Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Liberty · Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 10

Something I have been thinking about recently are not only the effects of bullying by relatives. I'm a new victim of family bullying as I spent most of my life with my dad miles away from my mum and sister. It is only recently since my dad died that my mum and sister have started their campaign of hatred and lies against me.

Yet, something that comes accross clearly to me is how these people seem to enjoy their victims to me needy. A needy victim is an easy one to pick on and demoralise. The psychological basis for this is all quite weird, similar to a cycle of domestic violence seems the only way I could describe it.

Having lived in that cycle of domestic violence for many years at least the honeymoon period did come along where I could sometimes take a breath of fresh air and be glad to still be walking. Yet with the behaviour of my sister and mum and lies told to all and sundry about me which are completely untrue hurt me more deeply than anything I yet experienced. Along with this I never even get a sorry or a honeymoon period and the abuse gets even more vicious and hurtful even when I ignore them as I have been doing now for a couple of weeks.

I have decided to stick close to real friends, people who know me for who I am. Yet, I'm also sad at why or how these 2 people are doing this to me, what their agenda is and it makes no logical sense to me at all?

Another thing I have to do is try to have a stronger skin and not be so sensitive to their hurtful words.

I also have to somehow empower myself, how this is done I do not know? It sure has been an eye opener to me to know that people can be so cruel as this to others.

Some of the topics I have read here have really hit a nerve and it really saddens me to know that some very unlucky individuals have been surrounded by these nasty bullies possibly their entire lives. So, I just wanted to share with whoever reads this that we are not the losers, they are.

We may be bruised and battered emotionally, but we have a strength which none of the bullies will even begin to recognise. We have empathy and alot of understanding of others which is a positive and encouraging thing.

How do we empower ourselves? I have no idea? I'm still recovering from my daily abusive e-mails from both my mum and sister. I have not writting to them in ages now, yet they keep writing to me? I dont know what to do about that one. It seems that I am ignored when I ask them to leave me alone and stop bullying me?

Oh well...

mollyneser · Joined: 05 Jan 2008 Posts: 11

Liberty · Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 10

mollyneser,
It's helpful to hear from someone else who has gone through similar.

I've not heard from either my mum or sis now for a few days. I also banned sis from viewing my myspace page. I didn't go on MSN so she can't catch me there either. I think/hope they finally got the message now.

Since this time I have ponly spoken to what I'd describe as 'nice' and 'positive' friends and I am feeling alot happier finally.

Smile

flower34 · Joined: 15 Mar 2008 Posts: 2

I can relate t oyour situation. I have a brother that is a bully to me. And my parenst support him and tell me that all the abusive emails he has written me are in my head and I am lying. All the abusive things he does to me is in my head. My own mother supports him, he has my father practically hating me.
I am 'raw' fro ma strong verabl abuse session by all 3 and now my brother's girlfriend has joined the picture adn they support her as well.
They have created abuisive sitautions in front of other family members -criticizing me and confronting me in front of other family members airing any dirty family laundry- trying to make me look like the abuser and not the victim.
My brother can create these type of situations because he know that the rest of the family has no idea of his bullying to me. And my parents cover it up by telling me it is in my imagination. meanwhile I am extremely afraid of him and his tyrades.

I have repeatedly told him that if he wants to converse with me or discuss matters with me he needs to do it in a private situation but he continues to do this in a public situation. And my parents support him.

My father has verbally abused me all his life and now he is older and sickly. It is breaking my heart to walk away from him.
He has all but told me that I am worthless and I am a joke and can never do anything with my life, he consistently brings up things that I did 20 yrs ago that obviously have no relevance but he wantes to do this to stress taht I am a failure and will always be.
It is so hurtful-do you walk away from a person like this for your own sanity.
I have gotten so frustrated that I have ended up criticizing him back but I think that is what he is looking for because it gives him a chance to keep being verbally abusive.
I know I have the power in me t obe a successful person and am slowly working my way out of this situation but everytime I have to go through these verbal abuse situations I cringe back in a hole and feel like I have no confidence.
It is ending up that I know if I must go to a family funciton I will have to endure a verbal abuse session. And if I don'tlwant to go they verbally abuse me by saying it is a disgrace that I am not with the family and that they love me.
I don't think they know what love is.

How can someone loving you make you feel so bad. My paresnt and my brother do vengeful things to me al;most as if they are trying to spite mand they try to do things that will render me helplesss that only they can get me out of.

I just don't understand this and dontl know what I should do..

resumeagain · Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 4

We gain our power by walking away...
whoever it is that is bullying you, if it is your family you cannot feel guilt, there is no excuse for abuse!