Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Theresa13 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 1546 Location: , Ontario

As you are probably aware from my posts on NPD board XN is up on 3 counts of sexual assault against my DD.........The trial starts this Dec 3rd..........It appears his line of defense is gonna be DD is doing this because of how the mother was treated..........Personally I don't think it will fly, but the man is pretty good at what he does..........Anyway he seems to be more upset with me as opposed to DD and I'm curious (because I believe 100%) he's a malignant N..... if he goes to jail...........will he spend all his time plotting and scheming on how to get back at me................What do you honestly think...........And of course the other thing is What if the prick gets off? I don't know if DD could handle it, and I'm sure it would set me back too............I want to believe that justice will be served and N has certainly done a lot of stupid things without me prompting him...so I've kinda been sitting back and watching him tangle himself in his own web.................Based on the way he acted in court with me and marriage bullshit..........I'd say he really shows his true colours..........What do ya think?.........And thanks so much Windsong for all your work re me on board......Always, Theresa
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I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can't divorce a book.

Cookie2 · Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1378

Hi Teresa....Yes he might show his true colors in court but my experience tells me NO ONE other than you will know that they are the action of an n........You ask if he might think a lot about revenge while doing time.....I would almost guarentee that he will....he'll have nothing but thinking and planning time in there.......Might you use that same time to move yourself and your daughter to a safe place? How about using that same time to do whatever it takes to keep yourself and her safe once he is out? As long as he is plotting do some 'plotting' of your own.....Have a plan in place so once he is out you are ready....N's love revenge and dont mind making others pay for the things THEY did...Start making your plans Teresa! Laughing

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I have a photographic memory....I just don't have same day service.....................Cookie

WindSong · Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 4:20 pm Post subject:

Theresa,
Glad to have you back.

What Cookie has said is DEAD ON here. While we are not professionals, but ones who have been through the crap too, we can guarantee almost 100% that he is thinking revenge, and will do what he can, lie, cheast, steal to get back at you and DD for his current plight.

Is he currently in jail awaiting charges or is he out on bond while waiting?

Take all precautions and keep all evidence you get. Emails, phone calls if you can tape them, letters, phone messages he left, whatever you can get your hands on and expect him not to play fair. Hope for the best, but expect the worst.

Hang in there and keep us posted Theresa.

Hugs,
Tammy
_________________

I Love Little Steven And That Guy He Sometimes Plays With.
Confused and Dazed Administrator. Email me if you have any questions:
windsongsharmony@gmail.com

Theresa13 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 1546 Location: , Ontario

Thanks guys, and no he's not in jail, his only condition is he can't be within a 1000 feet of DD........just bullshit if you ask me, but then the man is innocent till proven guilty........It's been so difficult to watch him meander around like nothings going on, and he's managed to keep me out of AA meeting he belongs to............(not that I give a shit except that it's so totally against the whole AA thing, but I agreed only because my DD detective said we didn't want it to appear like I was goding him,,, and naturally I agreed.......This a hole has managed to manipulate my Sister (who I'm convinced is HIstrionic) over to his side, and also a cousin and Aunt of mine who live here in town.......My cousin cuts his hair.......PLLLLLEEEEEEEEAase.
And this after being told by DD (as cousin has 2 daughters) what's up.........My Aunt is in deep denial about her life in general as she was married to my mothers brother who was a big time drunk till his last breath.........Anyway you get the idea I could go on for ages, but this aunt actually signed a fucking court document for this moron ............It just seems incredible to me that these people, (my family) can be so far gone.......I absolutely admit we come from a long line of dysfunction but for GOD'S sake they've known me all my life................I kinda knew in my heart what your answers would be and I certainly appreciate your honesty..........I was really hoping that he might self implode, or have a stroke or big domestic dispute with OW who must surely have seen the real thing by now........I know she saw he was capable of attacking me, cause the bitch sat right beside me and didn't lift a finger to help me...........Then went to the police 3 , yes 3 times that w/end after I charged him and lied in her teeth as I was charged with counter assault...........So you know she's seen the real thing.......and comments made or overheard by her such as he's a materialist....blah blah................I think she's stuck with him and can't get out............and as I've said before she's as dumb as a post so she was the perfect target............Anyway, I will seriously consider my future when the trials done, I've been spending a lot of time trying to heal and help my DD heal and my Aspberger's Son...............HONESTLY, some days I feel like I'm carrying the whole fucking world on my shoulders and I'm not gonna make it............BUT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT I THINK .....SCREW YOU A HOLE............I'M NOT GONNA LIVE IN FEAR OF YO U ANYMORE, and there's a part of me that really believes he's far more afraid of me than I am of him..........However after reading Robert Hare's "WITHOUT CONSCIENCE" it's crystal clear he's now been put in a position of having nothing to lose...............Anyway thanks again I just don't know where I'd be without you all.............and If anything happens to me I told my friends to find ANN RULE, and have her write my story..........WHO WOULD EVER HAVE BELIEVED WE'D HAVE GOTTEN HERE HUH?
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I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can't divorce a book.

