Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

mommybunny1 · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 264 Location: Middle Atlantic

I have been on the ofrums for quite some time. My second husband is a Narcissist with AS tendencies. I have been NC with him for just about two years. He had three troubled children who added to the burden. The oldest is full blown AsPD, the middle one seems to be Borderline and his youngest is more of an Asperger's type. I have had my share of trouble children in my life. I have three grown children of my own who have their own issues, but are doing well.

So now I am dating a lovely man. Truly, he is a sweetheart. There is absolutely NO disconnect between his words and actions. He is stable in his work and life. He is considerate. He listens. He is handy. His first wife is very self centered, but has a bit more conscience than a true NPD. She had an affair which ended his marriage. From that marriage, there is a teenaged daighter. She is 15 years old.

This child has been difficult from birth, from what I am told. She was never affectionate. She was a 'runner' as a small child...very unafraid of strangers and would run off on her own. She is incerdibly socially awkward and has been since she was very young. Although she is intelligent, it is clear that there is something quite wrong. She does had rages and outbursts. She also porposefully says very mean things when frustrated.

The child has recently been diagnosed with NonVerbal Learning Disorder. This seems to be an accurate assessment from the reading that I have done. (She was previously diagnosed as BiPolar and ADD, plus a variety of other things that did not really fit.) She lives primarily with her mother.

Of concern is that she seems to lack a conscience. This has been the case since she was very young. One story that haunts me is the tale about one day when she was about six years old. She had difficulty making friends and so when she hit it off with anouther little girl, the parents decided to make an elaborate play date. They were going with another family to a local waterpark. The girls begged to travel in the same car. This was so nice for the parent's to hear, that they agreed to let their daughter travel with this other family. Apparently, this little girl got into the car and as soon as the car was in motion, the little girl in question turned to her noew friend and said,"Santa Claus????.....Doesn't exist. Totally made up. The Easter Bunny???....nope...made up too. The Tooth fairy???....Nope."

At fifteen, her verbal and action 'bombs' are more sophisticated. I asked her once why she does such things and she told me that she enjoyed watching the chaos that ensues afterwards. The Santa incident reverberated for several days.

She is clearly impared, but what I wonder is that she is a Sociopath in traing. Any comments or observations?

MB
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Mommybunny

GingerMom · Joined: 26 Jul 2007 Posts: 14

Unless you also enjoy the drama, you might want to reconsider your relationship with this girl's father. While it might seem unfair to him, you must first consider the potential for disaster. How much can you handle? Can you smile in the face of insults? For the next 10-20 years, or however long it may take for this girl to grow up? How long will it be before you begin to resent this girl, and it shows? Will the girl's father back you up?

Can you say with certainty that her digs will NEVER interfere with your relationship with her father? Even on a part time basis, a difficult child can wreak havoc, and the more intelligent they are, the worse they can be, especially if their motive is simply to watch the ensuing chaos.