Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

wlw35 · Joined: 09 Mar 2007 Posts: 367

Cricket, oh, I feel for you, how sad for her to pull at your heartstrings, so sad that she's alone, you are so right to be strong, though, tell her like it is, she needs help and we can't own her feelings or make it "better" My NM has my NF for now, she has a few friends and lots of NS from church. She probably doesn't even miss us that much! She gave up calling, she understands caller ID, she started using calling cards so a different # would show, I don't answer any of those calls either, she's given up for now. NPs both have cell phones and NF LOVES the internet, computers, he controls it, she says that she doesn't "understand" it, prefers letters, etc... She can barely run a VCR/DVD, etc... It would be "cute", sometimes it's just passive aggressive to get attention or get others to do things for her. She always told me to "play dumb" and others will do the work for you! They are all alike....

Cricket · Joined: 27 Feb 2007 Posts: 113

My mom plays dumb All. The. Time. In addition to playing dumb, she plays Foreign (like our weird American ways are simply too much for her to understand, despite the fact that she's lived here for over three decades and speaks English better than most Americans).

It's so cloying, and such a bad example to set.

wlw35 · Joined: 09 Mar 2007 Posts: 367

Cricket, that sounds like my MIL, they are from Switzerland, she pulls that stunt all the time that she doesn't understand. She is N, too, just not as bad as my NM. They go in and out of German, my H speaks it fluently and does so when they converse on the phone, my MIL and FIL have left messages on our phone completely in German, SO RUDE. That's a whole other story. Where is your family from???

Cricket · Joined: 27 Feb 2007 Posts: 113

My mom is northern European as well, but hasn't been back there since her mother died ten years ago. She always refused to teach us her mother tongue, which is a bit of a tragedy as it would have come in handy. But you know Ns--Secrets = Power. My American father always tried to teach it to us, but she would scoff at his pronounciations and make fun of him for what she considered to be his pathetic attempts at worldliness. Nice, huh?

Riccy101 · Joined: 18 Feb 2007 Posts: 287

My parents are from Germany too. I always made excuses for their behavior thinking that they didn't understand the language or our customs. I'm sure it got them off the hook with a lot of people.

I do understand the language, unless it gets too technical. I'd have difficulty understanding their evening news, for example. I never learned it in school. Just picked it up listening to them, and visiting my relatives in Germany.

Riccy