Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Stacieb · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 59

I emailed the letter to my lawyer.

Thank you for being so supportive ladies.

Im just going to sit back now and keep my eyes and ears open. I will be one step ahead just in case.

I just wish he wasn't a P, not because id want him back , I don't, but wish he was mentally healthy enough to just bugger off and leave me alone once and for all. Ive let him go, wish he'd do the same.

Im tired of being used as a supply source, and my NC rule will hopefully make him go away and not bother contacting me anymore.

If i dont reply he wont bother I dont think.

Thanks again ladies.

God Bless

Stacie x x

OxDrover · Joined: 13 May 2007 Posts: 1461 Location: Arkansas USA

Stacie e mailed me the photo of HIM pointing a "bb gun" at her photo--while this might "technically" be a BB gun, it LOOKS like a powerful sniper rifle and has a huge and expensive SCOPE on it--

this is NO TOY, this guy is fantasizing about sniping people withreal bullets.

The photo of the garden fence DOES appear to have someone looking in, but it might be an illusion. It doesn't matter, this guy is DANGEROUS.

I advised her to go to the police and take the photos and to KEEP HERSELF SAFE. I also told her that HE HAS NO CONSCIENCE, Stacie, dear, I think that is the pivotal thing that YOU need to grasp---just like my son CANNOT "be sorry" or "repent" or anything else positive anymore than a wolf can be "sorry" for targeting a deer....we are PREY for these predators and they "kill" us either emotionally or physically and "drink our blood" for their food---other's pain is their only "supply"

Not all are physically dangerous, but some are---and I can "diagnose" yours from that one photo of his huge and expensive gun pointed at your face. Honey, he hates you, and is seeking revenge on you.

I think he is VERY CAPABLE OF KILLING YOU...you can't take the chance. Whatever it takes if it means leaving your home for good, you must protect yourself and your child. What would happen to your child if you died? THINK woman! You are not dealing with a "normal" human--you are dealing with a VAMPIRE clone.

I realize my post sounds "frantic" and I guess I am a bit--I cannot "rescue" you, or keep you safe--that is your responsibility, but I couldn't live with myself if I spotted this danger (that you already see and are minimizing) and didn't at least "scream" DANGER to you--but the rest is up to you, Stacie--YOU must take responsibility for your safety--but I will be praying for you every minute, and the forum will be here for you. God bless you, young woman and keep you safe in His hands. OxDrover
_________________
Life is lived forward, but understood backwards.

Stacieb · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 59

OxDrover,

Thank you honey for your help.

The BB gun is a powerful air/sniper rifle that uses proper metal bullets/pellets, and has a break barrel power at a velocity of up to 1,000 feet per second., not sure if thats right i cant remember what he told me about it, as i hated those bloody guns but he did let me hold it once, and I can tell ya it weighed a ton.

I did see him shoot through a thick hardback book which had at least 200 pages, and the bullet went right through it Sad

His job was actually working for a gun company so he got weapons half price. He was always picking up weapons when he went away last time was in Paris when he got throwing knives.

Yeah the garden picture, my family members said it looks like a person but they cant be sure if it is or just an illusion.

Im going to take your advice Ox Drover and ive asked my lawyer to pass this information onto the police because she is more of an authorative figure than I am and she is going to be able to get the police to make a note of this. If it was just me complaining to them, they would just ignore me.

My other two NP friends (Im sure they are ones from the way they treat me) also love weapons and go shooting together.

im going to take every precaution i can think of, and make sure my house is secure and my son safe.

Ive done almost all i can do now so its just about keeping awareness at the forefront in my mind.

If he does happen to come near me, hes going to have a hell of a fight on his hands because there is no way im letting him hurt my child or me.

Thankyou OxDrover for your advice, i have been letting things slide because i feel "Im being over paranoid" or "nah he couldnt do that, hes not like that" but I realise that THEY (Ps) dont care, they have no feeling so they could kill and not feel bad one bit about it.

He knows the days im home alone and thats 3 days out of every week so im going to disappear from the house on those days and go somewhere else. I wont stay here alone anymore.

God Bless

Stacie x x x

OxDrover · Joined: 13 May 2007 Posts: 1461 Location: Arkansas USA

Stacie, I am so PROUD OF YOU--you have cut through the BS and you are a smart woman--many people stay stuck in the DENIAL stage--God alone knows how long I did and kept "going back"--I guess it took almost being murdered to make me see "the truth--the whole truth--and nothing but the truth"

Good girl! You are a survivor and we are here any time you need us. Your fear is REAL not immiginary.

Hang in there, be safe. Our prayers are with you too. Remember even the strongest ARMY or the biggest giant can't win over GOD and a sling shot!
_________________
Life is lived forward, but understood backwards.

Stacieb · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 59

Thankyou OxDrover,

I guess im in the wait and see stage.

I hope it passes quickly

Thankyou ladies for all your help I really appreciate it, Ill keep documenting weird goings on around the house and ill keep being safe.

God Bless

-Stacie x x

Echo · Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2007 1:49 pm Post subject:

Hi Stacie,

You sound like you are behaving very sensibly with your plan's to secure your safety.

