Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

am · Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 126

I have endured ALL the stages of the grieving process and survived. I realize that we are all unique with different situations; however, I want to share that 6 months has been magical for me. Often in the past people have inquired how long it takes, for me it has been half of a year.

I am not the same person that I was back then. Just wondering how long it took you.

Hugs,
AM

This is not to say I am done with this whole process. HOwever, I am not the same person who first came to this board.

sag07 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 537 Location: Elgin, IL

It's been 9 months of NC for me. I am over my xN but because she took my son (he is only 2 of age) and I haven't see him for those 9 months I am now trying to deal with that! That's been very hard on me and his two brothers... Well, will be starting therapy and then start looking at my legal options.... Nothing is easy with NPD's is it?

Sag

sara · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 175 Location: USA

Hi am,

My X D&D'd me over labor day weekend. It has been almost 6months. Unfortunately, on occassion, I have had to have contact with the NP at work. So, a couple of weeks ago, I had to talk with him about a problem on a job at work. He was being a typical NP, so I ended up telling him that I didn't want to be friends, etc. but he needed to be civil to me at work.

Yesterday, I had to talk with him again. After the conversation, I really, really realized how absolutely pyscho he is. He went off about what I had said to him about not wanting to be his friend. Then, I said something about what he did to me on labor day. He acted like he didn't remember(which he might of erased it) and then said he didn't want to talk about it. Then he told me this stupid joke that he has been telling for the past year.

And I kept thinking, what did I ever see in this person. I couldn't even carry on a normal conversation! I think being away from him really helped clear my head. I am also not the same person I was 6 months ago

I have grown tremendously. I discovered some of my own personal skeletons that I needed to resolve. I found that I was dependent on others to form my own self esteem. If someone devalued me, then I would devalue myself. I am learning to like myself and find hapiness from the inside out. I still have a long way to go, but I have faith that I will continue to grow.

Someone said to me once that "spring always follows winter" and it is true.

hugs,
sara Very Happy

Nolongerhisvictim · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1380

Sara,
I hear ya about the self esteem thing...I have been working that out in my own life....I think that is one of the reasons the POS was able to do me like he did...I will keep going to therapy as long as it takes....until I am finally and completely okay.

NLHV
_________________
NLHV

surf · Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1

Hi am,

Mine D&D'd me a bunch of times, and I took him back until I finally got fed up with it. It truly was a self esteem killer, and what was worse was that he told me I was crazy for being upset about the D&D (and all the nasty control, abuse, etc.).

It's been about 7 months of NC for me, and I don't miss him nor do I want him in my life. I still get angry at times, both at him and at myself for taking it, but I also have become much stronger and I know absolutely that I will never be in an abusive relationship again. I also realize that, for whatever reason, I apparently needed to grow from a relationship that truly delved into past issues with my mother and grandmother and that, despite the pain, this has really been a growing experience for me.

Hang in there everyone. It gets better, and you are growing stronger everyday, even if it doesn't always feel like it. You WILL find a loving partner when you're ready, and you will trust again.

Love to all,

Surf

betterdaysn2007 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 47

I finally called the police on my P on September 16, so I am coming upon 6 months too, on March 16. I have been NC since the end of December. I never dreamed I would feel the way I feel today. What was I thinking staying with him?! I too am a new person and can't wait for closure on the whole deal!

Conrats to those of you OVERCOMING! Hang in there, those of you who feel like you aren't, because you CAN!!

Nolongerhisvictim · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1380

Congrats Better!!!

You deserve to feel very strong and successful for making these positive changes in your life...it isn't initially an easy thing to do, but the rewards with time will reaffirm to you that you made the right life choice for yourself!!! Keep up the good work!!!! You deserve the positive benefits!!!

NLHV
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NLHV