Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Storm Voyager · Joined: 03 Apr 2008 Posts: 28

Could you guys explain the various abbreviations you use? I know it's easier to write them that way but some of the meanings in the posts are lost on me because I don't know what the abbreviation means.

So, for example, I get what N stands, for, lol

I've gathered the meaning of N-Dipping

I seriously don't get what D & D means.

I don't understand gas lighting or whatever that term is.

So any terminology you can think of would be helpful if you could explain it.

Thank you Very Happy

plink · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 97

As I understand it "D & D" means "devaluing and discarding". A narcissist bases his/her entire identity on the value his "nearest and dearest" reflects upon him. He depends upon your worship of him, to feel good about himself, so he keeps you around. But at the same time he can only feel as worthy as he feels you are. Ironically,ultimately he will resent the power he has given you over his sense of self and need to debase you so he can feel superior and secure again. If he "devalues" you enough so that you start losing your own self esteem, then he "feels" you are too inferior for someone as wonderful as him and he either craves or meets someone he perceives as a newer and "more worthy" partner. And when he has found them, he unceremoniously "discards" you in favor of pursuing this new sense of narcissistic supply, who he thinks will reflect more favorably on him and jack up his own self-image.
"Gaslighting", I think means to keep someone off balance emotionally or mentally so they are at your mercy. I think it came from the Alfred Hitchcock movie, but I may have it backwards. I believe it is the fine art of driving someone crazy by insisting they are not seeing what they are seeing or shouldn't be feeling what they're feeling. It is a common psychological weapon in the narcissist's arsenal, because it has you questioning your own sanity and worth, until you are so unsure of YOUR self that you will never leave them-until they are ready for you to-and then they drop you like you are just a pen that's run out of ink. Because for them, you are and you have.
I hope this helps.
Plink

Storm Voyager · Joined: 03 Apr 2008 Posts: 28

It not only helped me, but it helped me a lot. The definition/explanation was excellent.

Thank you!

plink · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 97

So glad, Storm. You're entirely welcome-