Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Lukky · Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 2411

This a post today by Loux that I think needs to be right up here for us all!!

Thank you Loux!!

I want to share something that I received in email a while back and already posted here once... but will post again with and updated version. ALL are very TRUE statements when it comes to dating:

LOVE LESSONS:

* If you want to have a clue as to how a guy will treat you, watch how he treats the women in his life and those in his past . (past behavior is indicative of future behavior)

* Look for patterns of stability/instability: how many times have they been married? How quickly did they marry? What reasons do they give for getting married? What reasons do they give for past divorces/break ups? How many "crazy" ex's do they have ?(because sometimes, it's NOT everyone else who's 'crazy'), How many close and/or life long friends do they have? Have you met them? What do his friends have to say about him? How expendable are people to him (women, children, friends)??

* Maintain boundaries in how a someone treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

* If a relationship ends because that person was not treating you as you deserve, then hell no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

* If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

* * Someone who says they are in-love with you one day, then dumps you the next IS NOT MENTALLY STABLE. Sure, this is a mixed message, but speaks CLEARLY of their mental / emotional state AND their capacity to truly love on a deep and meaningful level.

* You need time to heal between relationships... there is nothing cute about baggage, deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

* You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals, look for someone complimentary! not supplementary.

* You cannot mend or 'fix' someone else's broken heart or problems, so don't try - even if they ask. Anyone stable would know no one can 'fix' their problems except themselves.

*Don't fall for the "I'm confused" role. Remove yourself from the situation to let them figure things out (but don't wait, move on).

* Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along

* Never believe a guy that tells you he wants to be with you, but 'can't' for whatever reason, - if he wanted to be with you, he would BE WITH YOU.

* DON'T MAKE SOMEONE A PRIORITY, WHEN THEY ONLY MAKE YOU AN OPTION!

* Don't fully commit to someone who won't FULLY commit to you.

* Actions speak louder than words.

* When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions.

* Love is a word and a verb. Anyone can say the word - but can they back up by showing it? And no, hitting you, lying to you, cheating on you, betraying your trust and/or confidence, etc... are not 'showing' love IN ANY CONTEXT. It's abuse, plain and simple.

* Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you.

* Anyone who uses pressure (manipulation) does not care about YOUR comfort or needs; they're only concerned with their own.

* Stop making excuses for a guy and his behavior.

* If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a guy's character, leave him alone.

* Give up the trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.

* If a guy wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

* There's only one 'reason' a guy dumps you; he doesn't want you.

* Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

* The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

* NEVER settle.

* When it's time to let go; let go.

* There is someone out there worthy to be in your life. Let out the trash so he can come in.

big hugs,

loux

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This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine
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'The Best reaction is no reaction'

baby_kay · Joined: 05 Mar 2008 Posts: 197

Amen to that post.
How powerful and true. I am so glad that I read this tonight. What a beautiful remineder of the truth!!!!

Thanks for the post
Baby Kay

purplegirl · Joined: 08 Apr 2007 Posts: 374

Thank You Loux,
PG
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WHEN PEOPLE SHOW YOU WHO THEY ARE
BELIEVE THEM!!!!!!

thegabrielle77 · Joined: 19 Oct 2007 Posts: 408

Alright sister!

Great post!

Thank you
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wakingup · Joined: 30 Mar 2008 Posts: 58

thank u for that post ..i will definetly send it to all my friends!

MommaMia · Joined: 29 Apr 2008 Posts: 3

And here I am, one year after that post, to say
"boy,howdy" what excellent advice ... and I say
this AFTER I read it a while back!

Good advice is like a good friend: they remain true!!

Razz

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Hold Your Head Up