WindSong · Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 2:50 am Post subject:

((((((((Theresa)))))))))
I am now even more glad we got you back hon. You ARE carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. This scumbag needs to go down. Cookie can help you as far as the family turning against you. She had that done to her. She's a good talk to person as far as that goes.

I have an Asperger's son as well as you do. He's fifteen. It's tough when you have an abuser in the house because I know the XNP picked at my Aspie son terribly calling him a retard and many other things. And then to have the charges against DD. And then to be denied your rights to attend AA meetings because of this jerk. I had no idea of the things that you have been going through. I'm really sorry.

Well I guess if murderer's can get out on bond a little thing like sexual assault isn't going to make much of a difference in a court case. One thing that I would be sure to do is to make that a restraining order be put against you all if he is hopefully convincted for the SA charges. Sure he'll do some time, but with the way courts are nowadays it won't be enough. But another thing if I were you and he is convincted.... well hell I was you.... The one that I was with when he was convicted of child porn and got three big whopping years (rolls eyes) I used that time to get the hell out of the dodge that he and I lived in together. I now live in hiding and I suggest you do the same should he go away.

There's a chance the true colors will come out in court. Give them enough rope as the old saying goes.... But he might hold the mask on during that time too. You don't know. Just be prepared the best you can. Get all the evidence you can. Be the strength DD needs. We'll be here for you for the strength you need. Do all you can to see this waste POS go off for as long as you can.

I'm so sorry Theresa. (HUGS) to you and your family. I myself will be saying many prayers!

Love and many hugs,
Tammy
_________________

I Love Little Steven And That Guy He Sometimes Plays With.
Confused and Dazed Administrator. Email me if you have any questions:
windsongsharmony@gmail.com

Theresa13 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 1546 Location: , Ontario

Windsong you're so very sweet and yes Aspie kids are the best.......My son is now 20 and he is living in assissted living in another town just 20 minutes away............He's so smart........and just like your's his N father treat him like shit.........My son read the DSM on NPD...........and legally changed his name as it was the same as his fathers...........My dear friend said to him though you're legally Jake, he's not , he just goes by Jake.........his legal name is Murdock so my son changed his last name so as never to be associated with him again........The legal document asked reason for name change and my son responded with---"MY FATHER IS EVIL AND I NEVER WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH HIM AGAIN? --imagine the Gov't guy reading that one huh? I remember how horrible it was when I had to talk about assissted living with him.........I couldn't even barely feed him, and at the time I was terrified of N, and I'll never forget the horror of knowing in my heart that it was the best thing for my son.........Then it was just me and Mitch (my cocker spaniel) since put down due to age.............those were really tough days, but my son has done so very well and he actually has the Canadian Authority on this stuff as his doctor. I needed a second opinion and I got it from him......I read about him in Tony Attwoods book and thought Hell he's right here in my back yard, so I wrote him a letter and the rest is history. It was this doctor years back that told me to get my son involved with this program and now Wind he's about to go out on his own with his friend and get an apt..........He's learned so much and come such a long way..........I'm so grateful I ran my ass off to get the best help I could, and looking back I can clearly see that N hurt him too in a sexual way, I just know it in my heart, my psychologist says that my son has probably repressed it , Funny sometimes my DD and I both say "Shit I wish I had Aspbergers" The really unfortunate thing is we didn't get a diagnosis till he was 12 so unfortunately I had no idea..............But I've sure learned everything I could.................and it's served me well...........N wouldn't open a book, watch a tape, or give a shit............He was truly jealous of my son's intelligence...............I'm curious Wind, did you read the 'CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT"? It's great and was written by an Aspie........I loved it...........Anyway thanks so much for all you do and all you are............BIG HUGS, Always, Theresa
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I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can't divorce a book.

