Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

survivormomoftwo · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 313 Location: USA

Is that what she meant? Posting the name on here?

There are other ways you can take back your power without violating any board rules.

There is always "dontdatehimgirl.com" where you can warn others and perhaps save them the fate that you have met. It is absolutely tragic what you read that these women have been through.

Lukky · Site Admin Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 2624

I understand that in our healing sometimes we feel like we have to get them back for what they have done and expose them......

I personally am way too scared to go there....... Mine was a frightening man man and I defintitely dont want to do anything that will warrant further retaliation from him!!

I think before you do anything Willow,,, you need to take your personal safety into consideration..... Warning others of their potential may help,, but more often than not it doesnt... It just comes accross as sour grapes and makes the 'new one' in their lives more determined to prove you wrong......

I mean hey we all know here how convincing they can be....
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'The Best reaction is no reaction'

survivormomoftwo · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 313 Location: USA

Yes, safety is first, although I think the "revenge" theory is a misunderstanding. It's not about "getting back" at anyone. It is about taking your life back, establishing boundaries, building self esteem, empowering yourself and standing up for yourself.

I think it is a big misconception that steps many women need to take to feel like a whole person again are revenge driven. Revenge is smashing their windshields or setting their house on fire or something crazy like that! lol Those are deliberate destructive acts.

If you are saying "this person did xyz to me" you are taking your power back. You may also help someone else not fall into the same circumstance you have.

I think we have to give room to people to take their power back, no matter what crime was committed against them. Murder victim families get a chance in court many times, rape victims take their power back by pressing charges and testifying....abused women need the same avenue because we really don't have anything else because our society is still not looking at it as the problem that it is.

Echo · Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 1:40 pm Post subject:

Hi Guys, I agree with Femfree, and theres also this to consider.

By revealing the full identity of our abusers on a public site we run the risk of revealing our own identity. This might not be a problem for some people but for others it could be life-threatening - or worse.

Worst case scenario - a person gives full details of their abuser - he or someone he knows sees it - tracks her down, and "Adios Amigo's!"

How would that sit morally and legally? It happens, but it won't be happening because it was allowed on this site.

stillsmilen · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 363

There are several cheater exposing websites Wink

They are... playersandpsychos (my personal favorite).... datingpsychos.... womansavers.... cheaterdb.... bashmyex (although bashmyex is very sleezy, with ad's for free porn, etc... I actually think my XNP has discovered that and visits his profile often.. Laughing

) also cyberpathblogspot.

All of them are for men and women, except womansavers and dontdatehimgirl.

Echo is right, you really have to know your ex well and decide if posting him will put you in danger. Also you need to word it very well to avoid a defamation lawsuit. The truth is the best defense in a defamation suit, and if it's something you're not sure about make sure to word it as "I believe" or "In my opinion"

I posted mine on all the sites and found it very liberating. Also the search engine webcrawlers will pick up his name, and before you know it he will be listed on google, etc... under the heading.. playersandpsychos, datingpsychos, etc... So any woman in the future who 'googles' him will get an eyeful!! And that's why I did it, to warn others.

It is true that he will deny it to future women, and tell them you are crazy and posted him out of spite. But the way I looked at it.. Atleast it will be in the back of their minds making it harder to ignore the red flags and gut feelings.

Cool

stillsmilen
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I made him very sorry that he chose me as a victim!!!
He may have knocked me down, but I got right back up... And kicked his a**!!
(metaphorically speaking ofcourse, but if he hadn't gotten the PPO, I probably would have done it literally too!!)

Cookie1 · Guest

Wow smilen...Youve been a very busy girl havent you Question

How'd the interview go Question

sara · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 175 Location: USA

I would love to somehow forewarn my X NP's next victim. But, alas, I know how he is. Because he pulled it on me. When he's busy charming his next source he is so charming. I thought all the women before me were crazy or bit****. When we first started seeing each other, he would save all my emails in a separate file. I thought "oh, how sweet". Then when he suddenly discarded me, I was so hurt and depressed, I couldn't work, I called him constantly and made a total ass out of myself.

That's when I first realized when I went to his house to talk with him, he was saving those emails for blackmailing me. I'm the one who looked crazy! When there is no physical abuse, it's really hard to prove the emotional trauma they put their victims through. I think mine would of been physically abusive if we hadn't worked together. There was a couple of times I thought he was going to hit me.

I know that in the end he will die a miserable, angry, lonely old man. I also have faith that in the afterlife he will be held accountable for his actions.

Anyway, I'm back from Vegas. I did not get lucky (either financially or any other way Wink

), but it was sure good to get away.

hugs,
sara[/img]

Nolongerhisvictim · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1435

First of all, I have to say that I agree with Lukky and Survivormom...your safety is a must!!! Second, getting even sounds like a great thing, but I am a firm believer in that what ever you give out will eventually come back to you. That means if you give out bad, bad will find you...I personally have been through too much with the P and I don't want to go for a second round with him. I want him to remain in my past, not end up as a part of my future...there isn't room for him in my heart or life anymore....besides, he would take up useful space that could be used for the people I love, not the illusion of a man that I know him to be! Eventually, I believe, what he gives out will come back to him too. It may take time for him to get caught, but it will happen. I just hope I am alive to see it (he's much younger than I am). That will be my revenge!!!!! The other thing to consider is that all the energy and time you spend on exposing him could be used to heal yourself. So ask yourself this question: "Where would my time best be spent on, him, or me?" Then I think you will have the answer you are looking for....

My thoughts are with you...

NLHV
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NLHV