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Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group
An Online Support Community For Abuse Survivors
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femfree
Site Admin
Joined: 11 Feb 2007
Posts: 654
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 Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2007 7:19 pm Post subject: Important Information for Your Safety |
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Important Information for your Safety. You will learn that the psychological defence mechanisms of the personality disordered are deeply ingrained and challenging this could be potentially dangerous.
Learn as much as you can as fast as you can and protect yourself financially and emotionally.
| Quote: | | "You've got to spin it so that the NP gets credit for being his idea or that he'll get something out of it." (a member's quote) |
| Quote: | | Some of the best lessons we ever learn are learned from past mistakes. The error of the past is the wisdom and success of the future.--Dale Turner |
Please read this important information for your safety.
Loving the Self Absorbed - How to Create a More Satisfying Relationshp with a Narcissistic Partner
by Nina W. Brown, EdD LPC NCC
If you are convinced, or feel reasonably certain that you are in a relationship with a destructive narcissist, you may be tempted to do all or any of the following
Tell your partner that he or she is a destructive narcissist.
Confront your partner about their behavior and attitudes.
Leave this book where you partner can see it with the hope that they will read it and see what they are doing.
Give your partner the book and tell them to read it, since it’s about them.
Do not do any of the above, or anything similar. Here is why these acts are not helpful. Persons with a destructive narcissist pattern cannot see the behaviors and attitudes they exhibit as you and others perceive them. They are unaware of the impact on you, and are well defended against knowing. Further, your attempts to make them aware or get through to them will fail, and will be perceived as threats to their core essential self. This will bring out their defenses for protection. The defenses are likely to be hostile, aggressive, strong and immediately available to them, so that they are able to attack and mount a strong counteroffensive in a nanosecond. You generally do not win or make any headway, and can find yourself in a worse position than before.
(Note: members find this a VERY SUCCESSFUL Tactic)
How to Leave a Narcissist. The narcissist analyses (and internalizes) everything in terms of blame and guilt, superiority and inferiority, gain (victory) and loss (defeat) and the resulting matrix of narcissistic supply. Narcissists are binary contraptions. Thus, the formula is very simple: Shift the blame to yourself ("I don't know what happened to me, I have changed, it is my fault, I am to blame for this, you are constant, reliable and consistent). Tell him you feel guilty (excruciatingly so, in great and picturesque detail). Tell him how superior he is and how inferior you feel. Make this separation your loss and his absolute, unmitigated gain. Convince him that he is likely to gain more supply from others (future women?) than he ever did or will from you. BUT Make clear that your decision - though evidently "erroneous" and "pathological" - is FINAL, irrevocable and that all contact is to be severed henceforth. And never leave ANYTHING in writing.
Excerpts from the Archives of the Narcissism List
http://samvak.tripod.com/archive35.html
_________________
Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer;
nothing is more difficult than to understand him.
Fyodor Dostoevsky
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lemondroppr
Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Posts: 1464
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lemondroppr
Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Posts: 1464
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