Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Shania73 · Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 46

I think like most of us, my story is way to long to post here.

Met my N at age 16
Molested me, but I didnt tell anyone, he was 18 and my first sexual partner
Involved in a church and ended up getting married on the scolding of the pastor years later due to premarital sex.

Had 2 children together, he worked in ministry and we were involved in church and he worked outside the church.

In my mid 20s when the internet started to become the IN thing I had an outlet to the outside world and began to learn about how I was living (very controlling environment)

I began to get help and feedback from others on Domestic Violence and standing up for myself. Sought help from a local DV Support group.

Separated after 12 yrs together, I filed for a legal separation, then a divorce, that process took 3 yrs.

Have been apart for 8 yrs now.

Dealt with custody and child support court hearings over the years since, very expensive, abuse thru the court system, has a way to always seem to shift what we are in court for off track, emotionally and financially draining and always seems to make court about ME and putting me on trial when he is the one in violation or contempt.

I have very limited contact with him, he has visitation with the kids, I have drop offs at my parents home, I am not present, contact is via email, or very limited phone calls. I rarely see him in person other then maybe every 5 mos or so if a school or child event presents itself and he is there.

He continues to harrass me with manipulative twisting emails of accusations against me and the way I parent our children.

As a result of the last court round with him we were ordered to take co parenting classes, which nauseated me further and my situation because he quoted lines from class, all the time and misused information and tried to get GROUP meetings with the instructor, setting them up without my consent, has wanted to even do COUNSELING with me to "Help our children" I did counseling in the marriage and he manipulated the sessions so I wont sit thru another one of those again with this man.

His new girlfriend now harrasses me, shes been with him for 2 yrs and every now and then some strange message comes on my voice mail with her ripping me to shreds with how Im hurting her man and what a bad mother I am, or she emails me, I have blocked her and she found my work acct and wrote me reaming me again. I have spoken 2 sentences in the past 2 yrs to this woman in passing and she doesnt even know me?

My N is in serious violation right now with the Govt and Child support, the IRS he owes money too, creditors are calling my home looking for him still, he job hops, most of his jobs he leaves suddenly or gets fired and he has forged signatures, stolen from employers, etc.

He is sexually abusive and I had to deal with a lot of that because he was my first sexual partner and so much of the yuck became normal to me and years and time have had to help undo that.

He seems to try and find anyway to engage, I have taken to just ignoring and was even taken into court with his attny saying "I wont co parent and communicate"

It is a very frustrating situation, I have around 4-6 yrs till both kids are 18 and I will no longer have to deal with him legally regarding our kids, I love my kids and thank god they live with me, but I hate to say I cant wait till they are 18 and I can be done with him in this arena. He is a sick man and I just pray for some peace in my life or that he would move farther way and leave us alone. He has recently moved out of the area which is a new development, he is running from child support and left this county I live in with the kids.

Okay so there is a BRIEF version of my story

ProfZim · Joined: 02 May 2008 Posts: 3

sorry to hear about your experience. I posted my story too, but it was work-related. I'm sure it has to be that much more difficult because it was family/personal. hang in there, seems like a good place here to post your thoughts and get resources. take care.