Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

testarosa · Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 1

Hi, I am new here, and am just coming to the realization that my bf of three years had more than a bad temper. This has been an excruciatingly painful situtation. He was the "perfect" man of course, successful, driven, athletic, dynamic ... etc etc. So I was very hooked. And he knows it. For 2 years however I periodically experienced his humiliating rages (extreme devaluation) when I would say something innocuous to my bf, usually no idea what I did to set him off. He would rage and lecture and insist that I agree with his view that I triggered him, I was critical, etc. and then cut me out of his life for days or weeks. Last week we had a warm and loving several nights together, were snuggled up watching a movie and talking, and suddenly he reacted to something I said (no clue what) and exploded in a rage, calling me insane, a liar, demanding I repeat what I said, and raging "this relationship always blows up this way". I was baffled and shocked since we had been getting along beautifully. I texted him 2 days later saying I could no longer have that abuse in my life and had to ending the relationship. I have read that the normal N response is to try to pull you back in. My bf however sent an email stating he was done too, and he couldn't tolerate the "he said, she said" nonsense (no clue what this means), did not refer to my reference to his ongoing absuse, but stated since would could not communicate with any clarity, he would no longer call me nor take my calls. Punish me, then punish me some more, and I did nothing wrong to begin with. Is this typical to respond to a disconnect with a harsher disconnect, as in, he desires no communication from me at all?

Last night, his phone apparently kept autodialing me, 4 times, and it was his voice, in a bar, talking animatedly with women. Apparently the phone was in his pocket, but no clue if this was deliberate or not. Letting me hear what a great time he is having with his new source/sources of admiration? Or I am just being paranoid. I shouldn't care, but it hurts like hell. I cried most of the night.

I don't know what the heck to expect here. It's eating me up. Any thoughts on this would be a port in a storm. I lost my job because of the emotional anguish, so have no insurance, thus, no counseling right now.

Thanks!

T.

samvaknin · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 2186

Most personality disordered people are prone to be angry. Their anger is always sudden, raging, frightening and without an apparent provocation by an outside agent.

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://samvak.tripod.com/mask.html

Narcissists can be imperturbable, resilient to stress, and sangfroid. Narcissistic rage is not a reaction to stress – it is a reaction to a perceived slight, insult, criticism, or disagreement (in other words, to narcissistic injury). It is intense and disproportional to the "offence".

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal86.html

Approach-Avoidance Repetition Complex and Fear of Intimacy

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/5000

Does the Narcissist Have a Multiple Personality (Dissociative Identity
Disorder)?

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/4950

Narcissists as Drama Queens

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/4948

Take care.

Sam