I'm a bit late in here to this thread, so please correct me if I am wrong with the dates etc - I think its a good sign for you that he is not contacting you directly since the beginning of the year.

When in a violent relationship(not sure if this is the case here) the most dangerous period when someone has decided to leave, is immediately at the point of leaving the relationship.(domestic violence stats.). If a person can get away, and stay away from the abuser, they have a very good chance of getting their lives back on track.

I read the bit where he is frightened of the law, and is law-abiding...that also goes in your favour. Was he ever violent towards you before? Once a person has descended into physical violence, it will usually escalate. There is a clear-cut profile for physical abusers.

I'm hoping to allay your fears here, because it is awful that anyone have to live in this state of hyper-alertness continually.

We are none of us able to offer professional advice on this board, we can only offer our advice and experiences as they happened to us. I would advise you to cherry-pick what advice suits you and your situation, which I'm sure you are doing.

You have done everything you can to secure your safety, you have contacted other people to let them know of the situation. Try to stay as calm and level as you obviously are. It looks like you are doing a very good job to me.

Is your email blocked and phone number changed? Do your friends and family know where you are when you go out?

Those emails are definately wierd and warped, and he sounds like a very undeveloped controlling character. You on the other hand, sound like a very sensible, smart person....you will get through this.

On skimming through the posts I saw that you were passing stuff onto your lawyer? Do you have an RO on him? That would be good if you are able to do so.

Also, with regard to the wierd goings on in your home - there is a thread on the NPD board called "Gaslighting" - if you haven't read it already, you might find it helpful.

Does anyone other than you have an old key?

You are doing the right thing securing yourself. The harder you make it for him to be in your life, the easier it will be for you.

Take care, and keep going, you are doing great. Secure your life from him, and then take it back.

Echo

Stacieb · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 59

Hello Echo and thank you for your kind words.

My xP has contacted me in february , may and now August, with just plain pleaseantries.

He wasnt a violent person, never hit me or shouted at me. He was always calm, softly spoken and quiet and shy.

he never yelled at me, hit me, showed anger. nothing

He was pretty much emotionless.

He does have a preoccupation with Guns, swords, knives and fire. Something that has escalated as time has gone on, He buys more and uses them more etc.

I have stuck to the NC rule and have not replied to his February, May or August emails.

I have changed my phone number, and should be changing the locks to the front door this week.

My xP is a very quiet, shy individual who doesnt do well in groups of people.

He never once showed emotion , and the times he did seemed very fake.

Never shouted at me, and when I would yell at him for his "Silent treatement" he just ignored me or stared at me

His silent treatment became an everyday thing , I igot frustrated at why he didnt react to me or to our surroundings.

I now know why.

There is so much about him I still havent shared, but Im sure i have shared the points about him which are most worrying.

I want to stay calm as i dont want him (if hes watching me) to see me in a state of unrest or seeing me panicked.

And my son has to see his mother acting as normal , I cant upset him. But I will just wait in the sidelines and watch.

I think he is using Gaslighting, I have to be 100% sure first though, so Im documenting every door I lock when I unlock it and making sure I look to see if anything has been opened, moved, missing , or touched.

I will journal my everyday events as I do them such as : "Locked the back door as I popped out to the shop" , "Came home unlocked back door"

This will give me assurances that if anything has been moved or opened I will know for SURE this time.

Thats all I can do for now.

I have noticed that since his mail in february he has emailed me in a 3 month interval. (Every 3 months) because he has not yet got a reply so hes obviously planned the time spaces and when to email me next.

Its just something I noticed - that his contact has been every 3 months.

EVen if im VERY wrong, I will still be very careful and keep documenting things because if I let my guard down for just one second something could happen.

I take self defence classes and im going to continue doing so, its great exercise and it helps me defend myself

I have had a gut feeling inside all the time that something wasnt right about him or my situation but i always shooed it away thinking "Your losing it girl , get it sorted"

However the string of events that led me to this board no longer seem stupid or a coincidence, I believe I was meant to find out who my P was , and what was wrong with him.

it answers a lot of questions I had about our relationship , and the heavy blame and guilt that I and the P laid at my door can finally be lifted . I now see him for what he is....and that is someone who has nothing inside his heart, hes just blank.

Im not going to be scared because right now, if it is him gaslighting or pestering me hes not going to win.

I dont have a RO on him as he hasnt done anything to me yet, so i have no basis for one. and it would be rejected.

My xP is very law conscious but hes also very very smart, incredibly smart

I only have an old key , not sure if he had one cut for the 3 weeks he had that key to himself. he gave it back to me but he could have always got another one cut during that time.

Im going to take every bit of advice I get, I wont pick one out of the other, Im going to remember every bit of that advice from everyone here and I will commit it as much as I can to memory, then if the worst does happen ill know what to do.

Im living my life as normal, ill just be careful and more alert but I wont let him control my llife from afar. He has no right to do that!

I dont want to live in fear, hence why im documenting my everyday occurances with doors and windows so I know for sure if something is amiss it cant be me thats done it. whatever that may be

This week has been an eyeopener for me, ive been in denial, stressed and just overwhelmed and upset by all that I have read.