movedon · Site Admin Joined: 12 Jul 2007 Posts: 814

Theresa, I really admire you reading this,your determination and courage
shouted out at me
I dont know all your story just what Ive read here and if i win the lottery gal im over there and get you the best lawyer and money so you wont struggle.
I know you dont know me I just wanted to give you a (((((((hug)))))))
I have struggled with money and I found it hard and theres only one of me. So all you have been through is amazing and whats more amazing is your determined to win and i sincerely hope you do
I hope you dont feel Im being creepy I just really felt for you reading this nightmare you've been through
I pray you'll win this battle and will from now on keep you in my prayers
Hugs
Movedon
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Theresa13 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 1546 Location: , Ontario

Moved I'm not the least bit creeped in fact I'm quite pleased........I have attempted to post my whole story and typed for what seemed like hours one night and got to about age 13 when exhaustion set in.......Anyway I hit submit and the frigging thing went off into cyberspace...........Needless to say I was a bit pissed...........BUT............I'm attempting to write a book and the title is "BLOW ME" ........cause it's my all time favourite expression for the OW and the N...........Hugs to you too..........Always, Theresa
_________________
I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can't divorce a book.

movedon · Site Admin Joined: 12 Jul 2007 Posts: 814

I hope you write it let me know when you do Ill buy it and read it
I must admit ive done that typed something out then it disapears into a black hole ( a bit like mens socks in a washing machine Laughing

Hugs
Movedon
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OxDrover · Joined: 13 May 2007 Posts: 1465 Location: Arkansas USA

Theresa, to answer one of your questions a few posts back, YES--he will sit in prison and scheme--he will BLAME you--you B1tch--for having him arrested/prosecuted IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT, NOT HIS....in his mind. And he will WANT, DESIRE, NEED, CONSPIRE revenge.

Even if he is still "inside" like my P-son, he will find plenty of friends in there who will give him a PhD in tactics to ruin or hurt you, or even kill you.

Some are worse than others, but the criminal ones are unrelenting I believe--believe "the worst" AND PREPARE FOR THE WORST--move, change your name, get help of a private investigator who can tell you how to "hide"--you aren't hiding from the police, but you are hiding from the P and a PI can tell you where and how they can find you in records.

I saved my life by hiding, by secretly leaving before he knew I was gone. I realize now that HE KNEW I was gone but my mom didn't. He had been to my house (as proved by vandalism) and knew and wanted to know where I was...RUN, do whatever it takes to make yourself and your loved ones safe.

The ones that don't believe you, that are "in his camp"--leave those people behind as well NO MATTER WHAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO YOU IS.

I'm so glad for your son, he sounds like a sweet young man and I am glad that he is "making it"--you are a good mother to not try to over protect him. God bless you, and I will keep you in my prayers. Love, and hugs Ox Drover
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Life is lived forward, but understood backwards.

livedthroughit · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 946

Theresa,

The ExN here stood up in court (family law court, you know my story), admitted he'd been inappropriate with DD, and justified his behavior with "I did it because DD gets no love from her mother."

I'm not taking his guilt, I'm not taking his guilt, I'm not taking his guilt.... I tell myself everytime I am overcome with emotion. Do your think your N and my N will have a special place in hell? I think so, since you can't be forgiven for your sins without repenting them. Really, they will have their day where they truly have to answer for the things they have done. No matter what happens in the legal system, some day they will have to answer to God.

I tried to not respond here, I'm no expert and I don't think I should be posting on this particular forum, but I just had to share this with you.

Cookie2 · Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1378

Hey lived

As far as I'm concerned you were within your rights to reply here......I mean...Where else would you have replyed??? Rolling Eyes

Believe you me....I'm NO expert either Embarassed

Wish I was sometimes but know that I'm not.....I've just 'been there' and came out with my sanity(which isnt always easy)and then felt the 'pull' to stick around on this site and attempt to help others thru it as best I can.......All of us vetrans feel the same.......thats why we say all the time that we ARE NOT professionals.....It's because we ARE NOT! And are not claiming to be either.......my term for us vets would be 'compassionate'........Now that one I AM! Thanks for your reply! Wink

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I have a photographic memory....I just don't have same day service.....................Cookie

movedon · Site Admin Joined: 12 Jul 2007 Posts: 814

I agree Cookie, I think we just studied at the university of life and came through
Im no expert and dont pretend to be either but I do feel so strongly that if I can help one person through this then I will

hugs to all
Movedon
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