Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

rcsdgrl · Joined: 08 Mar 2007 Posts: 36 Location: Southeast USA

Well, I did it. For the first time in my life, I did not celebrate my daughter's birthday. Actually, she was born on Mother's Day and this year her birthday fell on the day before. I wish I could tell all of you that it was an easy thing to do, but it wasn't. I tried with all my might to not think about her but it was a no go. I felt like a total s**t, and I still do. I got D&Dd by her last August and she wants nothing to do with me. I wrote her a letter telling her I loved her after the D&D, and she texted me back, telling me to not contact her again. I have respected her wishes and not contacted her in any way, shape or form. On Mother's Day I heard from all of my kids but her. Ofcourse, I knew in my heart that I wouldn't hear from her...but it still stung. I feel like a worthless mom. Things will get better I know, I just need to give it more time. Maybe one day I won't pine for "pretend daughter". My other kids are great and I need to concentrate on being there for them. I wonder how long it takes for a mother's heart to heal. RC

paradox · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 120

RC,
Wonder why we do that to ourselves...beat ourselves up for the relationship that cannot be what we would like it to be? If only we could spend half as much time and energy being grateful for the kids who turned out fine... ( living testament, as you know, that you are not a worthless mom, but a caring , decent parent.)
Congratulations on surviving a difficult milestone. Mother's Day is hard enough without the birthday "bonus". : ( Hope it's easier for you next time around.