Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

OxDrover · Joined: 13 May 2007 Posts: 1465 Location: Arkansas USA

The essay written by the poster on dealing with an adolescent psychopath is so thoughtful and well written that it brought tears to my eyes. I lived through her pain as a parent, but without her inisight--I kept maintaining "hope" through those turbulent years--trying to find the magical words to "open his eyes" that he was headed for prison or death.

I felt like a "voice crying in the wilderness" with no one to hear, no one to care. No one who could SEE what I SAW. He had so much potential, so much charm, so much intellect, talent, good looks, everything in the world to make him a success for himself and humanity. Surely there could be something or someone who could "help"---

After he killed his first (known) victim, I ended up being persuaded by a friend to take a job in an inpatient setting for adolescents with "conduct disorder" as an intake coordinator...I sat for hours each day with my "professional face" on listening to grieving, desperate parents describe their children to me and I realized (1) I was not alone, there were others (2) that there were children who had done WORSE things than murder (3) what psychopath and conduct disorder really meant.

At that point I started studying N & P as a healing process for myself--I looked backwards and forwards--realizing that I had met at least one psychopath & narcissist of great proportions before--my biological father. I realized that my son was also a psychopath. It helped with the desperate grief of "losing my son" not to death, but to "death in life"--worse than physical death. Though I worked through the grief of "losing my son" at the same time I didn't totally disconnect, and I see now that I should have, and finally have disconnected completely. No contact. Not letters, not information from others, nothing.

To those people here on the forum and in the real world who are dealing with these offspring, my prayers are with you.
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Life is lived forward, but understood backwards.

amf · Joined: 26 Oct 2007 Posts: 3

please read amf on my story site and tell me how to emotionally disconnect from someone you give birth too? is it a final heinous act that they commit that turns you from them forever? how do you not feel guilty for bringing them to this world only to cause violence. my son too has always been highly intelligent, chaming and witty but can turn on you at a drop of the hat. it's such a wasted life. how do you answer why this happened? i've cut ties for only 2 weeks now and plan to continue but he'sthere in my head all the time. i seem emotionally paralyzed and unable to do anything normal or have a semblance of a good time.