Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

want_to_learn · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 33 Location: Scotland, UK

My daughter is now 20, I can't see any future for her, she is destined to go round and round in ever decreasing circles and never get anywhere. She comes up with some really good ideas and is a good, hard worker.but she seems to get so far and then something snaps and she pulls the rug from underneath herself..of course its always someone else's fault that this happened etc...but, the outcome with her is always the same.
She comes from a close family and until she was around 14/15 we were considered a pillar of our community.....that changed when she started smearing us all, telling how hard done to she was.....and the worst, how I beat her to within an inch of her life on a regular basis.which is so far from the truth it is almost laughable.
We have 4 girls altogether....all in 4 years, so they grew up very close..and life was a ball...the girls had holidays, horses, clothes...they had a privileged lifestyle......they all went to the best schools etc and most importantly, we all played together and stayed together.......she hit 14 and bang! life was never the same. With puberty came lying and stealing.it was awful, always a reasonable excuse/explanation for her behaviour.and cos she was my daughter and I loved her and the reality of her bizarre behaviour was so awful, I believed her......things changed when she lied about me......then there was no doubt about how sick and twisted she actually is. She lives 400miles away.and thats fine.the moon would be better......and life is calm just now.I know this won't last forever cos as soon as the people where she is get wise to her, she will be back.and nobody else puts up with the same amount of grief as your own family who loved you.
I don't wish my daughter any ill feeling and certainly no harm, she will do that to herself but unfortunately will never come to realise that her pain is a direct result of her nasty and lying ways.I actually feel sorry for my daughter.and now I am aware, if she hurts me again, I only have myself to blame.

yahssis · Joined: 15 Nov 2007 Posts: 4

I read your story and I can tell you that there are many times that I WISH my daughter would move away. The problem is, she is pregnant, age 18. The baby's father just turned 16.

Here is the recent convo between her and me when I found out that the baby's father's mother was at the sonogram and I was not allowed in, after my daughter assured me "oh, only the baby's father will be the first to see the sonogram!" SHE LIED AND SHE EXCLUDED HER OWN MOTHER!

Mad

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Here is how it all went:

me: "you told me that the baby's father was going to be the first one to see the sonogram."

nD: "SO?"

me: "now I find out _________(baby's fathers' mother) was there too?"

nD: "SO? big deal"

me: "I'm your da** mother for God's sake!"

nD: "Just cause I don't like you and don't want you there......."

me: "you told me the baby's father was the only one you were having there!"

nD: "Why would I WANT someone like THAT there (meaning ME cause by now I was obviously UPSET)

me: "Because I AM YOUR MOTHER!"

nD: "Go cry about it in the other room..."

me: "Who took you to the doctor the other day (yesterday), the hospital, and stayed with you when you were hurting.

nD: "So? you didn't HAVE TO." Candy would have(baby's father's mother)

me: "You can NOT just use me when it's convenient and then treat me like CRAP whenever you want."

nD: "whatever."

At this point, i'm being honest...I wanted to physically HURT HER...I mean I wanted to throw something at her head and hurt her BADLY! Then, I almost called my husband and told him I was going to leave RIGHT NOW if he didn't get his butt back here and MAKE HER RESPECT me!

Instead, I journalled my feelings, checked the daily chart I keep on nD's moods, and now am typing to you.

The 14th of every month, she turns into a vicious punishing monster!
_________________
~ALWAYS hope

want_to_learn · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 33 Location: Scotland, UK

hi. This is the first time in a long time I have been on here.pleased to meet you.
I am glad my daughter is gone, I do miss my grandson.....but.....major but here, if your daughter can use the baby against you, she will do and it will rip your heart out.
she is already using this baby against you and it isn't even born yet.
When my daughter ran and took the baby with her, I thought I would never recover and its been a long 15 months. every day I get a bit better etc but its been so hard.
I can't give you any advice apart from learn as much as you can as fast as you can and protect yourself.document everything. good luck.

yahssis · Joined: 15 Nov 2007 Posts: 4

Thankfully, I applied/interviewed for a job today and might get HIRED! This means I won't be here anymore to be scapegoated by her as much.

WOO HOO
_________________
~ALWAYS hope

turtlemary · Joined: 22 Jan 2008 Posts: 4

My only child my daughter is now going on 17 this year. Her father and I have been divorced since she was 7 years old. SHe is my one and only the joy or was the joy of my life. My fiance and built a house for the 3 of us that would be in walking distance from school, library and church everything was to be beautiful and happy.
Little did i know that my daughter has been lying about how i treat her for many years Neighbors would act funny and I had no idea why, until later when i found out they thougt i beat her on a regular basis.
THings got harder when we all started to live together. SHe ran away at 14 years old after a normal morning and ended up at some HOTEL and said she walked there. SHe ran away again the next month after which i was so afraid i kissed her butt and she continued to lie about me to others.
She pretended to be a cutter, pretended to be depressed and continued to make up stories even when the truth was easier just for fun.
This went on for a while my being afraid for her welfare, etc. One day about 2 years ago she left for school and never returned to our home. She had the guidance counselor call DYFS because she claimed i pushed her down the stairs and gave her a black eye. DYFS found the accusations to be untrue as she was not hurt /she ran away because I called her on an ART grade. How could the child i raised and loved try to destroy me over a failing art grade? She had her father pick her up because she pretended to be too afraid to come home. She skipped off to school every day and I told her father he could keep her. She was angry as that i think was not her plan. I am so much happier without her in my home. We were visiting regularly until the last couple of weeks where she now claims I am accusing her of things and she is uncomfortable to see me. This time i will not bend or break, until she stops lying she is a danger to me.

How does everyone here live with this I am often full of sorrow?[/quote]

want_to_learn · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 33 Location: Scotland, UK

What choice do we really have when we have a sick kid?...we can either move on and live our lives..or stay around and wait for more abuse from them.

My daughters attitude to life is.....if you are in a position where she can abuse you, its your own fault for not getting wise./tough.....and she enjoys making people suffer.

My life now is not how I ever thought it would be,.....I would have said I was very close to this kid...never saw this lot coming at all. My life now has to be without this daughter.and unfortunately anybody else she mixes with cos that is a source of supply to her.