Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Talula · Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 139

He must be having problems in his pathetic life. For the longest time he hasn't called, emailed, or come near me. I have not contacted him in anyway for any reason since the "pinch" thing. Until last night... I picked up the phone and told him to stop calling my home or I will get a restraining order. loudly. with a swear word.

Since Dec. 4th he has called my land line 29 f'n times. Loading my phone with v'mails and all but three were between the hours of 11:30 and 3:30 am. the others were after 10:30. These calls do not include my cellular and direct connect. All calls were when he was drunk! Damn near every night.

If calling is the only thing he is doing won't he get bored? Won't he move on if I don't respond? Like my mom said in second grade... bullies move onto someone else if you do not respond. NOT THIS ONE.

He just finished probation, community service, and anger management obviously learning nothing. I am scared to get a ppo. He probably won't call me after a ppo... he will be destructive. Weather it be my vehicle, which is most predictable, or someone I know, without saying, me. THIS SHIT ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE DAMN IT. When he drinks he is true evil and calls me all night long til he passes out. If I don't respond he seems to simply like talking on my v'mail then the next day nothing....UNTIL HE GETS DRUNK. Not once has he called me in the daytime since Dec. 4th.

If I get a restraining order will he do the unthinkable if he can not call? Is it just better to let him blow my phone up everytime he gets drunk vs. the other things I KNOW HE IS CAPABLE OF. Getting a new number is on the list... it's hard for me to change my phone numbers because I am in sales! My number has been flabbaghasted with my clients for a year 1/2. It will cost me money and will not save my life. If he can't call me he will be here in three seconds; literally. We live too close to each other for the police to save me OR HIM AT THIS POINT.

You know, I called a domestic hotline and those bastards never called me back. I am going to call again today but all the advice from others going throught this or been through this is needed. I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. NO MORE THINKING I CAN DO THIS ALONE!

Matilda, all your harsh words, all your posts that left me dumbfounded are breaking this cinder block head of mine. I AM PISSED OFF AND NEED TO DO SOMETHING OR I WILL NEVER WAKE UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE.

Matilda · Joined: 27 Feb 2007 Posts: 1834

Start making records. Keep copies of emails he sends you. Do not respond to them. Block his email addy. Find out how you can block any texts he sends you. Do not respond to his calls. Keep a copy of his messages. If he has keys to your house, change the locks. When he knocks on your door. Don't answer the door.
If you answer the phone by accident when he calls. Hang up immediately.

So you got no response from the women's shelter. Keep calling and don't give up, or find the address and go there. Talk to a counsellor there.
Walk to the police station with records of all that this criminal ex is doing to stalk and harass you and ask what you can do.

Get any of his things out of your living space. Put them out in a box and donate them to charity. His stuff is not your responsibilty.

The problem is because you have possibly whined about him too long to others and at the same time, maintained contact with him, your credibility may be blown in the eyes of those who might have once supported you. (There aren't alot of people who have been caught up in your position either, so they simply may not understand. You do need good strong support. And if you accept their support, honor it by receiving it and putting their advice into practice.)

If you had police involvement in the past and then you turned back and engaged in contact with a man you claimed you needed protection from, then the law might see you as just wasting their time.

So, you have to prove - firstly to yourself that you are serious about sticking with no contact. And second, to the support system and resources you have around you that you are serious. It may not seem fair, but that's how it is.

Unfortunately with a disordered person like this, it isn't up to them to stay away..it's up to you to keep them out. No contact is to be totally enforced by you. He will use any reaction, response from you against you. (no matter how justified it might seem from your side.) Always remember you are not dealing with a normal person.

Other people have made it through this Talulah, and you can to if you choose to.
Hopefully others will come forward with good sensible strong practical advice for you to put into practice. (providing they haven't been too drained). Everyone has their limits love.

If you get advice now...USE IT.

matilda

(and no you are not a cinderblock head. Internalise the strong voices here to tap into your own strength. You can be far stronger than you ever thought possible, and to get rid of this criminal you are going to need that strength.)
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"I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out."-Steven Wright

Matilda · Joined: 27 Feb 2007 Posts: 1834

no response from you talulah?
Question

Matilda
_________________
"I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out."-Steven Wright