Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

WindSong

Most of you know me, and know that I met the XNPH online. I was just sitting here watching TV and looking at websites and I got to thinking about something.

I did not start out on the internet to get into a romantic relationship. That never crossed my mind. But I was soon introduced to them by three different guys who I got to be penpals with and they brought it up. They talked to me as if they were in love with me or had the hots for me- as one referred how he felt about me. They all wanted to have "cyber sex". I was disturbed about it to say the least, but I loved the attention by men who seemed to be interested in me (had been several years out of my first marriage and I had not dated or had an intimate relationship for those years)I didn't do the cyber sex thing myself but I would type dirty to them (gag) to help them do their "thing". It was the first red flag, but I thought that with all love you to compramise.

But my biggest misconception of the whole thing was- me being overweight and not a "beauty" I had it figured out in my head that this internet thing was brilliant because I could show them my heart and they would fall in love with me and by the time we met, looks wouldn't matter.

I had it figured that being our only option was to talk we would really get to know eachother that way for real. I totally thought that this thing was a true gift, my last and final chance at love in my life. To be able to not have to be alone. I wanted someone to take care of me and the kids. I had been taken care of my whole life by my dad and real daddy who bailed me out of trouble when I carelessly and thoughtlessly did 'dumb' things.

I didn't even know how to take care of myself, much less me AND my kids.

I thought I had this thing figured out and after two bad situations, I sat out to find my love online. I did, and the rest is history. I met a monster online who targeted me and ended up threatening my life and the lives of my kids and was a pervert pedophile. Thank God he didn't hurt my children, or he would dead and I would be in jail. I have boys and he had his "thing" for little girls.

But I thought honestly that they would get to know the "real"/inside of me and know that I was a good person and then looks wouldn't matter.

The biggest misconception of my life and most impulsive thing I ever did. I saw the red flags yet chose to ignore them because I thought that love could conquer all.

The real lesson that I learned is:
Don't believe everything someone tells you online and don't trust everyone, and sometimes- sometimes, love just isn't enough.

Insanity trumps love any day when you are dealing with someone with a personality disorder.

Thanks for listening,
Windy
_________________

I Love Little Steven And That Guy He Sometimes Plays With.
Confused and Dazed Administrator. Email me if you have any questions:
windsongsharmony@gmail.com

mikey#1 · Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 11:08 am Post subject:

Dear WindSong,

You are so right. Thanks for reminding us. My one and only experience with the internet and talking to someone who was looking for "a friend and maybe more" was a complete disaster. Unfortunately for him (luckly for me) I save any emails that I receive so I can re-read them and answer questions that are ask of me. I saw the red flags in black and white. Thank God I had been here and learned some things. Needless to say I sort of let loose on this fool. I believe it was Caroline that said this "If it looks like a pot holder, hangs like a potholder, was made as a potholder, then it is probably a potholder." Well, he was a "potholder" or probably an a**h**e. Now he probably thinks I am a raving b*t*h but I don't care. Needless to say personal ads are crossed off my things to do. Smile

Glad I had the knowledge to see through this person and call him on his BS. Thanks for reminding us to be careful and to protect ourselves.

mikey.

NancyCT · Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1327 Location: Connecticut, USA

I wouldn't dream of falling for an internet relationship because my XN puts himself out there!! I've seen his listings on various sites, and if I didn't know better, he would be my "dream date" LOL!! If that's not a wakeup call, what is??

Thanks for sharing your experience. It's a great reminder that all is not always as it appears to be.

Liberty · Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 10

Hi Windsong,
Yours is an awful story. I'm glad you got away from this awful person! There are also some good people online. I met my husband online but in a totally different situation. I was chatting in a general chat room when I first got my PC years ago and I didn't know how to use it. I completed all fields giving my name/address and even phone number thinking that I had to do this to use the chat room.
This guy mailed me and told me off and asked me to remove my details. Being so useless at using the PC he then had to help me to remove the details. This guy later ended up marrying me and he is a wonderful guy. We have been married now since 1999.

samvaknin · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 2229

The Cyber Narcissist

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal67.html

(Waving at Windsong)

Sam