better than I expected. It's all so stupid, but 5 decades of conditioning and habit keeps it reappearing.

Here's a thought: How could my spiritual journey (or God's plan) be anything but taking the next healthy step--one step at a time, doing the next healthy thing?"

I don't have much to add here, obviously you understand the fallacy of the ego and its progenitor: conditioning. Your ego is your conditioned self, not your true self. The key to liberation is breaking the conditioning which is f'n hard - the ego is stubborn but you have to be stubborn-er!

This is a process, a series of steps to be taken one at a time. All you have to do is ensure that you keep stepping in the right direction. If you are going in the right direction eventually you will reach the destination! Simple. Cool