Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

freenhealing · Joined: 04 May 2008 Posts: 60

I broke up with a severely Narcissistic man about 6 weeks ago after a 9 month relationship. I found out he'd been cheating on me and lying to me throughout our relationship and I just walked away, no explanation.

Well, I relasped about 2 weeks ago, saw him a few times (he'd been making plays for me to get back throughout the break) and sort of fell in to my own magical thinking about the whole deal. Last weekend he "sealed the deal" by finally admitting he WAS cheating throughout but had an entire soliloquy he delivered about how it was all my fault. I wasn't "giving" enough in bed (in actuality our entire sex life revolved around me pleasing him with virtually never getting anything in return--well it decompensated in to that over the months). He literally told me he believed my role was to focus 100% of the time on pleasing him, demonstrate that was my only intent, never want an orgasm or anything in return and if I could do that, I could "salvage" our relationship. All in response to discussing the fact he'd been cheating and lying and deceiving me for months.

Well, I was in that trance for about 24 hours, snapped out of it, cut off ALL contact with him and have reconnected with myself, thankful I didn't fully re engage with him. I never said a word, just disappeared. Of course to me this seems very "impolite" but it's pure survival. he will twist anything I say to attack me with it while calling me "hostile" for saying that hurts...I'm sure you all know the drill.

Throughout this week, he's upped the ante, calling and writing daily, asking me to the movies, making a resort reservation for this month and sending it to me asking me to go with him, leaving messages. I've replied to nothing. Not one word, not answered the phone, nothing. Now I'm wondering though if I need to make one clear statement telling him to stop contacting me. Is this necessary or is it ok to just disappear?

I mean obviously he knows my "issues" with him. It's all been put on the table. There is no need for any further "conversation". My friends are telling me to just send him a clear email telling him to stop contacting me. My concern is even that breaks the "no contact" I've had for almost a week now.

Any thoughts or suggestions greatly appreciated on this. I don't want to escalate him further but i want him gone.

thegabrielle77 · Site Admin Joined: 19 Oct 2007 Posts: 251

freenhealing,

Heres some more info on NC....