Part of me doesnt believe my XP is capable of being the way he is, but then I only have to go over it in my mind.

Four days ago i was so sure he was a P, and then I start doubting myself, its becoming hard to decide which is right eg: If he is a P, or if he isnt

Its like a yo yo , forever going up and down on my decision.

But someone here did say in an email to me that "Your going through the stage of denial"

Maybe I am, but if I am , im still going to be safe and make sure my house is secure and my son well protected because at the end of the day, no matter which decision you come to, everyone still needs precautions.

Thanks for listening and reading my posts, its been a whirlwind of a week for me and a revelation of events have opened up and im shocked.

It takes a while for things to sink in.

God Bless and much love

Stacie xxx

Echo · Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2007 2:58 pm Post subject:

Hi Stacie, Thanks for your reply, it was really good of you to fill me in.

I was stuck by the "3 monthness" of things also. This has happened to me too - only it was every 6 months - almost set your clock by it. Very strange. Its like he is bookmarking you for contact.

I'm very heartened to hear that he has never been violent, thats a really good sign safety wise. The wierdness isn't good though.

Thanks for explaining about the RO - I can see why you wouldnt have evidence for that, and if he is gas-lighting, it would be almost impossible for you to prove. Best step is what you are doing, to keep him out.

Thats a good idea about the journalling, its tiresome, but it will be effective for you to know whats going on.

He sounds extremely odd - and his word-salad stuff is emotional abuse, no wonder your head spins with this stuff.

Now the 64 thousand dollar question(again forgive me if Ive missed it) have you blocked him from your email?

I ask that because that seems to be his preferred method of getting at you....and blocking it would keep him from invading your space. The written word is so powerful, and if he is getting into your home that way, it can be very distressing and invasive.

You have had alot to absorb, take your time and go easy on yourself, you will get through. Very Happy

Echo

Stacieb · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 59

Hello Echo,

Thank you Smile

I have blocked him out of my email account, i did this a few days ago.

He hasnt been violent towards me but the torture of animals worries me and I do fear thats his starting point and he might go onto other things after that.

Yeah the 3 month contact thing is weird I didnt reply to any of his emails.

Ill just wait and see what happens, but keeping this journal I will know if anything is amiss and then I can debunk it, and see if its me thats moved the door , unlocked it etc or if its him.

This does spin my head a lot, as Im not sure what to take as fact or what to take as me being over paranoid.

I will however keep my family safe just in case. You can never be too sure how Ps will react.

Im going to try and let my heart decide without my head trying to make every little thing too logical.

Its a lot to take in but if I give myself time for all this to sink in I might be able to make heads or tails of it all .

God Bless

Stacie xxx

WindSong · Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2007 1:43 am Post subject:

Stacie honey,
I just got your email you sent me three days ago. I wasn't ignoring you... It came in my spam folder for some reason. I hate gmail!

But I wanted to let you know that I got your email finally and that I wasn't ignoring you at all. And I will write you back tomorrow. I'm so tired and if I don't go to bed soon I am going to get keyboard face!

but I promise I will write you back tomorrow.

I really am sorry for the mistake. I don't know what gmail's problem is.

But I will write you back tomrrow.

Big Hugs,
Tammy
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Stacieb · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 59

Windsong.

lol keyboard face.

Thats ok hon! I didn't think you were ignoring me hehe

God Bless

Stacie xx

skittish_kitten · Joined: 09 Aug 2007 Posts: 51

been following this thread for days now and wondering if stacieb is alright?? what you posted about your xP is some seriously scary stuff...this guy is dangerous and clearly capable of anything...got me thinking back to my exPbf and how, after a decade of "knowing" him, or rather his projected self, never thought him capable of physical violence~wrong...last winter i had to make for the exit because it had escalated to that point...these monsters are loaded time bombs, just waiting to go off...i also went back to re-read some of my ex's emails and found it amusing (now), how they are nothing but a bunch of word salad, lol...i hope that you are safe and take good care of you, (hugs), kitten

WindSong · Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 7:10 am Post subject:

good question and yes, it was some scary stuff the XNP wrote her.

Stacie honey, ARE YOU OK? Let us know you alright? did you get the locks changed? ((((((((((Stacie))))))))))))

hugs to you too, skittish.....
_________________

I Love Little Steven And That Guy He Sometimes Plays With.
Confused and Dazed Administrator. Email me if you have any questions:
windsongsharmony@gmail.com

skittish_kitten · Joined: 09 Aug 2007 Posts: 51

i just hope that she's alright...thanks for the (hugs) windsong and right back at you...hugs, kitten

Stacieb · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 59

Hello girls,

Thankyou for the hugs Smile

Im doing well, I havent had any more weird goings on , and everything here is good.

There has been no open back door or gates. and my doors are all secured.

Im just keeping my eyes and ears open at the moment, Im not underestimating the xP but Im not going to disrupt my son by being stressed out all the time either

I dont feel stressed at all anymore. I feel relaxed and happy.

Just hope he stays away

((((To all)))))

God Bless

Stacie xx