Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

lightinthetunnel · Joined: 21 Mar 2008 Posts: 3

Dr Vankin,

I have been living with a Narcissist for a few years now. I have not been aware of this disorder until I came across Lombroso Cesare's book, the world authority on NPD.

I begin to realise that I am facing pure reactive action with no self awareness. As if she was empty inside, not capable of emotions, empathy, essentially the basis ingredients to maintain a relationship. My suspicion is that she had developed a false ego during her childhood from abuse and neglect and used this fortified EGO for pure survival.

The ability to reach her true "self" requires the destruction of this false and protective ego - essentially a complete demolition of her protection mechanism. No wonder that she is resistant to such change...

It seems that the chances of curing this disorder are very slim. Not to mention the detrimental effect of her behavior on me and others.

We have now reached a point of surrealistic melodrama. My reality is warped. I am mirroring her strange behavior as if I was an inverted Narcissist.

I have noticed little mirror-like protuberant moles developing on my arms. By looking at them closely, I began recognizing my own image on a concave platform, just like an inverted image of myself.

What should I do?

samvaknin · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 2015

My name is Vaknin, not Vankin.

Cesare Lombroso hasn't written a single word about narcissism or NPD because the concept was invented (by Freud) decades later.

Only a qualified mental health diagnostician can determine whether someone suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and this, following lengthy tests and personal interviews.

These may be of help - click on the links:

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/1.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq34.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/npdglance.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq82.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faqpd.html

Healing Narcissism

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq63.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq77.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq70.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq12.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/10.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/case03.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq31.html

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/abusefamily8.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders37.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders45.html

How to Cope with Narcissistic and Psychopathic Abusers

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq4.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily19.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily20.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/npdtips.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/5.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq80.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/4.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq75.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal56.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal68.html

Strategies for Coping with Abusers (General)

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse3.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse17.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse19.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse20.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse21.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse21a.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse21b.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse12.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse13.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse5.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse6.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily13.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily5.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily6.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily8.html

Working with the System and with Professionals

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily10.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily11.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily12.html

How to Cope with Stalkers and Paranoids

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse18.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse15.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse16.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily14.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily16.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily17.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily18.html

The Narcissist's Victims

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq38.html

Victim Reactions to Abuse by Narcissists and Psychopaths

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/personalitydisorders70.html

Mourning the Narcissist

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq68.html

The Three Forms of Closure

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/abuse17.html

Back to La-la Land

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/journal78.html

The Spouse/Mate/Partner of the Narcissist

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq6.html

Divorcing the Narcissist and the Narcissistic Psychopath - How Do I Get Rid
of Him?

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/5.html

Traumas as Social Interactions

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/trauma.html

How Victims are Affected by Abuse

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/abusefamily21.html

How Victims are Affected by Abuse - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/abusefamily22.html

How Victims are Affected by Abuse - Recovery and Healing

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/abusefamily23.html

Rescue Fantasies - Surviving the Narcissist

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq80.html

The Malignant Optimism of the Abused

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/journal27.html

The Inverted Narcissist - Codependence and Relationships with Abusive
Narcissists

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/faq66.html

Codependence and the Dependent Personality Disorder

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/personalitydisorders22.html

The Dependent Patient - A Case Study

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/personalitydisorders56.html

Danse Macabre - Trauma bonding and the Stockholm Syndrome

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/abusefamily.html

The Cult of the Narcissist

http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/journal79.html

Narcissists and Personality disordered Mates, Spouses, and Partners

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/5013

Projection and Projective Identification - Abuser in Denial

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/5002

Approach-Avoidance Repetition Complex and Fear of Intimacy

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/5000

Guilt? What guilt?

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/4931

Narcissists, psychopaths, sex, and marital fidelity

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/4920

The Narcissist or Psychopath Hates your Independence and Personal Autonomy

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/4959

I miss him so much - I want him back!

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/4934